i am happy for him because he is no longer suffering and he inspired so many people. i guess i am acquainted with a lot of death. a friend was hit by a car when she was riding her bike. i saw her lying in the road. she was only ten. a very close friend who was an angel died of leukemia at 30. i took that so bad. i still haven't recovered from suri's death.
i have loved all my animals so passionately and have such incredible memories of all of them. i really do prefer animals to people and blue collar workers to white collar ones. aby and i were head bumping this morning. pudge joined me earlier. just priceless.
fondly,
bobby

finally feel good after months of misery. went to bed at 6 p.m. feeling so horribly mentally and physically and woke up at 1 a.m. and felt great. I am not making progress with my p.t. and don't know what is happening. right now don't really care if i can hardly walk.
i hope this great mood lasts and i will cut down on spending. my credit card was outrageous but i didn't freak. 500 was from medical costs.
I did buy another velvet tunic with sparkly stuff which i will never wear outside. it was love at first sight.
Finally my stocks did better.

I hope the good feelings continued today.
What's happening with the physical therapy bobby? Is it just not helping or are you having problems doing the exercises or work required for other reasons? Pain or something else.

hi,
yesterday i was having pain when i was walking in the hall so i stopped. today i walked and didn't have pain. i do have ibs. i took a little nap after i ate and sure enough woke up with my stomach bothering me. even though i shouldn't am going to have coffee. then i will have tea. i am also taking maalox and peppermint capsules and will drink a lot of water.
i am almost finished rereading a book i have been reading all day by pauline miller-so entertaining. as i am reading i am remembering all of it.
found out that eggs stay good long after expiration date.
fondly,
bobby


Egg cartons often have a date printed on them, such as a “best before” or “sell by” date. ... But if you store them properly, eggs can actually last far beyond their expiration date and still be safe to eat. So the short answer is yes, it can be safe to eat expired eggs.

I've been a hen keeper for some years now. Sadly I lost the last two earlier in the year in a very traumatic incident. Anyway, the best way to keep eggs that are freshly laid is not to wash them. They have a natural covering on them after being laid that is called a bloom. Always wash before using in case of contamination. Our climate here doesn't really allow for leaving eggs out of the 'fridge. I personally wouldn't eat eggs left too long because they won't taste as good or work as well in recipes. I don't eat eggs at all anymore. Poor hens. What their bodies go through every cycle/day to lay a little egg is beyond belief.

Sorry for the rambling. I so miss our chickies. :(

i am so sorry. is that why you no longer eat eggs? i wonder how many you had and what other precious animals you had.Thanks for the first hand information.
fondly.
bobby

These last two were very beautiful. They were especially bred so that they were resistant to a particular disease that chickens get in the area where I used to live in northern New South Wales. They were Laced Wyandotte crossed with Black Australorp. The Wyandottes are the very pretty American birds. Their feathers are speckled and look very delicate. They were first bred in NY State of all places. The Australorp is a very handsome black chicken from Australia. Very pretty birds and they were tame so they'd come and sit on your lap. Birds are very intelligent creatures. More than I ever realized.

These were the last two of only 6 that we had. No rooster. We brought them with us over 1000 miles north to where we are now. Eggs are very nutritious but I just can't force myself to eat them anymore unfortunately. I would if I could because they're high in choline and we all need that in our diets.

Unfortunately some breeds have a very short life span because they've been bred to lay copious numbers of eggs per year. The Wyandotte/Australorp, apart from being immune to certain chicken disease tended not to lay as many eggs and for the health of a chicken that's a good thing.

