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-   -   a little under control-little by little (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/256668-little-control-little-little.html)

bizi 10-30-2021 10:48 AM

congratulations on your a1c!!!!!This is a big deal!!!!!!!!!
yay!!!
love, bizi

mymorgy 10-31-2021 09:00 AM

i am so out of control. my nose is no longer itchy. I am just going to have chicken noodle soup. yesterday i had so much coffee. My stomach ached all night and still does. i wanted to order ice cream, english muffins and hot dogs but i didn't. at least there was some control. i took malox a couple of times. I am so sure it is IBS flaring up. I am so stressed out. I got furious at the social worker intern for bringing up the roach problem. that really triggered me. I guess I better tell her. I can't stand them and I have roach motels and boric all over the place, the building's exterminator made it much worse. He only put down two of his traps which sucked and stupidly I let him do that for a few months which gave the roaches so much time to multiply.

I am also ticked off by inflation. All the food I buy has gone up. Some prices are out of touch with reality. I wonder how Powell's reality testing is. At least I think think laws are going to me made so the higher ups can't do as much insider trading. That has been getting me so stressed who said life is fair.
I used to be great in math. After my stroke I am now bad and that is further driving me more crazy.
I lost another two or three pounds.
love
bobby who hardly slept and just listened to music.

bizi 10-31-2021 11:00 AM

Sorry about the bugs.
That would freak me out too.
sorry that you can't sleep that is bad for your overall health.
Please don't drink so much coffee. It is a stimulant.
my finger nail are so long I need to cut them,
They interfere with your brain, and can be a source anxiety stimulate.
Happy halloween! Jeff is decorating like usual saying this will be
his last year to take a break.He has been saying this for a few years now but I think he will take a break. We carved pumpkins last night.

That was hard to do and I got all sticky., I could not get off the floor
as I was all sticky and slippery. So I asked jeff if he could get me some paper towels to dry my hands. I dried them off and got up.
That was the first time I ever got stuck on the fkoor with gooey hands.
Every year it gets harder.
go to go and finish my hair.a nd go to brunch.
bizi

mymorgy 10-31-2021 12:17 PM

how is your anxiety now? i hope it has lessened. I sometimes drink chamomille tea but i don't think it helps. I have tried kava kava. When i drank it in Fiji it really worked. It was funny to go to a party there and see the men nod off from drinking it. Here i don't think the supplements work.
I bet Jeff will continue doing it even though it is hard.
love
bobby

I didn't know that about long nails. weird. i had two cups of coffee and that is it for today. I am so addicted to it. I just took some ginger supplements. my stomach still hurts.I haven't eaten yet and scared to.

mymorgy 10-31-2021 01:36 PM

i just called a pet friendly exterminator. they charge from 350 to over 400

mymorgy 11-01-2021 12:08 AM

i called another one and they said between one and two hundred .I will check them out.
i can't fall asleep. at least my stomach doesn't hurt. I am filled with so much anger and also terrified about my next test to see if the carataid artery (sp) isn't blocked again. I can't handle bipolar with old age.

mymorgy 11-01-2021 05:57 AM

I am calling my caseworker this morning and ask her what she thinks of hiring an exterminator. The building is supposed to supply one but I used him for a few months and he was worthless except the growing population of roaches. I think the building should pay for a good one but since I am one of the few renters left, they would love to see me leave and since I am paranoid maybe they could use the roaches as an excuse to evict me. Marci comes in twice a week to clean. I would be unable to go to court because I have such a hard time walking.
I am just worried all over the place. I had my single cup of coffee and won't have anymore. I slept three hours and dreamt of a huge roach and then had a recurring dream of chemicals to help my stomach which hurt as soon as I got up. Now I am so defensive. such a miserable life. the golden years ha.
did finish an enjoyable book early this morning. I guess my kitties, reading and listening to music I love I guess add a little gold.

mymorgy 11-01-2021 10:02 AM

today i talked to the pastoral intern and she helped so very much with my anger and being afraid of possible pettiness. Now I have to think about it a lot and I think it removes a big burden. I don't want to go against God. She helped me where my therapists couldn't.
I called my caseworker and left a message. I just called my senator's office for advice. She has such kind and sharp people working for her. Arty said he would get back to me in an hour or two to find out if it is legal to hire my own exterminator. I hadn't even thought of that. He was leaning towards asking the building to pay for another external exterminator since the exterminator they use made the situation worse. I don't want to stir up trouble even though it is the law for them to take care of roaches.

Dmom3005 11-01-2021 12:38 PM

I think you are doing a good job keeping on the building about the
issues. Keep up with that.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

bizi 11-01-2021 11:30 PM

good for you for limiting your coffee!!!!
You may get a bit of a headache from cutting the caffeine so low.
so sorry about the bugs, I hate them we get them on occasion they live in the big oak trees, the cats usually keep them at bay.
one bit jeff in bed one night. yikes I did not know they can bite!
I had one fly at me that was terrifying.
take care of yourself.
love bizi


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