I havent picked up the new perscription yet cuz I dont have any money to get it (pathetic I dont have $10 bucks), I would walk if I had like a treadmill or something, I can't walk outside, I get so worked up seeing things that remind me of how much everything is nuts, and i get all panicky i'd prefer to stay inside. i dont have any exercise DVDs or room to do any exercises, I feel so overwhelmed attempting to update my journal.

my pdoc plays NPR in the waiting room and I found it kinda relaxing that i listened to it in the car and i dunno.

I wish I was mentally strong enough to think about everything and just write it all out. This whole back and forth back and forth is exhausting. I would love to write it out when im in a good mood but itll put me in a bad mood.ekjgbhwekrgj

and im not trying to like, reject all your ideas, i appreciate them and all of your comments i just feel like all of this is so hard to push through alone

It's ok.
I used to sleep when I felt rotten. I still do. Sleep works and keeps me out of trouble.

I hear you.
It sounds like you need more help. Like you say.
You are doing too much all by yourself.

M.