Mari & Bizi & Waves--It's all about baby steps! I cannot agree more. Mine have been made, and I just kept walking once I got started. I've broken into a sprint a few times, but never get to really running, and don't really want to. Walking at a goodly pace is fine for me, even though I do stop to smell the roses sometimes and even stop to curl up and sleep under them from time to time. I do get back up when ready and continue walking. Sorry I got longwinded. I do that sometimes. Read back through it and got exhausted myself! Maybe later I'll break it up into different posts or something.

CSword--Yes, it could be. The pang of getting rid of stuff is distressing, and distress can lead to a downswing. I've seen it in my dad, I've seen it in me. HOWEVER...living in a hoarded mess like the path your husband is heading in is not a good place for either of you to be in. Head him off while it's manageable, be it meds, counseling, or whatever. And if he's slipping into a downslide, work to head that off, too. He may need to go back onto his meds. People like me who deal with the one side may do fine after a while to go without, but we eventually slipslide for whatever reason and need to return to meds to keep from sliding too far. For both your sakes, get him to get back on track. Hoarding of that caliber is a hard nut to crack, but it's about changing a mindset that's important. Baby-step to walking.

And a friend of mine succeeded in decluttering her house by following something called FlyLady. It's an online help source that provides a framework and support for decluttering. I've looked through it, and took a few pointers, but only what felt like would work for me, and I use it where I want to apply it, 'cause I've never been one to blindly do what someone else tells me--I'm too independent for that. I just take the advice and apply it how it fits me best. Hmm...it does have some good tips, though.

--RW

Been through the flylady bit...I am limited to 15 - 30 minutes on cleaning at a time, and then sit for the same amount of time, I have severe sciatica and no way to combat it except rest and a couple Excedrine. This has been a problem since 1978.

He has been on Zoloft, Serzone, Paxil, and a couple others, he did best on them when he was smoking, he had a "vice". He quit smoking over a year ago and it didn't seem to bother him. What bothers him is the RSD, diabetes, COPD, and some other health concerns....

Then I start cleaning, I can't do the clutter thing any longer. He's an avid reader, and we have ONLY 14 bookcases in our mobile home....2 1/2 in the bedroom, 5 in the spare room abd seven in the living room. (the 1/2 bookcase is the headboard of our bed...just one shelf. One of the bookcases is VHS tapes that go back 25 years...they have to go. One bookcase is craft and beading supplies that we share...nothing out of place there....why can't the rest of the place be that neat??

For several years we have had a "path" through the living room....I used to enjoy laying on the floor to watch tv but we have no floor, just a path! Granted, since Monday the path is getting wider, North and West walls of the living room are actually pretty orderly now...working on the bookcase between his chair and the hall entrance...one shelf to go but its break time.
I've learned that when my back says its breaktime, its NOW, not in 10 minutes.

We both have the handicap scooters, his because of extreme shortness of breath, a bad back, and a knee replacement that is 11 years old and they don't want to replace it again because he's now diabetic....when we go shopping, he doesn't hesitate to use it, I don't blame him. There are two stores we go to that aren't real large and a scooter is difficult to use in there so he does walk, taking his time...I think some exercise is good for him.
I have a scooter that I use less than 50% of the time, I can still do wal-mart on good days and hit most every aisle, I bought the one I use and its been a Godsend for the days I do need it. His is through his health insurance (I have none).

I recently put four huge armloads of books through our local freecycle site and got rid of every one of them. But it only gave me a couple shelves. He understands why we need to downsize, its getting him to give the stuff up.
HE went through the magazines and threw out the catalogs that were 15 years old, and cut address off the rest and donated them to his doctor's office. I went through his closet and dresser and downsized that, he had bought clothes 20 years ago that were only worn a few times when he was like 130 pounds, now he's 210 and still trying to wear the same stuff. At least everything in there fits now and he has a few pair of jeans that I kept that if he drops 25 pounds, he can wear.

