I am so scared about my spending. it is so out of control. it is so related to my depression. The stock market will probably keep on going down. I have no room for all the clothes I am buying. I hardly leave my apartment. I keep on buying shoes
good new suri got new cancer medication and she has been going to the dead sea. she thinks it will help her cancer. she uses a lot of holistic things. yeah

I am off risperdal and now on rexulti

Bobby

Keep working on things. You can do this.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

he said risperdal may prevent me from crying

I think I already feel the effects of the switch. I had weird dreams last night. I am sort of numb but not depressed. I just took another one. I feel like crying.

I rang cecllia's doorbell to give prince a christmas toy. I had ordered it before. I have missed him. she was friendly and said to come over later

When I went through a period of depression Rexulti worked really well for me. I know our BP is different, but I think it may really help you :hug::hug::hug:

What Mari said about non-depressed people not being able to understand what things are like for depressed people is true tho. My periods of depression are different and more treatable. I do know how you struggle, and wish things were different and easier for you all :hug::hug::hug:

I'm glad that you rang Cecilia's bell, and she was pleasant. Did you ever go back over?

I wonder how long it takes to help. I am sooooo depressed. I am going over cecilia's at 6:30/ I will play with Prince. My kitty cats are being affectionate. I will take marci out for lunch on monday. then I will see zeynep who I now talk to at length almost every day. I sort of feel dead. I feel okay when I am eating ice cream. Practically all food now doesn't appeal to me but I am still eating. I have the ingredients for more cabbage soup but I don't feel like having it. I have been reading a lot but right now I don't really feel like reading. I wish I could just fall asleep. I got so many packages. the buying was a high but getting them is painful. no joy.

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek?to be consoled as to console;?to be understood as to understand;?to be loved as to love.?For it is in giving that we receive;?it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;?and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

I have been listening to the messiah and thinking how suffering brings you closer to God

no mention was made of Pika. I played with Prince. Usually cecilia serves food but she didn't. after forty five minutes she said she was tired and looked it so I left.