I'm so mad with the Goodwill Industries where I go to school once a week. I had blown up in class last Wednesday about the noise to let the teacher and other people in class know that the noise was distracting me. The teacher has had a co-worker/friend in class since about last Spring talking, laughing, and joking and such. Well, I cannot concentrate. Her supervisor tells me today I am not to send her no more emails. I sent her 2 emails since last Wednesday night and blind copied them to my Voc. Rehab. counselor. I had discussed to my teacher my concern about the noise level. My Voc. Rehab. counselor said that the email was very well written and recommended I send the 2nd email which I did. The teacher is denying she has a co-worker/friend in class with her and her supervisor is backing her up. He wants for the 3 of us to meet the next time I come to class. Fat chance that will be but I did not put it that way with him. I told him I would be glad to meet with them to get things straight but not on a class day. He tried to tell me that if it is a class there would be quiet but if not like what I go to, then there may be some talking. What kind of crap is that? I kept asking him to explain himself and he said because what I go to is not a scheduled class and there may be some noise but if it was a paid for class there would be no talking. Well, the Dept. of Rehab. pays for my days there. And he was wrong about saying I'm in there to brush up on my skills. I don't know this material at all so I'm learning although self study. I'm so mad I could scream. I had trouble with the last teacher there who yelled at me and then the staff harrassed me later for ratting on the teacher yelling at me.

Help me calm down. Deep breathing I know.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,

Can you wear ear plugs? I'm serious.

That's good that your Voc. Rehab. counselor supports you.

If the supervisor is asking for a meeting, it sounds like he is not necessarily supporting the teacher. At any rate it doesn't matter that the teacher has no class, no manners, and no compassion.
Make sure that you learn something anyway.

Sometimes you have to move around people who are in your way of improving yourself. We can't always get them to do the right thing. Ignore those kind of people and focus on getting what you can from the program.

You are doing well. Remind yourself of this. You are making great strides and great changes.



Mari

Oh, ((((((Barbara)))))),

I swear, sometimes, you're living my life

My son's in prison for his temper (almost 10 years now). My step-son lost his temper and almost blinded his best friend. Thanks be to G-d that did not happen.

Remember what I said the other day about your trip-wire?? Honey, we cannot control other people. All we can do is control our reactions to them. What's happening now is an opportunity for you to accomplish something that you want very much apparently is being screwed up by a bunch of inconsiderate low-lifes . The thing is, Barbara, no matter how much you scream and swear and yell and throw things and whatever else you could possibly come up with, you are NEVER going to get these people to be 'considerate'.

All your temper is doing is kicking you in the @$$. I'm not saying that you don't have a perfect right to be angry. You do. It's the way that you handle the anger. The letter was FIVE-STAR.

The guy sounds like a flaming @$$hole -- 'not a scheduled class' -- of course it is, otherwise, the teacher and the students wouldn't be there. That's number one. Number two is someone is paying for you to attend the close, therefore, you have a RIGHT to get everything out of that class that's possible. That's means no teacher holding 'visiting hours' during the class.

The way you handle this is you keep going up ONE. If the teacher won't shut up, then you go to her supervisor. If the supervisor is an idiot, then you go to his supervisor.

You should, you absolutely should, have the meeting next week on the class. This is very good practice for you to learn a skill that The Universe wants you to learn. That's why it keeps coming up so much.

Your letter-writing is apparently as fantastic as your poetry -- it can accomplish miracles. So ... you can pretend 'in your head' that you're "very calm and submissive" -- to use the phrase that The Dog Whisperer uses all the time and you're writing what comes out of your mouth. That doesn't mean that you're not boiling rice in your head. That means what comes out of your mouth is calm-and-submissive, intelligent, to-the-point. Then you can go home and bash the crap out of your pillows .

It's like acting. Have you ever performed in a school play or recited memorized material in front of the entire class or went and got your driver license or applied for a job?? All those things that panic you or frighten you or scared the living daylights out of you and yet you were able to do them because you ACTED LIKE you had no fear.

That's what you're going to do to get this problem solved -->> ACT like a civilized human being, not the Incredible Hulk

You can do it. I **KNOW** you can. Agree to the meeting next week. Act like you're reading a script. Be sure to state that you're learning new material. Also, be sure to state that the Dept. of Rehab is paying for you to be there and you CANNOT fail. State that you have no problem with people enjoying themselves and having fun -- you wish that you could join in. But, this class is SO CRITICAL to your being able to get a job and get back on your feet that you CANNOT FAIL.

Also, express your willingness to help solve the problem -->> maybe you could sit in the back of the room where it's quieter?? Or, maybe when you're trying to write and to concentrate they could let you sit in an empty classroom??

State that you're not trying to make any enemies or make anyone lose their jobs -- you're trying to learn something NEW that's going to make it easier for you to survive. Re-state that you HAVE TO SUCCEED in this class.

You're gonna keep repeating that you CANNOT FAIL and that you HAVE TO SUCCEED in this class.

Act like this is a problem that YOU HAVE and that THEY'RE GOING TO SOLVE.

Barbara, as long as you keep the temper out of it, it'll get solved. I **KNOW** you can do this

BIG HUGS (and love).

Barb

It's amazing what you can accomplish by some simple deep breathing exercises. I do this when confronted with a irritating or stressful situation. Sit back in your chair, your feet planted firmly on the ground. Close your eyes. Breathe in deeply for 4 seconds through your nose, and out 4 seconds through your mouth. Imagine those negative thoughts flowing down through your body, through your feet and into the floor. I do this several times a day...in line at the grocery store, stuck in traffic.

Wow, I could use a page out of your letter writing skills. I made a big mistake and I am still paying for it. But that is another story.

But I would definately go to talk. But can you maybe take the voc reh person with you, this way its not them against you. This way you have another person there with you.

You can also have this person there to help you talk it through. This way you will hold on to things better. I know it always helps me.

Donna

I am just sending some (((((((((((((((((BF)))))))))))))))))) and hope, and calmness and relaxation for you.

Hang in there, okay....I know you are under an extreme amount of stress, it's hard not to lose your cool. I can feel that too the last few days.

Smile....................Hugs, Nikko

Dear Befuddled,
You can see from this thread that people want you to succeed in your day and in your goals.
We care about you.


Mari

Thank you everyone. Mari, I know.

I have sent off an email to my voc. rehab. counselor to have him sit in with me at the meeting between my teacher and I. I plan to have the meeting next week. I need to face my teacher without her having her supervisor there making excuses for her and confront my teacher about the issues at hand. Then after that I will sit on it for awhile and think some more. However, I really do not plan on going back to goodwill as a student. Goodwill has been like an abusive relationship to me and I am going to get out of that relationship. It is not healthy for me. The only reason why I plan to go to the meeting with my voc rehab counselor and the teacher is to be able to say my peace so I can move on. Goodwill is not the only place in my big city that has a school.

befuddled2