Try to take things slowly...you are trying to go so fast...you have plenty of time to figure things out.
When does school start for you?
bizi

September 2nd, but it feels SO far away.

Dear Meg,
How are you?
Do you exercise? Go for walks? Be around nature?
How do you spend your day?
Mari

I spend my days as an emotional roller coaster, unexplainable happiness to rediculous bouts of severe dread and depression.

I need something to do.

Hi, Meg,
The valium might help. Give it a try. It lasts longer than Xanax.
How much are you supposed to take (how many milligrams?)


Go for a walk. That is the best thing.
Or put in an exercise DVD.
Or work on your journal and listen to music.
Or make a list of things that work for you, so that in the future you can refer to your list.

Ask the pdoc if he has a better plan instead of giving you more anti-depressants.

Mari

I havent picked up the new perscription yet cuz I dont have any money to get it (pathetic I dont have $10 bucks), I would walk if I had like a treadmill or something, I can't walk outside, I get so worked up seeing things that remind me of how much everything is nuts, and i get all panicky i'd prefer to stay inside. i dont have any exercise DVDs or room to do any exercises, I feel so overwhelmed attempting to update my journal.

my pdoc plays NPR in the waiting room and I found it kinda relaxing that i listened to it in the car and i dunno.

I wish I was mentally strong enough to think about everything and just write it all out. This whole back and forth back and forth is exhausting. I would love to write it out when im in a good mood but itll put me in a bad mood.ekjgbhwekrgj

and im not trying to like, reject all your ideas, i appreciate them and all of your comments i just feel like all of this is so hard to push through alone

these are mood swings....
What meds are you on again?
bizi

I was on alprazolam (xanax) but I just got a new script for valium (i dont have it yet) so currently im not taking anything.

Example: Yesterday, I was driving to Sterling to hang out with Mike. The weather was kinda crappy (rainy/cloudy) and I was talking to God (out loud while driving) and I was SO SO happy, and as I was driving the sky started to clear up and it was sunny and beautiful and I was so thankful to be alive, and I was happy to see Mike and just hang out.

This morning: I woke up feeling physically and mentally a wreck. I felt like if I left my room, I'd just be more upset, so I locked my door and stayed in bed for hours. I usually go to my friend Lizzy's house in the afternoon till late at night, and I didn't go tonight because I didn't wanna leave my house.

and it's been like this all day, just upset and depressed and thinking about everything upsetting in my life.


Its been like this for weeks.

hi meg,
so you are not taking any thing at all?
I think you need to see a psychiatrist and see if some medication can help you.
You are going thru some rollar coaster mood swings, maybe this is normal for the stress that you are under.
I don't know.
I agree the valium is a better med. last longer...
bizi