I see him in three weeks. I am seeing a friend for lunch, I am eating like a pig. The sleeping pills aren't working.

my friend stella repeatedly calls me up early up and gives me advice how to deal with it

hi bobby could you explain this a bit more?
Not quite sure what you are saying.
thanks bizi:o

it makes no sense-today she called before eight and woke me from a light sleep and knows i have trouble sleeping and then emailed me and told me how to take care of myself by adjusting the phone so I won't hear it. I wrote her and told her she is thhe one who calls me that early

She is inconsiderate of your needs.
YOu could put your phone on silence so that way nobody will bother you until you want calls. Just be sure to put it on a soft surface, other wise it will vibrate and you can hear it on a hard surface. This way you could sleep till noon if you want to and not be bothered or you can just turn the phone off entirely. This way you know you can sleep when ever you want to sleep, day or night.


bizi

i told her she is the on;y one who calls but what if there is an emergency

the sleeping pill is not working. it appears to be doing the opposite

Bobby

I also have the problem of what if an emergency.

I've been working trying to figure it out. Anyone have a clue,

In my case I need to make sure I hear the calls from Derrick,
His DSP, and my other two sons, but the odds are they wouldn't
call that late. So mainly Derrick's contacts.

I'm at this point only using my intuition heehee.

I did sleep with my cell phone, and that is unusual so I'll continue.
In my bedroom.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I didn't take the sleeping pill and feel better. I am still tired. I am not as itchy.
I am finally able to read. the klonopin seems to be working again.

Yay!!! It's great to hear that some things are going your way for once! :)

Maybe you just needed a break from the Klonopin?

Stella is SO BOSSY! I hope she isn't still spouting that cult-like mumbo jumbo anymore... You may have to be more firm with her about her early morning calls if you can or block her number temporarily if she won't stop. What a PITA.

That's good, Bobby, about reading and about the Klonopin helping.



M

thanks but I am not sleeping

Bobby

I am sorry you aren't sleeping.

1. Question, are you sleeping at all during the day instead.
2. Have you tried warm milk to see if it helps you sleep?
3. If you can't sleep try reading in this time period. I know
that makes you stay awake too. But I know when I can't sleep
and I read, it makes me sleepy and then sometimes I can sleep.

I've also been known to fall asleep with the tv on.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

I don't usually sleep or take a nap during the day. milk doesn;t work. I do leave the tv on. I sometimes read. I am so wired.

I'm sorry you are so wired. I wish I had an idea for that.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

He hasn't found a sleeping aid that works

Sleep issues like insomnia are very big problems for many people with BP, not that that makes things any easier to swallow for you :hug::hug::hug:

Do you take any Klonopin before bed? I know that it works for some people, but not others (myself included).

I know that you spend a lot of time in bed. It may help to only spend time in bed for sleeping, napping, or periodically for resting. If you don't have any comfortable chairs, you may want to invest in a recliner if you don't have one already, or don't have the room :hug:

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You need sleep :hug::hug::hug:

I have a recliner but hardly use it. I am mostly in bed watching tv . I started reading again. I am not comfortable in the recliner or on the chairs. I don't have a couch. I set on the chair when I am on the computer

having bad thoughts. eating a lot of nutrisystem snacks and worrying about my diabetes. don't feel like having regular food. having a check up in two weeks. I have no energy. I am so depressed I don't even care about the stock market.

last night i had dreams where i was crazy

What kind of bad thoughts are you having, Bobby? Are you fixating on death again? :hug::hug::hug:

Are you sleeping at all at night?
I know you said you are not sleeping during the day... I don't know how you keep going... you must feel miserable, and that doesn't help depression :hug:

You sound deeply depressed :hug::hug::hug:
I know that your pdoc is just trying to ween you off of the Cymbalta right now... maybe after the next time you see him things will get better. I wish you could see him sooner :hug:

I wish I could help you feel better some how...
But all I can offer is love and (((HUGS)))

thanks so much. I am fixated on death. Last nite I slept and had weird crazy dreams. I see the Pdoc on the 30. I am torturing myself mentally. I am worried about diabetes but can't control myself.

I am going to try to have p.t. again.

I know that you've been struggling, so I'm happy that you will be having PT again. I hope it will help you :hug:

I remember you said you see your doctor soon. I hope that when you go, your A1c isn't too bad. I know you really, really worry, but it has been pretty good the last couple of times you have gone despite your overeating :hug:

I wish I knew of.a way to help you cut back, but the problem with overeating is complex and I'm no MD. Can you think of any healthy things to binge on vs. unhealthy ones?

there is a vegetable mix at fresh direct that i like and i am going to start having
it. I hope the pt. will call me. It is unlimited now up to the therapist.
Psalm 119:71
71 It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.

That's a good one about faith.


=-=-
I am not quite there -- even so I do love all the psalms.
=-=-
Good luck with your PT and your vegetable mix.


M

It might sound crazy but I believe that suffering is a gift from God because it drives you to try to move closer to him. One of the Rabbis who visited me said that Jewish teaching says suffering is God's gift. Last night had another fight with Stella and this time I came out with a deeper meaning that we really are blessed by the depression when we turn to God and it will lead you to Heaven or the world to come. Don't look at bipolar depression as a punishment but as a gateway to heaven if you can withstand the pain.

I don’t think that sounds crazy. I like the way you are starting to look at things, and I hope that that way of thinking helps you :hug::hug::hug:

I’m not religious, but I do believe that suffering can make us stronger. I have had a hard life, and I think it has prepared me to deal with some of the other challenges that have come my way.

I have to really think about that.

I think that both things can be true at the same time.

maybe suffering is a way of life

Bobby

Yes, I think suffering is a way of life.

Some times people need to suffer to figure out how to live life.
I'm specifically talking about my son Dan right now.
He has had so much trouble living life not suffering, in some
way. Like probation is a part of his life. And personally I think
at this point if he doesn't have probation, he wouldn't know
what to do. I'm hoping as time comes he figures out how to
live life without being on probation.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

does he believe in God?

Bobby

He used to. That isn't something i can say for now.

He honestly needs to start by not doing things he knows
is a probation violation. But he is finally trying and
learning. Just takes time.
Donna

maybe if he read the psalms that would help him with his suffering. so much is about suffering.
fondly'bobby

I can't get physical therapy but probably can get occupational therapy

only slept three hours last nite

Bobby

I'm glad that you slept some, even if not enough.

I have to admit I think I slept about 4 or 5 hours last night.
Just couldn't fall asleep. But enjoyed laying in the bed.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Donna, I can really sympathize with Dan. The first time I was in the hospital, I left too early (did it the 2nd time too), and it was like I had to relearn everything because major episodes can really f- you up. It takes time, and a lot of tweaking of meds to get back to baseline...
I'm happy that he has the probation to motivate him to do some of the things he needs to do to help him get back on track. He may not be 100% right now, but he just need some time to recover from that bad episode :hug::hug::hug:

I'm sorry that you aren't well sleeping, Bobby. 3 hours a night is not enough... it's terrible. I wish the new sleep med had helped you :hug::hug::hug:

I hate the medicare rules about PT. I had to stop my pool PT because I had exhausted my limit for a certain period. The PT said it may be a good thing because you never know what's going to happen with MS, and unfortunately, she's right. I still have some sessions left for later this year I guess. I really don't understand the rules. They're stupid.

There are some things that an occupational therapist can do for you to help, so you will not be left SOL :hug: