Sorry, but more!

The addiction bit-well, sadly, yes, I recognize one such thing. It's kinda like...oh, I don't even want to say. It really is just I want to feel good. It calms me, it helps me put up with life...but it does get time consuming, because it's on the internet and there are always those recommendations and I'm like, "oh I've just GOT to see that!". I do bookmark a lot of things, but sometimes I feel like I need just one more "hit", if that makes sense. What the heck though??!!! I'm not feeling good with real life. I NEED something. :( Else, I get the bad thoughts. The only drawback I have personally, is my eyes. H has the issue of me not doing enough chores.

may I suggest you stay in the kitchen when you are cooking?
and turn off the computer. so it is not open and you are then sucked into being on there too long and burn things.
You can slways set the table wipe down the kitchen do a dish or two, scrub your sink shiny clean. use pine sole , it smells great and then he would know that you have been cleaning. Be present in the moment of your cooking.

I can't be on the computer and cook..
bizi

I agree re cooking, especially if you aren't expert at it (I'm not) its much better to stay away from the computer while cooking. Be in the moment, experience the senses in the moment, and savour the experience (if possible)

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

Thanks for this post! I do have a couple of friends who can be on their ipad sometimes and cook (for me I am not..)

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

From bad to worse. Ok, not really. Just very tired right now.

Yea I have been working on my writing and spending lots of time on the computer between that and everything, and so last night I guess things caught up. I couldn't sleep.

The thing is, my mind was wired from this new endeavor I started. It also turns out, according to my symptoms and what I've read on the matter (as well as what my old therapist and as well as a friend suspects) that I very likely have a bit of ADHD. My particular focus/symptom right now is the distractibility but with the hyperfocus.

That explains a few things.

And I guess it's known to have up and down moods too...but I dunno. I might have a touch of both this and bipolar. (For real, if my therapist suspected ADHD, why didn't they test for that??!...or maybe they did, but my cognitive function was fine enough?? U ghhh. So frustrating!)

Anyway, I've been following the online(?) Apptitude Magazine (wait, is that the name? ) Anyway, there was a very helpful article, one describing these symptoms and another part describing ways to manage this "affliction". One such thing was for the friends and family to do. Touch gently my shoulder if I'm not responding to words. I specifically have told my husband to do this a few times already before this, and he even agreed with the therapist that ADHD sounds like me, and yet he doesn't do these things. He still argues, talks down to me, and the like whenever I'm not doing what he wants/how he wants/ when he wants it. He used to be a pretty patient guy, and still is, I guess, but the years and the fact that I "haven't changed " really, have probably worn him down. I dunno! I feel similarly about him, for the record.

Anyway, so that, oh! And the OCD test came back very high too. I don't obsess over numbers or repeating actions or stuff like that, but I dunno, somehow got a high score there too. Same with the bipolar again (high functioning, is a term I recently came across. I think that might be me)

Whatever it is, I had to get up at a "reasonable" time today, so I really only got like 4.5 hours of sleep. Of course today is when the article about the importance of sleep for ADHD mind comes up, and we already know its importance for bipolar, but like I just have no time for a nap yet!

I REALLY want to win my writing challenge this year, and I'm like pretty much on track all month and am not expecting to have to go anywhere this year cuz of Covid, so it is the perfect time! ... but you know, sleep is so important...but if I don't win this year, I'll be crushed. Like I mean...i dunno. I freaking NEVER really finish anything on time, or just finish things at all (other symptoms),...maybe with the knowledge of my likely disorder, i might be able to forgive myself a little?? Except im struggling, honestly, to be patient with my husband who literally doesn't give a damn about my writing hobby. Ugh!!

Anyway. My minute is up, so I'll chat later. <3

Oh hey pink kitty! And Bizi! Thanks for replying.

The thing is though, I've learned also that with ADHD we can like mulitask...but it's a specific way of multitasking (I forget what it is called or how to explain it). So like it's not really ...


I dunno. Because the other point I mean to make is that I'm ONLY on the device when it is just a matter of waiting out the clock. Like if I just sit there and stare, my mind wonders anyway. I have to keep busy! My mind will wander off and stress over all the things that need to get done, when I could just be doing it in that time. And again, for the record, 98% of the time, I do fine with this.

gee

I wanted to answer some of your questions. First I'm guessing a lot
of the reason your ADD wasn't caught is the same reason most
girls/women aren't. Its because you as a child weren't hyperactive.
I think some of the things you are doing right now are really good
for the way to handle ADD. I would suggest maybe going to the
library or calling the library and asking if they have the ADD book
for adults. I'm sorry I don't now its name.

Look into it. It can explain things to you some. Also talk to your
doctor about the medications for add, and see if they would recommend
one for you.

I think that would be a good start to learn more also.

Donna

classic bipolar mania symptoms. Obsessions and compulsions can be both OCD and bipolar you must sleep.
It has been stated before to not be on the computer or phone for at least an hour before bed time. It is too stimulating when you need to wind down and go to sleep. It is part of sleep hygiene.
thanks for checking in.
bizi
hugs
(((((((((HUGS)))))))))

glove, do you ever post on here again?
bizi
wondering how you are doing?

Hi!


Kinda struggling with the logistics of getting on here and posting before I'm timed out...

But I do think about this place and you all! Wish I could just send my thoughts as quickly as they appear...or maybe not THAT quickly cuz that will flood this place. Heheh

Wrote out a lengthy post offline, but I don't have that at the moment, plus I was second guessing things-thinking it too long, but also still not enough.

I think another thing of it is, I don't want to think about my problems, because then I just waste time worrying, and frankly, I don't have a lot of time to do that. So I just seek out what's most quickly gratifying.

See? I'm rambling, have no idea if any of this makes sense, concerned I might be insensitive...I'm all in my head when I actually do get a chance to stop by. So...that's kinda what I meant by "logistics". I tend to think best at the desktop and over my emails...neither of which I can do right now.

I'll try to stop by more often and just post SOMETHING. But I just fear wasting people's time and my own by saying rubbish. And saying im "fine" or "okay" never seems enough for me.

Like yea, I am kinda whining right now, but it's not the people here, it's my stress, anxiety, self doubt.

Rambling again, and still I haven't said a single concrete thing about my life! 😅