Sorry.. on a ramble again. :o

Australorp Chickens: Everything You Need To Know - that is a lot of eggs and so beautiful.
wyandottes - Google Search
that is really fascinating and must have been delightful. at one time i had 14 birds, mostly parakeets but rescued two starlings and two mourning doves. the mourning doves and sammy, the starling lived for 14 years. boy did i love sammy. i rescued a yellow female parakeet who for the longest time didn't seem nice. then one of my parakeets got sick and she covered him with her wings and nursed him back to health. later she had eggs and stayed on them but none of the others fed her so after a while she died. i felt helpless. i also had a macaw for three years, my dead brother-in-law tricked me but finally was able to a great home for him. f@# bother-in-law
fondly,
bobby

You really have done some fascinating things in your life. I love hearing about them. Thanks. Goodnight. Sunday done here. Hope you all have a good Sunday too.

i also had a cockatiel but he didn't live long. a lot of my birds died when there was construction on my terrace and the rest od the building. i blame that.
I called my other starling little jude who i also adored. each morning he would sing so cheerfully that i would light up. such a sweetie pie. i would quickly hand feed him. sammy also was a great mimic and would sing too and make a lot of different sounds.
Little Jude only lived a year and strangely the same day my mother had died a few years earlier. I was told by an Indian woman they had a belief when a parent didn't get the affection from their child the would come down to earth to receive it. my mother and i were estranged. when i was very young she assigned me as caretaker for my father when he was drunk. After 11 she wasn't nice to me and she never nurtured me. She treated my dead older sister always well especially when myra had 3 boys.
I bet your life was much more exciting than mine. manhattan is just a concrete city and that is where i have spent most of my life. I wonder what it is like to live near crocodiles and to have seen so much countryside and to have done yoga, mediation and more. wow.
I must tell you of my deep souled kitty name snowball. I adopted him when he was a few months old. I told Joyce i didn't like Persians, especially those with flat faces. She told me she had just the kitty. he was a white persian. he looked as if he had run into a wall. he had a fang. he also had a crooked nose. he was just so homely I thought nobody would adopt so I adopted him. within 3 weeks he had a prolapsed colon and I brought him back to Joyce. I didn't have much money. She told me to take him to the animal center and she would pay. it turned out to be 1200 dollars. She said we couldn't let him die. I would call her constantly crying hysterically because he wouldn't eat or poop.. She kept on saying that I couldn't let him die. he was only a pound. finally he recovered but then had two more. my vet tried a purse string but i heard a pop and it came out again. then my vet did major surgery and Snowy recovered very quickly. The vet jokingly said it rarely happened but i saw three. He did have a bad case of feline herpes. he started growing and became three pounds and he no longer had a crooked nose because now there was enough for it and i liked the fang. he slept me every night. At the time I had two littermate mini schnauzers. Morgy beat bone cancer but his heart gave out. he was almost 14. snowy was sleeping and didn't see me take Morgy's body to the vet. For a month he would go to the terrace window and wait for Morgy. he had never gone to the window before. then hammy started having renal failure. snowy stated rubbing against him often to make him feel better, they would even head bump. snowy had the deepest soul. I found him dead on the floor when he was about ten. I never loved any of my precious animals more even though i felt Morgy was the center of my universe.
fondly,
bobby who was blessed
Pudge and Aby are incredible.

wanted to let you know that I read this. Will write more later have a good day bobby.
love bizi

i wonder if i start thinking of snowball when i am depressed and have the depression go away.
love,
bobby

Wow, you've had so many dogs and cats and birds. That's incredible. They were all so fortunate that you cared for them so much.I am sorry though that you had such a traumatic time with your family. That's very sad bobby.

I don't know if my life has been all that exciting, but I am happy that I've seen a lot of places. I had way too much loss and sadness in my childhood and young adult years and I think that contributed to my need to always be on the move. I can never settle although I'd rather like to find the perfect place and settle now. Thing is, I think that there is no "perfect" place unless we are at peace with the world and happy and healthy. :hug:

dear bobby,
do what ever you think to comfort yourself.
If you have a picture of snowball then get

that and think of the happy times together.
then go to your cats and love on them.
say a prayer for snowball who has passed

the rain bow bridge where all animals go

when it their time to go.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I am so sorry about your too much loss and sadness in your childhood and your young adult years. I am so happy you have a wonderful daughter. where did you go? i was in Fiji for a few month when they had the coup. i was with fijian friends.
Do you think you can really get over early childhood trauma? I was a psychologist and have no idea how to get rid of that pain. I have never been angry at God. How can you be at peace with this world now? Maybe it is much better where you are. this country is now a disaster-so many evil people.. i will pray that you will be happy and heathy. you deserve to be.
fondly,
bobby

i have a couple of pictures some where of Snowy. guess what- either i also go rainbow bridge and be with them or pray where there is only one heaven where we all will go when it is our time and be with them. how wonderful that would be. I always see hammy running around and morgy resting on his back waiting for me. do i sound crazy lol i do hope i don't run into my immediate except my father.
love
bobby

Thanks very much. My Mother and Father died when I was young so it changed my life a lot. Father had been POW Changi and Burma Railway for 4 years after capture during the fall of Singapore WW2. He came home a broken man and then found happiness and married and had me and then his wife died and then I barely saw him ever after. I was sent off to some relatives aged 4 who weren't so nice.

Bula! Loved the Fijian people. I've been to Fiji twice. I loved Fiji very much. Spent time near Nadi in Sigatoka (sp?) and spent time on Treasure Island. I could live on Treasure Island. :) but that was in the money spending '80s so it was possibly after one coup and before a couple more.LOL They have had a few coups over the years. I don't want to be there during one.I spent time in Tahiti a few times. Japan a few times and some other places. All a long time ago now. Australians tend to be travellers. We're a long way off in the middle of the ocean and many of us have ancestors from other lands. I didn't get to see half of the places I would have liked to have seen.

I don't think you ever get over trauma completely. I spent years dealing with self-blame and a familial genetic predisposition to dysregulated brain chemistry. Then I married and had my children and that was another roller coaster.

I don't find peace in this world at all unless I'm on my own and in nature. It's no better here than anywhere. It's changed rapidly in my lifetime, just as your country has changed in your lifetime. It's all about the dollar. It's all totally beyond comprehension bobby.

Thank you for sharing lara.
hi wren!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

how many children do you have and how old are they and how often do you see them? Are they a source of comfort?
Do you like to read? I looked up what you have. one source was My Brain Doesn’t Seem To Be Working: Brainwave Dysregulation | Psychology Today
sh@t it has so much in common with bipolar 2. so much of the time is hell.
your childhood was so very awful-a nightmare. i guess you got little nurturing too and are probably so self critical. I don't know if you have faith.
Were you happy when you were traveling? i AM SO GLAD YOU LOVE ANIMALS.
I think I was in Fiji during the first coup. I stupidly thought that Fiji was going to be a paradise. never heard of Treasure Island. We met and went to the gg's birthday party. The private secretary was the governor general's relative. I had a couple of affairs. Deep down the Fijians for the most part were just like us but oh so friendly. We stayed mostly in the main city at the private secretary's house.
i loved that all the children were loved and it didn't matter if their parents were married or not.
I hope the villiages haven't changed and reflect the same culture. I think I was there for four months. When I was young i spent months in Europe and almost married an Italian.
In college i went to a few carribean islands. Later went back to europe.
Are you still able to travel or has your illness curtailed it.
YOU ARE SUCH AN INCREDIBLY BRAVE WOMAN.
Fondly,
Bobby

Hi, my children are young adults now. One lives with me these days and my son lives a long way away. My daughter was away at University in another State for many years but she came back home and we've coexisted ever since.

Regarding the brainwaves. I don't mean brainwaves, I mean brain chemistry, as in anxiety and depression and things like that. Children both on Autism spectrum for example.Tic Disorders are related to brain chemistry dysregulation. Dysregulation of Dopamine (like my Restless leg syndrome too)

So, Comfort? Well, comfort in a practical sense I guess. There have been a lot of these conditions in the family let's just say. My daughter helps me out a lot. We help each other out.

It's all genetic and organic. That's why I have never liked seeing mental health divided from other health conditions. They're all health conditions so it shouldn't be split up. Just my opinion.

