And you have been there for a while now? And you work, and are productive?

Then it seems you need some emotional rest. Therapy is very stimulating for some people. When those transferences get going, it can be a handful.
I read a really good book years ago by Dorothy Tennov.
I was in therapy long ago...and had this experience too.
here is the book:
http://www.amazon.com/Psychotherapy-...9420335&sr=8-4
While therapy is good in most cases (I really believe this)... at one point the transferences can become toxic.
In this book the author calls it mental masturbation.
But I have heard some shrinks call it mindf**cking as well. That is when the mental energy becomes hurtful/painful or destructive.
This is really an OLD book... and I am OLD myself! LOL. So you may only find it on the resale/used books sellers on Amazon.
This writer is very good. She has another book out on Limerance... falling in love...which is a classic. She is a professor of psychology.

I think you are showing some spunk and are in a place now to make decisions for yourself. It is a good move forward, I think for you.
Your telling your therapist to cut back is perhaps a healthy move for you.
You will know better when the 3 weeks are up.

I wasn't going to go to the appointment after the funeral but I decided to anyway. She asked me what I wanted to work on. I told her I needed to cry and showed her my post from the SOS forum. I never even realized I hadn't cried and I wanted her to help me cry, to get it out. She didn't say anything for it seemed like an eternity. She finally said I'm resisting and avoiding my feelings. There sitting there behind a closed door in the dark waiting to rear their ugly head but I won't let them out of the closet. She said I'm acting out my feelings through self hate and self hate is the most difficult pain to cry over. There's a gap between my consciousness and my feelings and in my case it's 6ft thick, made of steel and securely locked. I don't even remember what else she said I just felt like I was in a void and couldn't focus on what she was saying. She said she'd help me if I'd let her but I can't fear my feelings. I just said problem is, I fear them.

it sounds like she wants to help you.
(((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Me BP?,

Do you feel that she was listening to you?
Can you work together with her on your terms?

I hope that you feel ok tonight.
M.

I've been reading your post about your therapist. This is my conclusion. Get away from her. She's putting herself on a pedestal of,know it all,"awfulness",and isn't even helping you after a friends death. She has got you in the hot seat,and It's starting to sound unhealthy to me. I've been in counseling situations for many years,and sometimes therapists come to a complete failure. I don't know why it happens,I just know that it happens. Please,please,please shop around for a new therapist. Maybe she helped you to a point,and now it's time to move on. It sounds like she's moving you into her agenda,and being impatient,or something like that. She's lost her flexibility with you. It seems like she has a time scale for helping you. I'm now concerned about you being with this therapist. This is my opinion. No guilt,if you stay with her. I'm just concerned. It may hurt to let her go,but I believe you'll be better off with a new therapist. Brokenfriend (Your friend)

vary in their ability to handle tranferences. Some are very good at it, and
some are not. The ones who fail are those who have had similar problems themselves and have not risen above them (but think they have).

So if you sense you are not getting better, but more confused, as time passes,
it is time to think about a change.

Sometimes what really helps is a task to vent with. Drawing pictures, writing a journal, even music choice can help.

My husband had a terrible time after Vietnam. So I had to force him to go to a psychologist--we had no marriage left because of that war. She had him draw pictures of whatever he wanted...which he did--all violent, and even though it seemed childish because he cannot draw at all, he did vent what he needed to that way. Words are not the only tool.

Writing is good too, but it is really good when you read it back OUT LOUD. Then the words go into the air and back into your ears and are REPROCESSED as new information. This often helps. And my social worker friend claimed it was the only way therapy even works. So if you have problems talking to your therapist (an outside person), you can read out loud to YOURSELF at home if you feel safer that way. You might be surprised how effective this technique can be! Many people even talk to their pets!

It is really hard to know what to do...and I really can empathize with you.
Some therapy tasks are just very painful at times and it is very difficult to know if it is legit, or a therapist's failure. Cutting back your frequency may show you that more clearly. Some therapists are good at support and weaker at other types of intervention. Others the reverse. Only time and your feelings will guide you in this.

I think it is good that you come here and post.

There is a certain "type" of therapy called Gestalt therapy where the therapist actually challenges you on what you say.
They hold your feet to the fire, and this goes double time when you don't want to talk about it.
Some therapists use an ecclectic style. They might not always use this type of therapy, but switch to it for a session.
However, if your therapist is ecclectic, you might want to know this ahead of time!
Generally, therapy tends to be free flowing with many open ended type questions that help a client sort out and clarify their thoughts.
I would consider bringing the entire thing up at your next session.
Esp, if you are going through a rough time, you should expect to receive support.
I also think the notion of transference is a good one. If this is what happened and it interfered in some way, that would not be healthy.
I would be open about your feelings and look at the big picture. Are you getting help and making progress? This what counts the most.

p.s. Just saw your last post and would add to consider her words regarding "resistence." If you feel that she is coming on too strong, you might tell her so. With any relationship there are ups and downs. She might be experimenting with different avenues. Perhaps you need to be more open to challenge. Perhaps you can't do this at this time. Only you know in your heart what you are honeslty capable of doing. Also agree that you could cut back your therapy. Take notes at your appointments. Study them in between. If she is using sound judgment, trust her. If you are unsure, you might want to consider making a change.

I am sorry to say she reminds me of a therapist I had once. He always
asked me a question with a question.

And hten when I wanted to understand the question he asked a question.

He would never clarify what I needed to know. I had to go to a different
kind of therapy to get help.

It was a assume change for me, it worked much better.

Donna

I'm not sure what kind of therapy she's using on me. But I know when all this started to go downhill was when I went one day and there was an empty chair. I started to freak out thinking she was bringing in someone else to talk to me. I have a hard enough time talking to her. But she wanted me to talk to anyone I wanted to, pretend they were sitting in that chair. I thought it would be easy so I told her I wanted to talk to my brother Mark. She said talk away. Not a word came out. I just stared at the empty chair and froze. I had so many whys to ask him but I couldn't get it to come out. But she just stared at me and didn't nudge me. I said I can't do this and walked out. I know I have to talk about it but at my own pace, my own time. I think from that day on we started going downhill and she's seeing me different. I think she sees me as a coward, unable to face my fears. I get these newsletters from this guy named David Oliver. He sent me one saying it's OK to be OK. But I'm not ok.

At first I didn't know what set this off but I was sitting at Mark's grave today talking to him. I told him the Yankees weren't doing too well. And then it hit me, opening day of baseball. I remember thinking that day of him and saying Mark if you were here now you'd be pitching for the New York Yankees and I'd be one proud sister.

Dear MeBP

I So empathise with your situation..................i too take medical rejectio very hard... it takes a lot or inner strenght to come forward and talk... and then to be dismissed... or go off track....on what you want to say is very disheartening........sadder still....is that BP patients are told avoid stress..............then given more by those treating them.

So many doctors dont realise you live this affliction not them

i get irritated beyond belief by those who choose to deviate from what i am saying...it drives me insane...healthcare workers are the worst.. they are trying to retrieve text book answers and tick a box... well i for one am not a statistic in their criteria quota......................Me BP I feel so sad you have been through this experience...........my thoughts[not advice] if un-happy and feel a breakdown in trust- find alternative support.

Unless the person retracts or admits their faults, you will never be able to talk freely again ...yopu then ultimately loose out..

dont settle for this you deserve more.....

David