Mom is NOT a collector, she has everything labeled as to who gets what in the house and garage....she's 78 and in good health....will probably outlive me! Her house is orderly and uncluttered...and everything is in good repair.
Anything happens to her, we can go through the house in a couple hours and there will be a small load of stuff to donate to the shelter...clothes, shoes, and what few items no one is interested in. Us kids didn't have a lot growing up, but we had enough, and there were six of us. Hubby lost his Dad when he was 2 years old and he and his sister didn't have a lot, so anything they got, they kept and that gets unmanageable after awhile.

Dear Mari


As hard as this sounds when you are dead and burried... no one will recall if you were tidy or untidy...

My mum once said 'when you have children they will recall you playing with them, and the love given not mess arround the house'

Always remember there is you and your husband, you both have clutter, you both either live arround it and be happy, or you choose to clear it out.... only as individuals can this be reached....

if he chooses not to complain why are you worried?, if you are hurting by mess and clutter but can't remove it... ask hubby to remove it for you...


Take care and a Happy new year to you both.

Hubby is out with his buddies so I put in an emergency email to my friend to come help tonight. She is good at organizing, but more importantly, she understands me. I have to take a shower before she gets here.
I'll post back later. I love the great responses. You all are so good.

For now here is what is on the floor of my computer room/laundry room:

magazines
books
box of staples
paper
mail
clothes -- clean and dirty
laundry bag for delicates
hangers
water spray bottle for ironing
calendar from last year
a mardi gras necklace
pens
a can of nuts
receipts
magazine or two
old phone bill
notebooks
papers from my students from last semester


On the floor in the living room:

clothes
books
cd s
dvd s
papers
student papers
papers for work
box of Christmas cards
christmas card or two that I started to fill out and then messed up
reading glasses
an unread news paper
two calendars from last year --I'm a calendar freak
book bags (empty and filled)
plastic containers for papers (empty and filled)
mail
bills
shoes
umbrellas
hair brush
clothes
lunch box
a couple bottles of my meds that fell off the med shelf
stuff for pedicure that escaped its box
markers, pens, pencils
a few bottles of water
trash
phone book for work
empty plastic bags
stuff from CVS still in the bag
boxes of tissues here and there
1-2 catalogs



Sorry. I don't really expect anyone to read that. I get compulsive about this. I am not trying for the neat freak prize. But I need a pathway through my living room. I also need to find some piles of books and papers for when school starts Monday.

As you see, the mess is not a time issue. I have time to type this. The mess is about something else -- don't know what.

Sometimes I feel like the messiness is holding me back from moving on and getting a few things done.

Mari

mari, i just watched part of an oprah show. it had lots of recycling and "green" stuff. you know...if you recycle just 4 ft of some of that paper..you can save a 40ft fir tree.

i'm big on donating clothes that don't fit the kids or that i haven't worn. my big thing now is..if it's not flattering...donate it. i'd rather have just a few items that fit and look nice. being busty..tops tend to be too short.

the list is great! i can't wait to see the X's next to the stuff you have taken care of. say hello to your friend.

Supper is over and I managed to finish the bookcase by his chair and vacuum everything on the went side of the trailer...while he's watching tv tonight I will try to do the corner his desk is in and the big bookcase. Working on the entertainment center a bit at a time...as I find places to put the stuff that's on it cause the entertainment center has been sold, just gonna be awhile before she gets it out of here.

Guess I should remove my dragons and get them dusted and in a safe place...I have three big ones and room for two! I can put the smallest of the three on the small set of shelves...it doesn't stick out too far.

Hubby seems to be feeling better tonight. I'm only pitching JUNK and he can see that now. why do we need calendars that are 5 years old??

Hi,
Curious, I put an X by the stuff that is either off the floor or at least in a container or planner of some kind.

While I was working I found more stuff that perhaps should be added to the list, but really, what for.


I'm tired. I'm going to watch a movie.

M.

good job!
A bit of work and then a break is a good thing.

you must have taken a heap of energy pills! hehehe

awesome job!!! i am so proud of you.

go enjoy that movie.

Great work Mari!
You are doing great and pat yourself on the back!!!!!!
bizi
what movie did you see?