I think Fiji has changed a lot in the past 20 or 30 years especially. Lots of people from other countries settled there and it's not quite the same island life by the sound of it. Treasure Island is just a little coral cay off the coast. Can walk around it as it's so small. It's probably overdeveloped and overpopulated these days as well.

I think travelling is amazing and the every different part of the world has so much to teach us all. It's all a bit ruined now sadly.

No, I can't travel anymore. I don't even go to the shops. Can't drive because I had all the brain mets.

I try not to look backwards. Covid has stopped travel here for 2 years. They're only just starting to think about opening up. I couldn't go anywhere if I could now as it's all too dangerous even if I was able. I have to have all my appointments and treatments so if I went anywhere now it'd only be for a weekend or a week and then I'd have to go with my daughter to help me get around but she's busy with her life.

Thanks for your kind words everyone and I'm not actually that brave. I'm a ball of anxious jelly always and I find it really difficult to talk about myself as well. LOL :rolleyes: I'm just doing what I have to do.

do you like to read or listen to music. that helps my anxiety and depression? when those don't work i am sunk.
i am very confused as to why you don't like mental health to be differentiated
unless it is not as respected or believed. Personally the medications I been given are practically worthless. so for the most part the consulting . for me there has no magic pill. I am glad i have all the labels now because i am so extremely self critical that maybe I at 77 1/2 at least part of the mystery has been unraveled. i just used to blame it on growing up with my family.
It is amazing how reading can quell the anxiety.
i don't know what i am taking about. i was a child psychologist and really did help a lot of kids-unconditional load and building trust.

Thank you again for sharing parts of your life.

I hope you don't mind doing this.Of course you
can just say yada, yada, yada.

from jerry seinfeld. an episode we watched last night.
skiming over details and just giving the out come of events.
It is a funny episode.
I hope we are not too much for you?
bizi

lol bizi. great perception! I know that episode. That's a bit how I feel. It's difficult to cram a lifetime into a couple of posts. No, not too much for me.

bobby, I just meant that I think that depression and anxiety and many other conditions are basically biological in nature just like everything else. The mind is connected to the body. Many people in the world do not undersand these types of conditions and we are treated differently because of that. We should be able to talk openly with our friends or employers about things like anxiety or depression or whatever, but we usually can not due to these misunderstandings. That's all I was saying.

I'm also very self critical as you mentioned. It sometimes is a positive though if I channel into getting things done properly. I'm more relaxed these days than I used to be I must say.

Reading is something that I've always done. Apart from a lot of medical reading that I try to keep up with, I love non fiction reading but also like fantasy and some of the good old science fiction. I don't find it as easy to read as I used to though due to all the brain fog caused by gammaknife surgery and constant infusions that cause it. Anxiety increases with having to go out. I like to be at home now. I get anxious because I'm living waiting on the next blood test and waiting on the next mri, ct or pet scan result etc. etc. Nothing can take away that part of my anxiety.

p.s. I made a whole heap of hair scrunchies last week out of remnants of pretty fabric I had left over. I have a room here set up as a "sewing and craft room" with two large tables and my overlocker and sewing machine are set up all the time ready to go. I've been a bit slack lately but making the hair scrunchies was a lot of fun and a good start in getting back to it once the cooler months head around.

Thank you for caring and showing interest. I appreciate that. I also forgot to mention that I loved learning about where your name came from my morgy. :hug:
I hope you've been sleeping better and doing OK there.

I have found this thread totally enjoyable and entertaining lately.

Also thought I'd say I appreciate all the information that you have
shared Lara. Its been enjoyable.

I will be updating my thread today.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

out of sorts. yesterday i gave my password to a scam. i don't know what is going to happen. so far nothing-so scared

i am terrified that they might either block me from access to my computer or charge all sorts of things or get at my money. i can't calm down. robert wouldn't listen one of the things that have to done but i am to scared to do it.

i changed a password and think it worked. i am shaking so much.

