That is amazing!
bizi

i just looked at what the pharmacy delivered last week. 17 bottles of lactulose which after two days didn't work for me. I left a message with the doctor just now to make sure he ordered them and also told him about the apple cider vinegar and olive oil.
my anxiety is so high. my stomach is okay. last night I drink almost a whole bottle of white wine because I was so anxious. I drink 1/2 bottle the night before.
I should be so relieved. My eye doctor didn't find anything wrong except I need to wear reading glasses now and just a minor change in distance glasses.

Can you return the lactulose?

I can't and I don't know what they charged me. I was afraid to ask. Then I noticed they didn't deliver metformin so as my anxiety even went higher if possible, I called them to ask about it. I was told I could have it and they would deliver it. I took lemon balm and valerian but they haven't touched my anxiety.
love
bobby
listening to Josh Groban and will try to read.
just ordered two pints of ice cream and potato chips

Bobby

I would make sure to tell the pharmacy not to deliver any more
laxutose is it called. Just to be on the safe side.

Then if it looks after a week or two that its staying like you don't
need it. Maybe you can take it to the doctors offices or something
and get rid of it. If they would take it.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I told the pharmacy to always tell me when I need a refill and the price of it. I told them this has never happened to me before. I said I always have to approve the order. I also told them that I don't use that medication anymore because it only worked once! I already told the doctor that it didn't work. I am surprised he ordered so much of something that is so worthless to me
It would cost me almost 30 dollars in cab fare if the doctor would take it. I don't want to spend thirty dollars. You understand right. Cab fares are so expensive especially since they added over 3 dollars a ride extra!

Bobby

I was talking about if you were going to be going to the doctor.
Not to make a special trip.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Oh I misunderstood. He said he couldn't help me.
fondly
bobby

why on earth would anyone order 17 bottles?
so sorry that happened to you.
(((((HUGS)))))))
bizi

I left a message at his office but he never called me back

I am so fearful,angry and agitated.

I ordered more herbs for my stomach. Zeynep just called to have lunch. I am so happy. I was so lonely and anxious and now I have something to look forward to. She also has IBS and I told her to try apple cider vinegar. Other laxatives work for her but too much.
Tomorrow somebody from Dorot is coming over in the morning for an hour and bringing me a food package for the holidays.
bobby

I am glad that you are going out for lunch...yes something to look forward to.
Glad you have such good friends.
Some one is coming over on a sunday? Happy that you are getting a food package.

(((((HUGS and love ))))))
bizi

Bobby

Sounds so good. Hope you had a good lunch. And have a good visit tomorrow.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

thanks so much. I had a lovely lunch. I have to straighten up my apartment a little.
fondly
bobby

I got on the scale and I lost six pounds. I thought I gained around four pounds. It doesn't make sense.The other night I had two pints of ice cream. My g.i. doctor said he couldn't help me with my constipation.He said just to use what I have been using phillips. Now I have been using apple vinegar cider and olive oil I told him about the discomfort but no pain or blood. I think I told him about the indigestion. He didn't suggest an endoscopy. He thought I might have IBS. I don't know what to do. I don't understand the weight loss. Yesterday I had delicious french fries and a hamburger. My stomach didn't get upset. It doesn't get upset with chinese food or Indian food or coffee. It is just when it is empty. I will see what I weigh in two weeks. It just doesn't make sense. I can't remember and have to recheck what losing weight is a symptom of. It is something serious.
I guess I should start straightening up the apartment now but I think I am going to first look up about weight loss.
scared as usual
bobby
I might go back to the higher dose of the antidepressant and see if it is what made me jittery.

Weight loss with bloating should be evaluated by a health care professional because, according to Merck Manuals, they are red-flag symptoms for serious disorders, including gastrointestinal cancers and ovarian cancer. Additionally weight loss and bloating may be caused by irritable bowel syndrome, celiac disease, ulcer or gastroparesis.

Bobby

I think its more because you want to lose weight and the way you are
eating. its more because its soup correct and other things. Yes, occasionally
ice cream. but not a diet of it now if I remember correctly.

And an empty stomach causes you to have problems of: feeling like
your stomach hurts. I know this because it happens to me. That
is why when my stomach is hurting and upset I eat peanut butter crackers.

Now please keep eating, and watch how much weight you lose. But also remember you want to lose weight. So if its not a lot. Or if you really get
worried, then see your pcp and ask about the reason's you might be losing.
Also take a list of the things you've eaten like for a week so they can tell if its because of that.

You know just to see.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

it happens to you because of an empty stomach? I am sorry
fondly
bobby

I misread the scale. I gained a pound. I had a lovely time yesterday with the volunteer yesterday. He stayed for an hour and a half. He came last year. He isn't sure whether he is bipolar or not. He told me that the metropolitan museum now charges 25 dollars to non New Yorkers. He goes to Torah class every sunday but I got confused. He may not believe in God or just not have faith. His mother died at eleven. That might have a lot to do with it. I told him I was a fanatic over God. He said one of the reasons he is interested in Judaism is because it has lasted so long.
He went to Trinity which is a great school and is in Hartford where I came from. He was a philosophy major, He wanted to be a philosophy professor but his professor told him in the past 20 years he had only placed one philosophy student as a professor. David said what else could he do but turned to law. He really had a cute sense of humor. He was extremely bright.
bobby

I am glad that you had a nice visit.
So did he finish law school? Is he practicing?
bizi

he finished law school and I think he is retired.

