((((((Mari)))))),

This might help. Or maybe not

I worked at a job once where I was supposed to teach 16 people how to use the computer. I had to do that one-on-one because we had no training room. I loved it. I was busy and productive.

I made the mistake of telling people that the could call me ANY TIME if they got 'stuck'.

A few months later we got a new boss who wanted a computer on EVERY desk. That meant I'd be training about 120 people one-on-one (who were passing that original message "call her if you get stuck").

I had dozens of people calling me every day instead of using their [F1] key or using the $150 help manual on their desk.

I had to write a letter to everyone stating that they needed to demonstrate that they had at least attempted to solve the problem themselves (unless they were working on a time-critical project).

The number of calls dropped instantly Sometimes people get too dependent on us for immediate help instead of trying to solve the problem themselves. Don't know if this would work in your sitch or not. But, it might be worth thinking about.

Oh, I was married. He was a caretaker type of person. The relationship was that one of us always seemed to be 'down'. When one went 'down', the other could shift into caretaker mode.

The problem was when I started therapy and started 'getting better', I threw off the balance that used to exist in the relationship because I didn't need someone to be my caretaker any longer. Confused the heck out of my husband 'cause he didn't feel 'needed' any longer. The therapists had warned me that this might happen.

In my sitch, divorce was the solution. Looking back, though, couples therapy probably would have solved that problem.

Life does get to be a puzzle and a muddle sometimes doesn't it

Hope you get 'things' balanced out. Hugs.

Barb