I am sorry you gave your password to a scammer.

yes glad that you changed your pass word.
you did what you needed to do. so that is perfect.
you can rest now...
bizi

i so hope that you are right. i don't know what the scammer was trying to get. can you believe but i am still shaking. i have to work harder on trusting God.
love,
bobby

So many scams around these days. Every couple of weeks lately I get a scam on my phone with links to click. So much data is stolen these days too. That's a huge problem with buying online. I hope it's all sorted now bobby.

so far so good but still really nervous.

Bobby

Keep telling us how its going. If something should happen or
not. We all love you. We want things to go good.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Dear Bobby. That is for sure one of those adult anxiety's.
I remember once(I may have shared you this short story.
I pumped gas (and then paid for it using a credit card.)
and went back to the car. Went home and looked for
my card in my wallet for some odd reason so panicked
feeling like some one stole my card. So I cancelled it then

a while later remembered I had put it into my scrubs uniform.
And there it was.
sigh.
Adult anxiety.
Trying not to minimize your experience at all just wanted to share
with you.
love,
bizi

so sorry. that happens to me too often and i get paranoid. i am glad it hardly happens to you, do you have to change a lot of places now?
I am always scared i lost my card.
i am still upset about the scam and very angry and anxious. i almost ended a friendship with a friend yesterday. whenever i try to start telling something like scam she interrupts and starts about herself. then when i finally interrupt she gets angry at me. she does have wonderful qualities but she really gets me angry. i am very liberal but she is far more liberal than i am and keeps on talking about all the people suffering in the world. when she is doing this she keeps on mentioning all the places in the world she has gone to and mentions if she has been there more then once.
her ex husband had business deals all over the world.
this time after we talked i emailed her and described a bad incident that happened to me in israel. i refused to have her start interrupting and telling me what happened to her.
love,
bobby
i am still very anxious and in a very bad mood. i had needed plumbing done before the old pipes burst. the super said he would give me a new bottom cabinet with stainless steel sink. it is so beautiful. today they work on the pipes.
my eating is terrible and i have no idea what i weigh and i bet i am diabetic again.
think i am going to write my friend and tell her about my new sink etc.
then she can't start talking about herself. ha ha.
love
bobby

Bobby

I think I missed something. I'm lost did a pipe burst under your
sink. I really can't keep up sometimes right now.

I really have had one of those days. But its been good.

Donna:hug::grouphug:

my super thought it was going to so he had it fixed before it did.
My p.t. will be in aruba this week. my walking has gotten much worse and now I have a back ache again .I woke and had a hard time standing. also took a little fall. took two aspirin. put more food in for the kitties and held on to objects to get back in bed.
later got up again and the aspirins helped. i could walk around holding things and didn't have the trouble standing.
bobby

just tried the sink and it works beautifully

Bobby

Glad the aspirin is working. Keep holding on to things when necessary.

If you can do a few of your exercises give it a try it might help the
walking. I know that sounds weird. But I found that if when I had
trouble with things I did some of the things I had learned it got
better.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

donna that is good advice
bizi:Good-Post:

i don't know what to do right now. i never got confirmation from amazon even though they tried send it me three times, i am so afraid that the hackers did some to my computer. then alice got me further upset in trying
to help me. she said she thinks that soon email won't be used and there will just be texting. my eyesight is bad and my right hand is bad from the stroke which very difficult to use the keys. my anxiety has been through the roof.
i ate jelly beans, chocolate and some chips. i still have an awful stomach ache and am so scared. my legs yesterday didn't help.

tinking of this
 

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Bobby

I had an issue with amazon too. But it was someone trying to
charge something to my debit card. I got it taken care of.

If you changed your password, then in your case you are okay.

I am not sure what all is going on but try to stay away from buying
from amazon if its possible for a while. Because I believe something
is going on inside there site.

I wasn't even trying to buy anything within there site.

And somehow it got done. So I'm watching how things are being
done. So we will see. I have never as of yet bought anything through
amazon, I am wanting to use it so amazon smile will benefit IN*SOURCE
but until they fix their messes I wont jeopardize my money.

Donna :hug::grouphug: