Hope it works out too!

Love and (((hugs)))!

THANKS. my friend robert just took abby to vet to have her nails clipped. It took me 15 minutes to put her in the cat carrier. she was so wild. I always worry so much. I think I am going to skip the lesson at four on Ezra.

Hi, Bobby! :) Well, your new therapist came up with a practical solution for the candle lighting situation, & he was pleased to hear that you are taking classes. If you feel comfortable with him & he's easy to talk to, I think you may have one of the better therapists. I have had that in the past & I wish I could find that again. I wish you all the best, Bobby! :hug: :circlelove:

he seemed easy to talk to. he wasn't stiff.
robert just brought abby home from the vets. she is 11 pounds. I think she gained three pounds! in two years. I called the vet's office to see if he will call me and tell me how she is. the secretary said she behaved. I don't believe it.
love and kisses
bobby

Bobby

I'm glad he suggested electricians. I hope you find some you like.

Donna

i bought some from amazon. the vet called back and said that abby was healthy and sweet! I thought she would rip up his office. He said she was a bit fearful. i tried the cheap hormel chicken alfredo . it was so tasty i some more.
fondly,
bobby

i put lavender on my pillowcase last night and I felt less anxious this morning. The klonopin and the risperdal haven;t been working. My legs have been cramping. I will try to use the bike more. I can't stop listening to the virus news....all those very poor people. It is worse than a nightmare. It is real.

missed you my friend,
love,
bizi

missed you big time. I didn't ask you questions tonight. Didn't want to bother you if you were still up. So glad you passed the deductible even thought that is a huge chunk if money.
Love you and so do my kitty cats!
bobby

I'm sending kind thoughts and ((((((( hugs ))))))) :grouphug:

thank you so much! I need them. I just started therapy again and I am worried this might nit work out. I have so many issues but I realize my catastrophic really tortures me and I don't think he can help me with that.
bobby

I hope the therapy helps :) :grouphug:

I'm crossing my fingers for you, Bobby. But from your description your new therapist sounds like a good one. It might turn out just right for you. :) Hugs & love to you!

I must be really depressed. I feel so awful. things could be so much worse. I take a bath and wash my hair every other day. On Friday I spoke with my new friend and it sped by. She has really traveled. she worked for her company in Prague for two years. She only spent five years in India when she was born up to 5. She has been all over Europe she spent years in Japan going to school. She has been to other far east countries.
I spoke at length to my second oldest friend for a long time yesterday. I finally asked her daughter sarah was diagnosed with wilms tumor a little before 1. She started having a fever in the morning and lost her appetite. She was given a 98 percent chance of survival but died at 2 1/2. Kathy's died of lung cancer at 56. Kathy had a few melanomas on her leg. Her dermatologist is Michael Jacobs and he is renowned for spotting melanomas so ear;y. His office is in the east 70's.
She and her husband who are almost my age walked an 1 1/2 each way to his office because of a funny looking pimple on her lip. It is malignant and she has to weight a month and a half to have it removed. The surgeon's office is closed til june. eek.
yesterday i cut off a lot of pudge's mats. i think she is more comfortable now. the new electric clipper looks nice. right now i have too much anxiety to use it. i always clipped hammy and morgy with an electric clipper. pudge's front claws need to be clipped before they grow into her pads . robert took her to a friend who could only do her back claws. robert knows somebody else who might be able to groom pudge. because of the times i can't take her where i used to take her for grooming.
i started using my diffuser because my anxiety is so high. i am also throwing out a lot of supplements etc because my stomach is no loner hurting and my place is such a f@#king mess.
I have also been hoarding toilet paper.

Hi, Bobby! :) I'm very glad to hear that your stomach isn't hurting you now! About your anxiety, I recently found "dailyverses for anxiety.net" on the internet. You can read them from the sites & you can look them up in your own Bible, as reinforcement. Even if they don't get rid of your anxiety, they are comforting & uplifting. :grouphug: :hug: :circlelove: Hugs & love to your pets & to you!

thanks so much. will check it out. I was so depressed most of the day but feeling better now.
love and kisses
bobby

Cottage cheese is a great snack for people with diabetes. A half-cup (about 112-gram) serving of small-curd cottage cheese provides several vitamins and minerals, in addition to almost 13 grams of protein and only 4 grams of carbs (39). Interestingly, eating cottage cheese may help manage your blood sugar.Jan 14, 2018.
i am trying to help myself. I didn't wake up depressed. I have two lectures today and Marci is coming.
i got confused about anxiety.net. then i looked up dailyverses and that helped.
Thanks so much!
love and kisses
bobby

I used to eat cottage cheese, it's a good idea for me to eat that again. :)
Thinking of you :hug:
Hugs and love
:Heart:

today was one of my roughest days and the night before. I was really losing it. I was so frustrated. I have been obsessed with death and worry what would happen to my kitties. the depression, irritability and anxiety are so painful and make me feel crazy. My printer hasn't been working but Robert wrote he will come over sometime this weekend and try to fix it. Now my tv isn't working again.This morning a technician will come over again.
I feel so lousy and fat. I am terrified of going outside. Late last night I wrote to one of doctors and didn't know what to do. I think if I caught the virus it would kill me because of my age,diabetes ,etc.
all these pleasant thoughts. rats.right now it feels hopeless. I am frustrated by
eyesight. can you believe i just made a cup of coffee.
marci was here today and was a saint.

Oh Bobby, so sad to hear all this. Thank goodness for your kitties, who surely need you. Too many things not working, all at the same time. I can definitely relate to that, on top of the pandemic! And you ask for so little. It really takes a lot of strength, & somehow we come up with it, thanks especially to this ability to communicate with each other(thank you volunteers who make this possible!). It's going to get better Bobby. We will be so glad we hung in there, & we will be able to talk about it. :) :hug: :circlelove: Huqs & love to you, dear wonderful friend!

dear wonderful friend thank you so much for your positive thoughts. My friend robert is going to try to fix the printer. the cable guy came over and tightened a wire and now tv works again. I feel so weak. Oh after about six tries I got the scale to work and I lost four pounds. hopefully i can lose more of the weight i recently gained..
love and kisses and be safe
bobby

Thank you for the update Bobby! Things are looking up! :) Little by little, we are are getting better. Toodles for now. Hugs & love!

You two are so sweet! I'm glad for a place like this too, with so much positivity. Sorry that I haven't been very cheery lately. My darker side has been coming out in my posts. I'm just sick of things, but deep down I always fight. Bobby, you know about my darkest time and how I got through that. This is a different kind of darkness, not physical health as much as mental heath struggles, but just like before, I will pull through...or at any rate, there is still the light and shiny moments through it all. That keeps me going. Folks here and even the light in my hubby-It's still there and will always be there!

Group hugs!!!

you are too and I hope you post your dark thoughts to help release them. It was neat that on one of your posts said that you cuddled with your husband! I liked that a lot. There is always hope!
fondly
bobby

I just had a session with my male 62 year old therapist. We talked a lot about Judaism and he told me as others have that God wants to be happy and he believes that everything happens for the good, even my explosion or my father's alcoholism etc..
I know I sound crazy but I believe him. He said he is an optimist.

