[OhKay]

Somehow I managed to vacuum the apartment yesterday, but it wasn't because of any real motivation on my part. My husband pretty much shamed me into it.

Because I'm sleeping so much, it's hard to really gauge how I'm feeling, or how I'm doing. I was feeling mostly flat and lethargic until a little while ago, when an obnoxious telemarketer called, and instead of hanging up, I ******* lost it on her. Apparently it's still not too hard to flip my switch.

I haven't been out of the house since I saw my pdoc on Monday, but I plan on going out tomorrow to run some errands. Being around other people should give me a better idea of the level of my paranoia.

I'm going back to bed now. I hope it's not an another epic nap.

[OhKay]

I slept for 5 hours.

What really sucks about sleeping so long and so late is that my husband is drunk, or at least halfway there, by the time I wake up from my nap now. I think he's been drinking faster when he gets home from work because he's lonely and bored. I woke up from my nap at about 5 one evening this week and he passed out at 6:30pm.
I'm upset about his drinking behavior, but I'm also aware of the fact that all my excessive sleeping isn't fair to him.

I've been on the 300mg of gabapentin twice a day since Monday, and three times a day since Tuesday. I have no expectation of how long this is supposed to take to make a difference, but it hasn't yet.


Despite that 5 hour nap, I felt particularly sedated less than an hour after taking my pills last night (very rare) and I started nodding off. When I got up off the couch to pee and go to bed, I got dizzy and felt disoriented. There was no obvious reason for it, and I checked my pill case this morning and there were no errors. I don't know what that was all about, but I will be in bed a at least half hour after taking my pills tonight because that was scary and felt rotten.

I was oversleeping prior to the increase in the frequency of the gabapentin, but I've been experiencing some sedation from the am dose of it. I have to go out today, so maybe I'll take a shower and turn in for an early nap…

It would be nice to get my errands done and be awake when my husband gets home from work for once.

[bizi]

I wish wellness for you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[OhKay]

The early nap was a good idea. It worked out for me yesterday. I will do the same today.

I had a problem with my nighttime pills again, but I was already in bed when it happened. Even though I was laying down, I still felt all ****ed up, and then I must have passed out.

I've been taking a total of 900mg of gabapentin since Tuesday, so it's had a chance to build up in my system. I take a huge 700mg dose of seroquel at night, and maybe together it's just too much… ?

I called my pdoc and left a message. I want to discuss the gabapentin anyway. I think it's been helping my paranoia, but it hasn't helped my depression.

I'm just a sad **** right now… or a bitch… when I'm awake.

[bizi]

Glad that the paranoia is better.
sorry that you are sad.
sorry that your husband shamed you into doing anything.....
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[OhKay]

I talked to my pdoc, and she thinks that the 900mg of gabapentin was just "too much too soon." I'll be taking the 300mg twice a day instead of three times a day.

She said I hadn't been on the higher dose of gabapentin long enough to for it to help with depression.

I hope the problems with the night pills stop now, but I don't expect I'll see any improvement in my depression any time soon now that the dose has had to be cut down.

[Mari]

Kay,

It is hard to juggle these things. But it seems that you feel that she is being
more appropriately responsive to you.
=-=-=-=-=-
I hope that you feel less depressed soon.

M

[bizi]

oh kay, I hope you feel better soon.
am sorry that your depression is bringing you down.
Wish your husband were more supportive....
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[OhKay]

I had the same problem after taking my pills last night, but I just cut down to 600mg of gabapentin yesterday. Maybe tonight will be better.

I'm sure my pdoc will want me to raise the gabapentin to 900mg again the next time I see or speak to her.

I don't know how those of you who struggle with depression all the time do it
It's been so long since I've been through a major depressive episode, I'd forgotten how thoroughly ****ty it feels
At least hypomania has attractive features, even if they can be destructive.

[bizi]

hugs to you today my friend
(((((((HUGS)))))))
love,
bizi