Sounds like such a great visit. I wish they could come like
once a month for you to visit. It would be so nice for you.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I requested a friendly visitor for once a week and said I was bipolar and then the woman said that she would get me a therapist and took down my insurance information. She said the therapist would come to the apartment. I don't know what happened.
david said he would speak to her. I don't have faith in therapists because I have had so many and they haven't helped me except for two. They were young idealist women whom I enjoyed. They tried to help my self esteem.
fondly
bobby
cecilia is coming over at 11 to inject me.

Cecilia just left. She had a bit of trouble injecting me. the green button didn't go down at first and she is strong. Then she fiddled around a lot and the green button went down and we heard the click. I got nervous when she had trouble.
She had a great day yesterday. She went to an agility trial in New Jersey and then her friend of five years invited her to go to her farm. Her friend has two papillons also and is getting a third. She said that they played so much and had the time of their lives!
bobby

I just called Cecilia. I have been a nervous wreck. I couldn't tell if the window was all yellow and was terrified to look at it gain. She said that the window was all yellow. Then I told her I called them and the nurse said to pinch the skin so it will be easier to inject. My mood has been going up and down

I a going to really try to stop my out of control spending. the other night I had a dream that I had no money and was so frantic!

Bobby

Maybe you can limit yourself to an certain amount you can spend.
Or say you can limit to toys for the dog, and the amount of toys.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

It is so hard to stop. I had the doctor lower my antidepressant to see i that would stop my manic behavior like spending and eating too much. I am still doing it so I will asked to be put back on the higher dosage. Also lately I feel like drinking. I don't know where that came from. Now I sometimes feel numb. That is a new one. A few times I didn't even care about my beloved kitty cats.
I just made an appointment with my g.i. doctor. I want an endoscopy. I might have IBS with constipation but I might have something else. It has been going on for so long now.. I have stomach aches every morning but they go away. The phillips caplets aren't working. The apple cider vinegar and olive oil are still working'
Yesterday I gave Cecilia's dogs some toys. It was so cute to see them play with them. Robert is coming over on Monday to pick up some treats and the cutest hedgehog.
I might have ended my long term friendship with Stella. She has no humility and when I disagreed with her about her new babysitting job she attacked. She said the three year old boy was getting too much love from his parents.
I wrote that you couldn't get too much love. Later I wrote that I worked with over 5000 kids when I was a child psychologist hardly any of them would have needed treatment if they were treated as precious.
My spelling is deteriorating more.
bobby

Bobby

I totally agree with you that a three year old can't get to much love from his parents. I honestly think an little or lot older kid might be able to get a little to much love. Only in the since that they don't discipline them enough and let them do things they shouldn't and they then don't know right from wrong.

But its just at the age of three that they really start to understand that they can do something wrong and need to learn the difference.

To give a example my granddaughter right now is obsessed with marking all over her arms with markers. So we make sure she uses washable markers and try to limit it to her arms. Because she is autistic she would find a way to do this either way, because she is obsessed with it right now. So instead of using a pen or trying a pencil which I believe would leave other marks and problems.

She will have to find out this isn't good in time, but hopefully she will stop it before that. Like she had to learn throwing her toys was not okay. Her mom had to take them away if she threw them.

I agree with you so much! Stella has a problem with noise. She doesn't like it.
The little boy rides around the small apartment with his scouter and another noisy toy. I didn't bring it up but but I think this really annoys her. His parents sound so wonderful. I hope Stella doesn't screw it up. The boy's father comes home from work at four or five and takes him to the park. How wonderful!
fondly
bobby

Sorry being bipolar is so hard.
I hope you have a good day.
love bizi

thank you so much. Feel better!
love
bobby

I talked with my friend Joyce.
she said the endoscopy wasn't what I wanted. I needed either an mri or sonogram.. She said when i go to my gp on wednesday to ask for a complete blood test with all my vitals.

Now that might make more sense to see if you can figure out what is going on.

:hug::grouphug:

i am totally confused. i took a few things for my stomach and one of them worked i think it was a probiotic

I think i am going to cancel my g.i. appointment. i just have a lot of gas probably caused by constipation. it is not constant.

Hi, Bobby,


I wish things were easier for you.


It makes sense that you canceled the G.I. appointment.



M

I think i am getting worse. I feel so much anxiety. I don't think the klonopin is working. My sleep is even worse if possible. My eating is awful. My depression is back. My constipation is worse. I am spending so much money to try to help my stomach and constipation. I might be allergic to my kitty cats. I am feeling hopeless.

I am sorry you are having a bad day. Could you pull out your bible and do some reading, you have found comfort there before.
((((((HUGS))))))
love bizi

i tried this morning but I didn't get very far. I think i am going to order some chinese food. I want some red wine but i won't have it. I am afraid it would become a habit.
love
bobby
I will start talking to God and asking for help.