Bobby

You need to keep working with talking to her. She sounds like she
needs someone to talk to. And you need someone to care about right
now. This is a good thing for you to be doing.

I'm so proud of you. You are putting her needs before yours right
now if you ask me.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

This is really weird after I wrote the post about "purpose" I got your posts this morning and the phone call from my friend this morning and now I just got this email from my best friend Alice
I really enjoyed my birthday dinner!!


I don't remember exactly what prompted me to make a point of commenting
on how important you have been to Suri during her illness. I'm sure I've
said more than once that I believe helping other creatures (human and
non-human) more than justifies our existence and I think my comment was
in that kind of context.


And I added but will reiterate that I've always found you to be
empathetic and insightful, especially when I'm going through a difficult
time.


Love,
Alice

I gained almost ten pounds during my depression.

Bobby

See sometimes our purpose is that we listen to others, do for or
with others. I think you have found a purpose for yourself right now.

I think in some ways many of your friends depend on you to help
them with things, or just listen and you don't realize it.
Because you think they are just helping you.

For one thing I'm sure even though you think Robert just helps you,
I'm sure he really appreciates the time you spend listening to him,
and taking the time to pay attention to his dog(can't remember the name),
and having the bones is it for him. And the other little things you do.

Cecelia, enjoys the time you spend with her. The fact you can come over.
Spend some time giving her dog some extra loving. Yes, I really do mean
that. I know I love it when Layla, and others come and spend time with
my two dogs (Jake and Nipper) and two cats(christina and Angel) and make
a big deal about them. It makes me happier because its not just me
and my kids. Its everyone that comes in the house. Especially with Jake
because he was a rescue animal, and he has come so far, with others now
he goes to the door and to the chair they sit in and wants attention. It brings
a big smile to my face.

So I'm thinking your doing a lot of listening and just don't realize it.

I also know you listen to us here. And even if we don't say so. We all appreciate you.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

thank you Donna. Yesterday I listened to my reunited friend and her vent about her doctor for fifteen minutes and thought of you! Then when I got Alice's email I was blown away.Then I listen a lot to Marcia, my aide and the stories she tells about her elderly clients and the emergencies she deals with. When I was a psychologist I was a very good listener and gave unconditional love to the kids I saw. It worked. Now if I can figure out how to stop eating.
thank you again.
fondly
bobby

I hear you with the weight gain bobby. ((((HUGS))))
bizi I see dr. orazio my pdoc tomorrow morning...not looking forward to that.
bizi

I think when it comes to both of you on weight loss.

Maybe you both need to remember that it comes in
time. Just one day at a time.

Just take it time and work one day at a time. right now.

First, give it today. What are you going to do today.
About not eating to much. Say give yourself some
down time with this.

And start it next week. Maybe let your self splurge this week
Bobby. Then start it slow next week.

And remember to start your bike too. Just get going with it.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I have been doing well monday thru thursday

then blow it on the weekends.
bizi

Actually I think we are all good listeners.
When ever you read/like a post you are in fact listening to what that person has to say.so this is an interesting way to look at the likes button.
bizi
thanks for listening bobby!
bizi

I think you're a fantastic lady, Bobby. You have a beautiful heart and share it with your friends. The girls are right in that you are a good listener, and a good friend, and that is a wonderful purpose to have in life :hug::hug::hug:

Cecilia just opened up to me. She is a twin. The worse thing she told me was that her mother told her she told the hospital to kill her because she was premature. Her mother told her that. She told me many other things that were so sad and abusive but that topped it!

wow bobby, that must have been a hard conversation.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I heard so many horror stories when I was a child psychologist but nothing topped that. I called her and told her that thank God she had had a great boyfriend for years. I told her no therapy could help her with childhood. she said she and her twin had their own language and didn't talk swedish til they were five.

I started thinking. I saw a boy who watched his father beat his mother to death. I think they were both just as bad.
I called my long lost friend to wish her well on her colonoscopy this afternoon and said hi to her long term boyfriend. It doesn't seem that long ago.

