i took my first shower in years. after taking the fall in the bathtub I was too scared.
I don't know if I am manic or what. I spend a lot of time looking for stocks but I had told myself I was only going to buy a few. ha ha.
today thank goodness I don't see one I want. I really like silver is up. I talked myself out of buying a stock that had a 20 percent yield. oops I did see one I wanted but pray I don;'t buy it.

my money is in mutual funds, I let the big folks manage day to day dealings.
bizi

that is the smart thing to do.
love
bobby
I am getting the gabapentin tomorrow.

Bobby

the gabapentin will take some time to work. So take the time.

Also my bonds or whatever are in a fund that doesn't lose anything
it will gain at the 3 month time I can't remember what they called
this kind of fund but I liked it. So its were I put it.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

i am really uptight. I am afraid the dentist will say I need a lot of work.

I am sorry that you did not make it to the dentist.
(((((HUGS))))))
love bizi

I am sort of relieved I didn't make it to the dentist. emotionally I am not prepared for hearing any more bad news. I buy special toothpaste for gum problems. I don't think they are bleeding any more. I also have two mouth washes for gums. I brush for 3 minutes. I was going every three months for a cleaning which cost 125 dollars twice and one with the dentist after cleaning for 200. it really adds up. i haven't gone since the virus.
for a while now my anxiety is through the roof but my depression is okay. i am swearing a lot but i think that is irritability.
the agency lied to Marci my aid and I got paranoid. She didn't show up on tuesday and I called the agency after an hour and was told she wasn't coming because somebody was coming in wednesday to take me to the dentist. they lied to marci and said twice I didn;t want her because I had an appt. with the dentist. f@#k them.
I will tell my caseworker today.
that benedryl didn't help my sleeping. bipolar is a nightmare, I refuse to get on the scale.
I sold another stock because I read there was a lawsuit against them..rats.
i might buy another stock that is undervalued and pays a good dividend.
aaron is going back to wisconsin for the holidays and won't be back until after the first. that will probably be the end of the calls which lasted over 6 months twice a week. they were only supposed to last for a month. aleya is going to meet her parents and brother in barain since they think it will safer than india because of the virus.
love
bobby
my caseworker is getting me an occupational therapist and sessions over the phone. boy do i feel nits.

I also would be upset with them about Marci. I think your caseworker
needs to talk to them about how much you can have help.

That Marci can come her usual days, and then you can have help with
doctor's appointments. But that honestly might need to be ordered
by your doctor I don't know. But after the porter and the assistant
both saw what happened yesterday that should be no real problem.

So please have them both talk to your caseworker and doctor if necessary.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

I am going to call her now.
fondly
bobby

I am going to be able to write Marci a check and she can cash it at my bank. I can't walk there.
Management does not want me to have the bathroom bar installed for safety and suing reasons. I left a message with the manager and hopefully he will call me back.
The stocks I bought are not doing well but I bought them for long term instead of trading. I didn't invest much money.
My caseworker will call the woman who lied and she has me on the list for more aides. she said she will ask for a gentle and kind person.

I am glad that she is going to get someone kind and gentle.


I wish they all were.....
love bizi

i don't know how long i have to wait. i just watched the debate. i have a bad stomach ache.
love
bobby

i am not accepting the wheel chair and returning the bath bar etc. my stomach is fine now. i am going to keep on taking vraylar.
i just have to do nothing and the body will heal. it feels better.

dear bobbby,

I am sorry that I disagree with you.
You need to keep moving getting up and work those thigh muscles by getting up. if you do nothing you may run into problems quickly our muscles atrophy quickly.
you know the old saying" if you don't use it you lose it."
much love to you this morning.
bizi

i ride my bike about 5 minutes and i go over and play with the cats. it is just that I am very weak. this morning I went down stairs and returned some packages. also my lousy sleep habits don't help. I am so very tired.
love
bobby
i forgot if i mentioned i couldn't get in the cab because I spent 1/2 hour trying to make the bed and exhausted myself and legs

I dared to take a bath. I wore my underwear lol. i brought my phone. i had such a hard time getting out. i am still so anxious.
i figured out how to get rid of annoying ads that keep on popping up. on my computer my neck still feels funny.
what a complainer. oh i am going to get free meals once a week for at least 2 months

Good Bobby, about your case manager.

If the building manager doesn't want you to have the bar. I'd ask if they
would be willing to write a note for you so that you can maybe get
more help for the bath and shower. I think you might could.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

i was extremely careful and had underwear on in case i couldn't and would have to call somebody from downstairs. there is a waitting list so my caseworker get exxtra help right.
fondly
bobby

good going!!!!!! You were able to take a bath and get out, glad that you brought your phone with you, it literally be a life saver. so glad that you have one.
yes for the free meals coming for 2 months how did that happen?
love bizi

it was a Jewish organization. they gave me too much food. didn't eat half of it but feeling so stuffed.
love'bobby
had a great conversation with aaron

oh well I am depressed, exhausted and feel weak. I can't concentrate to read.
I am just listening to cat stevens.. I so badly want to cry. I am getting physically better.I don't know wjhy I feel been feeling exhausted.
II freaked about robert. I emailed him to see if danny needed more meat and chewies. I emailed him again and he didn't answer. finally I called and the phone rang and then disconnected. then I really freaked and called again. this time he answered and asked why I hung up. I told him what happened. Anyways he fell on a slippery step but is able to walk 10 blocks. He is coming over for the goodies. I will also give him20 of those pain p-atches.
This morning I gave Jose, one of the doorman 20 dollars for being so kind to me.

Bobby

Can you save the food you don't eat for another day or time. I don't know
but that might be good if you can microwave and warm it up.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

that is what I did with the soup. The chicken(half a chicken which delicious because it was kosher and huge I ate today through the day. The soup filled two bowls-vegetable soup. I have more vegetables that I don't know whether it is more soup or two containers of minced vegetables. They also gave me a loaf of challah which was delicious and which demolished in two days. Of course I ate the delicious cookies the first night.
Robert came over and picked up treats for Danny with meat. There were a lot of treats. He has such a good voice so I finally complimented him on it. He seemed very pleased. He is in moaning for his only brother who he had a wonderful relationship. He said they spoke often until he was suffering too much. He said his brother's son would have to threaten him to talk to him towards the end by saying he would call the sheriff. Then he would call. His brother lived on a ranch in Arizona.
Robert made me turn on the air conditioner. I protested because of the money. I left it on and it felt so good. He said my apartment is too hot and I don't feel it because I hardly move which creates poor circulation.
Fondly
Bobby who got up even earlier.

i just spent ten minutes on bike. i have to do it every day. i can hardly walk. it is getting me so down. it is making me feel so old.

good job bobby!
love bizi

stand up, sit down, stand up, sit down.....rinse and repeat.
bizi:hug:

Bizi

Is correct just keep doing that. Stand up sit down. Every hour also.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I need to support myself to do that. I can't lift myself out of a chair. I have to hold onto a table or desk.
what do you mean about rinse?
I fell hard on practically everything and even my knees hurt and I still have ten black and blues on my back besides on my legs.
i tried to bike again but lasted only two minutes.
love
bobby

I wrote once that I read a bad fall and being elderly can take a year to heal

bobby, rinse and repeat meant keep trying to get up then down on the chair to exercise your thigh muscles so that you can keep getting up and down.
love bizi

i can't do it. i can only bike. now after doing that i am having more trouble walkimg. it is going to take a long time.
love
bobby

i woke up at three again and played with Pudge and then Abby came over so I played with her. Then I had the bright idea of trying to force myself to go back to bed. I got almost two more hours sleep. Hooray.
I rode the bike for six minutes.

I just called Linda, the woman from Dorot again to thank her for the Sabbat meal and told her it lasted all weekend. i told her i never had tsimmis before. my mother never made it and i had to figure out what it was. i ate it cold but should find if i should eat it warm. my home wasn't particularly Jewish so i really don't identify. i didn't tell her that. my rabbi was a pompous jerk..there were hardly any Jews in my school after elementary school. i never identified with being Jewish but always believed in God,

Are tzimmes served hot or cold? Tzimmes are typically served warm. Traditionally, this root veggie dish is served on Jewish holidays like Rosh Hashanah and Passover—but is great to make all year round.

Bobby

Can you work to get up and sit down after walking around the room.
Say to go to the bathroom, brush your hair, I don't know exactly what
but set a routine. Say every hour so you at least get a chance to get
up and get back down each hour.

This will help too. I would even say before getting on the bike to
go sit down for a couple of minutes. And get up and then go ride
your bike and then go sit back down.

Things like this. Set up a routine so you are still working those muscles.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

I do get up a lot and either play with the kitty cats, or the internet or try to straighten up a little in my apartment. I know I have to go very slow. I also get up a lot to make coffee lol
thanks so much
fondly
bobby

amazon is the greatest-their staff is so compassionate.

Bobby

Then when you do this just make sure you work to stand up the
way Bizi told you. This will count. Its not exactly the same but
its close enough. If you could stand then sit and stand again.
It would be better, but it will work.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

i am not able to do it. i will rely on the bike. i still have a lot of pain also.
fondly
bobby

I am sorry you are in so much pain. Are the bruises going away?
bizi:hug:

I am in mental pain and so very scared.
the bruises are still there but they are fainter. at least that is what Marci says since they are on my back, especially my lower back.
I am so out of control. When I talk to people they don't know what is going on in my head. I appear normal and appropriate. Inside there is so very turmoil and fear.. I don't walk that much because it still hurts at times. Right now I am dreading going down to the mailroom to see if the rent check is there. I don't know if I will hurt or not. The cane or walker definitely helps. I had trouble walking after I had the stroke. I seem to have all these little expenses that add up. Like I had to pay Chase 8 dollars to have Marci cash the check since I needed money. I have to constantly tip the workmen in the building to bring up food deliveries etc. I can't carry much weight. I have been buying stuff to try to help the pain.
Now my stomach is beginning to act up again. I am overeating.
love
bobby just terrified.