I just wanted to say hi, Bobby, & I hope you will feel better soon. :hug: :circlelove: Hugs & love to you!

Sounds like wrong therapist then.

I hope things start looking up soon

Donna

i guess i better tell the therapist that.
fondly
bobby

I am sorry she is not working out for you bobby.
I am too chicken to say good bye so I just stop making appointments, I know lame.
bizi

it is a he and he is an optimist. i just worry about everything and he has repeatedly told me that practically all things work out. the buspar hasn't helped the worrying. It makes me more tired and I have more difficulty in concentrating. Now I can think of Suri without pain but peace. I am so terrified of the virus and trump and the post office it is just making my ibs worse. Last night I tried magnesium o and it might have worked. I still have a lot of gas. I am still spending too much money. I have seen a few cockroaches which I haven't seen in so many years. the building's exterminator is coming on thursday. at first I was afraid to tell them. yesterday I threw out a lot of paper and didn't have the energy to shred.
I have lost a few pounds because most foods don't feel appetizing.
love
bobby

opps!
I hope you can have a good sunday.

I need to get going still in my jammies,
second cup of coffee. chores to do today. laundry, paper work creating new files a tedious job. That means I am getting new clients. and I have to buy a new empty bottle to put soap in the foaming soap dispenser is not working out.
I have a lot of those foaming soaps that were part of a spending spree. they are only a dollar a piece at the dollar tree. I will go to drug emporium today to see if I can get the kind I like. get more bottles of polish almost out of the light shades that most like.
again,
I hope you have a nice day!!!

love,
bizi

i am going back to bed. i did scan my lease in my computer and made several copies.
love
bobby

I hope you had a nice nap.
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

i did. now trying to read. took a lot of books off my bed.
love
bobby

right now I am I am reading 4 books. I like them all. I don't seem to be so gassy..
that is a big relief. I take ginger and peppermint supplements and tea and lemon juice and baking soda. I just ordered more probiotics that got great reviews. My apartment is so nice and cool. My sleep is pathetic and I am tired most of the time. Last night Pudge didn't sleep on the bed. Early this morning Abby came over.
I am going to try to make a deal with myself. When my anxiety gets high because of the virus or trump, I will remind myself that it is God's will and I have faith in God.

i think napoleon complex is wrong. he was 5 foot six and that was the average height of men then so he really wasn't short.
the mongolians finished the great wall of china.

Bobby

I just blame everything on Trump. It makes me feel better. It makes my
husband mad. And that makes it even better. Heehee.

He likes or did Trump. But I don't I want someone else for president.

Down with this guy In with the new. I don't mean to make any one
that likes him mad but my husband though.

Donna :grouphug::grouphug:

that is so funny! I just got off the phone with a Rabbi and told her I read that is i wrong to feel anger. She read me a Psalm which starts with anger and evil people and then just talks about God. I screwed what Psalm it was because I wanted to read it again and again. I am going to look up Psalms and anger.
fondly
bobby

i think it was this one
According to him Psalm 109 is a psalm of revenge. The psalm is to be read for three days with the name El (God) in order to bring God's revenge on the wicked enemies.

Psalm 37[a]
Of David.
1 Do not fret because of those who are evil
or be envious of those who do wrong;
2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
9 For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

10 A little while, and the wicked will be no more;
though you look for them, they will not be found.
11 But the meek will inherit the land
and enjoy peace and prosperity.

12 The wicked plot against the righteous
and gnash their teeth at them;
13 but the Lord laughs at the wicked,
for he knows their day is coming.

14 The wicked draw the sword
and bend the bow
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slay those whose ways are upright.
15 But their swords will pierce their own hearts,
and their bows will be broken.

16 Better the little that the righteous have
than the wealth of many wicked;
17 for the power of the wicked will be broken,
but the Lord upholds the righteous.

18 The blameless spend their days under the Lord’s care,
and their inheritance will endure forever.
19 In times of disaster they will not wither;
in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.

20 But the wicked will perish:
Though the Lord’s enemies are like the flowers of the field,
they will be consumed, they will go up in smoke.

21 The wicked borrow and do not repay,
but the righteous give generously;
22 those the Lord blesses will inherit the land,
but those he curses will be destroyed.

23 The Lord makes firm the steps
of the one who delights in him;
24 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
for the Lord upholds him with his hand.

25 I was young and now I am old,
yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken
or their children begging bread.
26 They are always generous and lend freely;
their children will be a blessing.[b]

27 Turn from evil and do good;
then you will dwell in the land forever.
28 For the Lord loves the just
and will not forsake his faithful ones.

Wrongdoers will be completely destroyed[c];
the offspring of the wicked will perish.
29 The righteous will inherit the land
and dwell in it forever.

30 The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom,
and their tongues speak what is just.
31 The law of their God is in their hearts;
their feet do not slip.

32 The wicked lie in wait for the righteous,
intent on putting them to death;
33 but the Lord will not leave them in the power of the wicked
or let them be condemned when brought to trial.

34 Hope in the Lord
and keep his way.
He will exalt you to inherit the land;
when the wicked are destroyed, you will see it.

35 I have seen a wicked and ruthless man
flourishing like a luxuriant native tree,
36 but he soon passed away and was no more;
though I looked for him, he could not be found.

37 Consider the blameless, observe the upright;
a future awaits those who seek peace.[d]
38 But all sinners will be destroyed;
there will be no future[e] for the wicked.

39 The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.
40 The Lord helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.

Footnotes

Did you type all of this?
or just copied and pasted it?
I am glad that you have your faith

and that it seems to help you cope.
love you
bizi

i copied and pasted it. I think I realize I really need God's help. Everything seems to be getting harder. I just freaked. Chewy declined my order and I checked Paypal but it was okay so I called Chewy and she entered the order again and it went through. This month's credit card is going to be so awful.
I also have flies and don't know how I got them except for the workman who h briefly opened the terrace door a few times. I just wasted 6 dollars for flies and read on the package that you can only be in the room for four hours. rats. My new phone came. The numbers on the other new phone were too small so that was a waste of 15 dollars. Robert threw out my old phone that actually worked so I didn't have to spend 30 dollars on the new phone. double rats.
pudge didn't sleep with me again. she was back on the computer chair which she seems to love.
I am worried about the storm and hope my terrace doesn't flood again. The building just spent 931 dollars on the rugs after the recent flood.. My computer and phone didn't work for two days.
One of my volunteers didn't call last night. I was so disappointed. I hope he calls on Wednesday. He is so fascinating.and nice.
i guess i will take a bath now. the antidepressant just kicked in.
love
bobby
'

i am afraid of another flood and loss of power so i cancelled my doctor's appt to next thursday at 10;30

i got a call from dorot and rachel said they were going to start having social work interns in september. i told her i was very interested.

Bobby

I wish you had waited till closer till Thursday to cancel your appointment
with your psychiatrist. I don't know if you can do that or not.

I wonder if you can talk to the secretary and let them know about the
flooding and no electricity problem is why.

Donna :grouphug::hug::grouphug:

i let her know and he charges 75 dollars if you miss. one more week won't matter and he wrote me instructions how to get off buspar.
fondly
bobby

That is good bobby, glad that you are trying to take care of yourself.
Did you get a bath, I finally took a shower and washed my hair.
Don't really know why I don't like them.......
have a great day and try to distract your self from your worries, I know that seems very difficult. I hope you still like reading?
love bizi

i took my bath and finally was able to read. i snapped at marcia. rats
love
bobby

Hi, Bobby! :) I hope you get that call from your volunteer, & that you don't get flooded. Did you know today is U.S. Coast Guard Day? To celebrate, Mother Nature should give them all the extra water, so the storms can't flood anything. And you can cuddle up with a good book, all nice & dry, & listen to Josh Groban music. :boy(music): God bless you Bobby! And your kitties! :hug: :circlelove: Hugs & love to you!

you say the sweetest things!

you certainly do. we were fine here. my friend lives in westchester and lost power but a few years ago she bought a generator which took care of practically everything.she lost her landline but of course has a cell. branches came down but not near house.
marcy said that she would go with me to a doctor's appointment the beginning of sept. what a relief .there is a lot of walking and i am not sure i can do it without support besides my cane.
love and kisses
bobby
i kidnapped pudge tonite. lately she loves the computer chair and not the bed.

Bobby

I forgot about the 75 dollars. Sorry.


And I'm glad you got your bath.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

i take a bath and wash my hair practically every morning. my volunteer didn't call. i guess he has gotten too busy. i will miss him
fondly
bobby

And this pandemic wears down everybody & the best of people end up breaking promises they can't keep, & may feel bad & sad about it. Maybe that goes on with some of the people you care about, Bobby? Anyway, I hope your favorite people can find a way to connect with you more often. God bless you & the kitties! :hug: :Heart: :circlelove: Lots of love, WL

(((((HUGS))))))
kidnapping!!!!!how scandalous!:eek:
bizi

Bobby

Its also possible he just didn't get a chance to call you that day.

Just wait and see what happens

Remember not always the best of plans stay the way planned.:grouphug:

Donna :hug::grouphug:

last night she came of her own accord to lie down next to me.
love
bobby

aaron just started a new job. he usually runs an hour at night. he still might be helping his interns. it just maybe too much for him. i really looked forward to talking to him and asking him philosophical or historical question. like i wanted to ask him if napoleon's attempted invasion into russia was a huge blunder or just bad luck. it was supposedly the beginning of the end.
love and kisses
bobby

thank you Donna. i don't think he will call on friday. i have never told him how lonely i am.
fondly
bobby

i just looked at my email and i heard from him!

I apologize for not being able to call today! Onboarding stuff with my new job has been taking up a lot of time. Things will hopefully be settled by the end of the week, however.

he sent me something to read about kant. i am SO HAPPY.

I am glad I communicated with you!
bizi

this is really terrible. I have only left my apartment three times since the virus and I am so terrified of going out besides my trouble walking. Just a little while ago my ac said to check the filter and my anxiety went through the roof. Then Bobby came up and cleaned the filter which I didn't know was permanent. I don't know what to do about my fear.

The elderly if I can call you that ,are having so much depression being so isolated.
I feel sorry for you and call feel sympathy for you.
love you
bizi

Bobby

I'm so glad you got an email. If not a call maybe he will start sending you
emails for a while. I know its not the same. But it might be a good second.

Hopefully you can start taking small walks with Marcie. That is what I'd do.

I've been trying to go out once a day. That way I can get a pop and things.

I also go to dollar general at least once a week.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

you are right. i have to read slowly the article by kant. my printer stopped working. robert is coming over later to see if he can figure out what is wrong.
for the time in ages i didn't wake up depressed.. also lately since i stopped mourning for suri my stomach has been feeling better. it was really bothering me for half a year.
my other volunteer didn't call last night. we switched times to thursdays so maybe she forgot.
i really gave my therapist a hard time yesterday. i was depressed and irritable. he doesn't think he should have to address my bipolar and thinks medicine should take care of that.ha . he wants me to try his agency's psychiatrist but even though it wouldn't cost me money and she is sweet, i really like mine

there was a power outage on the upper east. everything just turned off.i didn't freak out. when i was finally
able to reach the doorman, he told me. i almost called 911.

Bobby

I don't know if your electric company has an alert like ours does.
So that if the electric goes off you get a message.

Or maybe your doorman could find a way to alert you, I realize you :grouphug:
have more than one. But maybe they could put something up.

Since you don't have another way of finding out.
Donn a:grouphug:

if all the power was out on the upper east side and west side how would they notify us? It was very early in the morning so I think most of the people here were asleep. My doorman couldn't reach me even if he tried because my phone wasn't working because of the electricity.
i went back to take a nap and now i am very depressed. i also think i do need to listen to more news because i am so lonely i need to hear people talking.
fondly
bobby