Poor Cecilia! :hug::hug::hug:

You are being a very supportive friend to your friends :hug::hug::hug:

I was stressed out yesterday. this morning a friendly visitor from Dorot is coming over with goodies for the holidays for about an hour. I always get nervous wondering if we will have anything to talk about. I have to straighten my apartment. My sheet always comes undone because of the mattress and I have a hard time putting it back on. I usually wait for Marci who does it in a breeze.

made the bed. this time was easy. when looking for religious music finally found a song i couldn't remember the name of
http://leonardcohen.com/video/everybody-knows

I'm so glad that you are having a friendly visitor today! :)

I'm sure that you will find things to talk about... you could always talk about your friends... :hug:

I am happy she is coming over!
bizi

The friendly visitor was a young woman who spoke beautifully and was very nice. There was no connection. I shared the goodies she brought. I gave her some to take home with her.
Then my friend called and invited me over to see her apartment. It was so lovely. There was a big connection. We talked for three hours. The time sped by. I go really wound up so I had a hard time sleeping. It was my bipolar.
I slept for about three hours altogether. I thought a lot about God and suffering and how I feel closer to God when I am suffering. I wasn't suffering yesterday and it felt like the old times but I wish I had felt closer to God. I don't know if I have to start reading the Bible or what. That is not like me.She mentioned coming over again and seeing a documentary her twenty year old granddaughter made when she was 17 and picked up by HBO.She mentioned driving with me to Stanford and seeing her son. She talked so much about her family. What an interesting family.Her grandmother was very strong and in Turkey at that time the women had rights.

I am glad you connected with her.
nice to feel emotions too.
bizi

I'm glad that you had a nice visit with your friend and felt so connected with her! She gave you a lot of positive things to think about :hug:

I'm sorry that you didn't feel a connection with the friendly visitor from Dorot. Maybe next time you will feel more comfortable with her.

Are you still taking the religious classes? Did they help you feel closer to God at all? Have you read from the Bible in the past? Maybe you could look up some passages on the internet that you may find helpful :hug::hug::hug:

Leonard Cohen = One of our best poets and songwriters.:)

He was Canadian. I love his singing Hallelujah! Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah ((Live In London - Video Edit)) - YouTube
I didn't know he wrote Suzanne

I won't see the woman again. Yes I am taking the classes. I haven't read much of the Bible. Suri told me to start reading the Psalms again and then maybe I won't have to suffer but read about David's closeness with God and his always asking for help and expressing his love. I thought it was a good idea. I took some classes in the Psalms but they were too intellectual. The Rabbi was really learned.
Yesterday I crashed.

What do you mean when you say you "crashed"?

I got severely depressed. This morning I woke up and I was fine.

what a roller coaster. this must be so hard to deal with.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I woke up really depressed and itchy. I am meeting stella for lunch. I don;t want to be alone on Yon Kippur even though you are not supposed to eat

I'm sorry that you woke up so depressed, Bobby :hug::hug::hug:
Honestly, your bipolar disorder seems very complex to me. You are up and down from day to day sometimes, and that's rather rare :hug:

I'm glad that you are going out to lunch with Stella. I think that God will understand that you aren't being adherent on this occasion because you aren't feeling well and need the company of a friend :hug::hug::hug:

Is it really rare? I am down much more than I am up

Bobby

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by not supposed to eat.

But for someone that is an diabetic or watching to make sure
they aren't. Its dangerous to not eat. So I think its safe
to say that the lord will forgive.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Usually BP II depression goes on for a rather long period of time and doesn't relent, but you seem to have some peaks of hypomania thrown in for very short bursts that don't seem fit the pattern of traditional episodes, and that's why I think your BP is rather rare :hug:

my depression usually goes on forever. last night i couldn't sleep and I was so depressed and depressed this morning. I see my pdoc and will ask him to raise the cymbalta. I did get really excited about seeing my friend.

I am glad that you were excited seeing your friend. This is a normal reaction and not hypomania.
bizi

Bobby

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by not supposed to eat.

But for someone that is an diabetic or watching to make sure
they aren't. Its dangerous.

I have to update this to say. My computer froze because I think
my internet went down yesterday. And it came up on this today.
So date may not be correct.
Donna :hug::grouphug:

it was a fast day and evening but I didn't

My friend Robert is putting Mickey to sleep at 6.p.m He doesn't think it is a good idea for me to come over. The vet is coming to his apartment. I love Mickey.
bobby

I did go over and said good bye to Mickey

Bobby

I think you needed the closer to say good bye to Mickey also. I think
your friend Robert is going to need some time. Then he is going to
need his good friend Bobby now.

Maybe you can figure out a way to honor Mickey and help Robert too.

I''m sorry for both yours lose.

Donna :hug::grouphug: