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03-26-2020, 10:29 AM
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#111 | ||
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Thanks Bizi! I hope I can work it all out. I fear I messed up again last night, oh but I do enjoy my talks with this one friend I see at night. Maybe it will be better though if we can now get more time during the day as we now can do that...but yeah, stayed up till 2am again and...
Rough sleep again. Woke up and was awake for awhile again. Not sure for how long as I didnt check the clock and i did sleep some more...i think...but when hubby alarm went off and he snoozed for an hour, well my cortisol was up and I almost just got out of bed. Then I remembered my headphones as ear buds and now just slept another...2hrs? Gotta get up now though to prep for lunch because I'll be making that early today and a separate dinner to prep too. I just didn't want to eat the same thing twice and this may help me for Friday...also since my televisit with the GP is then. (Oh wish me well for that! I'm a lot nervous actually) That's all for now! |
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03-26-2020, 09:05 PM
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#112 | ||
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Well, I haven't heard from that friend all day...so I don't know how this is gonna go...but as for next month, when I'm on Gmail more, I'll be able to chat there while still working on my writing.
Uhhh, yeah, hubby's peeved that I spend so much time online...that I wake up online and go to bed right after being online. I told him, "what would you rather me do, work and be miserable all day??" I mean, this is my hobby! He still thinks I just waste time on here. Whatever! My appointment is tomorrow and while we will be discussing my moods, I'm going to try to emphasize that hubby contributes a lot to them and that I'm online working on ways to make me feel happier in life! Anyway, not much to report today. I managed to cook two meals so I'm set for lunches for tomorrow afternoon so I can focus on my appointment (at 1pm). Then I had to nap. Hubby's upset that I haven't swept the house all week. I honestly can't remember when I did it last, but I've been hypomanic for cripes sake!! And preparing and arranging for this doctor's appointment. (he just does not comprehend how much I have to juggle with meds and all this stuff). Sigh! |
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03-26-2020, 09:35 PM
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#113 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Hubby is in charge of my meds and now driving has been taken away.
sigh bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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03-27-2020, 10:31 AM
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#115 | ||
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Legendary
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Writing is the pits for sure with pencil and paper. I don't have an idea there.
Keep up the good work. It's been raining here so going walking not much an option. Donna |
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03-27-2020, 01:59 PM
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#116 | ||
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Member
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GP appointment went well. I've a new prescription, gabapentin to support sleep and to be an alternative for the Clonazepam (which was for my anxiety). I didn't sound hypomanic to him even with everything I described. It's fine by me though. That means I get to enjoy these nice feelings and not gain weight on antipsychotics. Obviously this will continue to be monitored, but since I don't seem to be reckless, I seem to be doing fine. I am highly advised to get that strict bedtime though, 12:30-1am is fine, but that will mean I'll need to settle sooner. I also asked about a gas remedy (been burping regularly every night) and was suggested some digest gold from Amazon and/or ACV. Think that's the summary! Oh, and I slept great last night 1amish to 9amish. I feel great! ...ok, I feel good, not "high" like the other day, ahh but the day is still young. lol
 Thanks everyone for reading AND listening and helping me through my journey. Much love! |
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03-28-2020, 12:59 AM
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#117 | ||
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Member
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Just sent this note to my doctor.
"Sigh! Ok, so maybe things aren't as great between me and H as I let on. Later tonight he was a little bummed he couldn't tell you how I've been online a lot still. This is apparently a problem for him, but he doesn't see the whole picture. I mean, I'm working, I'm doing more for my part. This is my down time /my free time. Can't I choose how I spend it? He wanted me to make him a snack tonight because I hadn't made him cookies yet. I was in the middle of cleaning, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. Not that I exactly even had the chance to say no. I was going to do it anyway, but it was interrupting me from finishing my chore and digging into my workout time. It's just that I'm really starting to get this feeling like he truly wants me to be like some Stepford Wife or something, that my happiness comes second to his needs AND wants. I would have confronted him about this, but I wasn't exactly sure I was using the term correctly. Turns out it's exactly how I feel! I wanted to bring this up today originally, that once he even said that "3 hours isn't enough. even 6 hours wouldn't be enough" of me working for him. He doesn't even account for all the times I serve and bring him food and water, make his breakfasts, and obviously the time for cooking ...and the number of other things I'm forgetting about with giving him attention. I try to be as positive and optimistic as possible, but fact is he hurts me by what he says to me on a regular basis. And I was actually kinda hoping that you might encourage us to seek couple's counseling. I'm sure if he gets a chance, he will tell you I'm "internet addicted". I don't think I have a problem, and when I do feel it becoming a problem, I cut back. But the fact is, I don't have much else I enjoy doing...and everything is online these days...and we are in extreme circumstances lately. The damn frustration right now is that I was just getting exciting about this writing camp challenge, but of course I need to type on the computer to count my words more easily (and write faster). I was kinda half joking with my friends that I really need a typewriter. I just don't know what he expects me to do if I can't do all the things I need to do because they require the internet...other than the "stepford wife" stuff, because it's not like he's available or wants to do anything I enjoy with me. I'm just really upset about this. I NEED him off my back about this! Thanks for reading." |
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03-28-2020, 03:06 AM
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#118 | |||
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Member
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I'm so sorry, G! Hugs to you!
 
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03-28-2020, 06:01 AM
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#120 | |||
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Legendary
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can you type a letter to your husband and flatter him and tell him how much you love him and how he has so many wonderful qualities but he is in the dark about suffering from mental illness. Can you tell him it is a real feat to find some happiness in doing something and he should be happy for you. He has no idea of
depression and of mental illnesses bipolar has the most suicides. fondly bobby |
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