Thanks Bobby! And yes, there certainly is hope! I'll try to remember and share the good times too. :)
And I too believe that there is, in the very least some good in everything that we experience and that we need to remember that good in any event. My Mom always use to tell us in hard times, "It will get better. It has to!" and while I admit I was skeptic about this when younger, as an adult who strives to see the good, I believe she was even wiser than she even realized! :) God bless her! She gives the best hugs! That at least accounts for a big part of feeling better. :) ... although I'm not sure if you'll get hugs from your T. Is it weird if a therapist gives you a hug? My female one did one day. Honestly, I think she needed it more than I did that day, but I didn't really think it was weird...but is it common or professional even??

your mother sounds so great! I am sure therapists have hugged their clients.
fondly
bobby

Hi Bobby! :) I am so glad to hear how your new therapist is! I think you'll be able to talk about most anything with him, & feel comfortable. Much love to your two wonderful kitties & to you!

i hope you are right. He seemed pleasantly surprised. I don't think he realizes how bad my anxiety can be and how it can control me. I sounded happy so he might be surprised how depressed and irritable I can get,
I am sure my kitty cats would love you!
Love and kisses
bobby

awe! i want kitty loves too!! (I am so missing my parents' cats these days)

hugs

I wish you could get two.
fondly
bobby

what a mood swing. I was so happy yesterday talking with the therapist and my oldest friend and this early morning i crashed big time. my stomach ache is back i didn't sleep much. i am in physical and mental pain.

Many hugs Bobby!

Hope you get well soon!

Me too, I hope whatever caused this change goes away. Maybe it's part of your bipolar disorder, & hopefully it's just a temporary phase of it. Bobby, can you use visualization, see your symptoms fading away & you are beginning to feel well again? You float towards something beautiful & you hear Josh Groban's voice
singing one of your favorite songs. You feel weightless, drifting, as if being transported on a soft cloud. A golden light from somewhere glows everywhere around you & then through you, absorbing every kind of pain. The light gradually fades away, leaving behind a subtle feeling that it's still there with you. You drift back to your familiar surroundings
& delight in your feeling of wellness. :) :hug: :circlelove: Hugs & love to you!

Bobby

You are special and we love you. Just remember that.

Keep talking and finding people to.talk too

wow that was so beautiful. I printed it out and also sent it to a friend. I tried it and am still too anxious but will keep on trying it. I just can't get over how beautiful it is. My depression lifted about 6:30 yesterday night. I also found a way to make my printerr work. I don't know but I was able to print out my new lease. I had to have two bottles of magnesium citrate and finally my stomach ache went away. Never had two in the same day.
I bought a couple of translations of Descartes. The one I wanted was too expensive.
Bought three different toothpastes for the gums. At this time now it hurts.
It is definitely my bipolar plus the stress of the virus trump and barr. those two are worse than the virus.
I think it always happens when I get really happy my mood swings and I wind up very depressed.
Last night my friendly visitor called and we spoke for almost an hour. I wound up telling her about going to Lyford Key(sp) in Nassau when I was a senior in high school with my sister and her friend who were college. A guy invited me.
He offered to let us go water skiing. I didn't but my sister tried. It took me a few minutes of non stop laughing to describe how Myra water skied around for a while and didn't fall but couldn't stand up! I just started laughing again at the image. It was hilarious. I didn't get depressed after the phone call.
Love and kisses
bobby
I am spending a lot of money again. I spend all the 1200 dollars we got and hear they are thinking of giving us 2000 a month to help with the recovery. I am salivating.
No, There’s Not A $2, A Month Stimulus Check

Jeff said to tell you that "Betsy" is just as bad.


love to you today.
bizi

lol why--who is betsy? i forot harper's name
love
bobby

betsy is someone on trumps team.


Harper is this new kitties name Is 10 months old and very loving and that
hazel has not accepted her yet, though, today seemed their was fewer hissing today. and there was some chasing involved....she is laying right behind me on the computer chair, she just jumped down.
she is so soft and gentile we may need to get a kitten closer to her age if hazel is not playing with her in another week.
she is a flop kitty.you go to pet her and she is so vulnerable and loves to have her belly gently petted! she is also a lap cat.she is mostly white with a few brown and black calico we wish that hazel

no downton abbey tonight, jeff is still not feeling great, he had too much to drink and texted me to come get him and we would pick up his care later.
love you,
bizi