Originally Posted by GeeLuv (Post 1285742)

Hey Blue!

We haven't met yet. I'm newer here. Call me Gee! I technically don't have bipolar2 dx, but I have a dx of unspecified bipolar presenting with depression at the time. I've had elevated moods before and after though, but the after ones, at least, haven't qualified as elevated enough according to my GP (and well I'm not complaining since I haven't done anything reckless and just had good moods after so long and was productive). But before dx, I did feel like I was having sort of mixed episodes and/or just dysphoric moods and that was no bueno. Is your name (username) Latina by chance? Er Latino? (Quick Google makes me think I was right, but it is masculine)

Anyway, I'm so sorry to hear about your circumstances and I'm sending you good thoughts. Wish I could say something more profound, but I will echo the thought that you stick around. Of course, I hope that circumstances improve though.

Actually, I don't know any books, but on my PC (I'm on my tablet now) I have a bookmark about dealing with grief from PsychCentral archives. (The sister site to this forum) I wasn't going through a permanent loss (death), but I was going through a different kind of permanent loss and was grieving. Took me like 2 or 3 years to fully get over it. Sigh! (IT was a loss of a friendship that I had been very attached to and thought they felt the same thing) While it wasn't a romantic loss, I've been told that losing a friendship can hurt just as much, and it did. :/ So, I can relate to your current loss too, and the shock by it too. I'm so sorry. Hugs! I'll try getting that link for you soon! :)

Originally Posted by mymorgy (Post 1285747)

I am so sorry you are suffering so much. I think being bipolar exacerbates it and makes one have such negative thoughts. I just lost my best friend from cancer a few months ago. she fought it for 3 1/2 years. I am so obsessed with death now and haven't been able to deal with her loss. I know I should try to focus on the good memories. and think her mission on earth was accomplised and she is no longer suffering.Have you tried praying? I don't know what else helps besides time. I blame bipolar on having poor judgment in choice of men too. Try to look for somebody who is kind to you and who appreciates all that you have to offer. I never thought that when I was younger. I was attracted to excitement which I also blame on bipolar. I know this sounds awful but instead of focusing on what you don't have think of all the people who have far less than you have.. I think that is awful but I think it helps. I just started trying that when somebody suggested it. May God forgive me.
You are so special and loved. May your suffering ease.
fondly
bobby

Originally Posted by BlueMajo (Post 1273349)

Holy moly.... I dont even remember how to reply to each one of you in the same post.... so, a big message for everything will have to do :)

Dear Bizi... I wish you mom could be eternal so you dont have to experience this pain never in your life.... losing a mom is like all the sum of all the pain you have felt in your life multiplied by 1,000,0000,0000,0000 + times.... it is pure hell. I feel a hole where my heart is supposed to be... like, for real, not literally.... horrendous. :( You are right.... the second year is feeling like worse....

Mari !!!!!!! :) I always kept you in my thoughts :hug: oh.... uff, my mom was my.... best friend, my favorite company.... my motivation.... I could write a book of all the happy moments we had.... but tonight I wanna share my mom was very special.... she never did anything to anyone, always helped.... she was so strong.... survived so many difficult times.... always with a smile... she had a great faith in God (in who I no longer believe btw) and she was so humble, funny, protective, natural.... damn how much I need her :(

(((Donna))) I feel guilty.... I feel like I didnt give her all that she deserved... maybe it was my fault that she died because I didnt take her to the doctor more often ? I wish I could change everything.... If I could do everything in a different way....

Kay !! :hug: I dont doubt that meds did their thing at some point but.... not enough, not anymore.... same with therapy.... it was talk talk and talk and, sometimes I use the advices my therapist gave me but, this damn pain doesnt go away and it bothers me even physically ?
Terrible.

Bobby.... :hug: I have missed you.

I have missed you all....

Where is waves ? Wheres is BrokenFriend ?

:grouphug:

Im more a chronic depressive than bipolar.... but my friends have always been in this forum :hug: :)