wow.......great job.....way to go, see you are stronger than you think.

happy things are smoothing out now.......................get some rest too.

Hugs, Nikko

Hi Waves,
I admire you because you are so strong.
Mari

it is not over.

saturday was a mess. only had half done - my friends insisted on helping pack the rest... i let them but now i don't know where things are... and so i nowhave mixed up boxes in the subterannean garage.

i have daily breakdowns. my mother noticed the past few times she's seen me that i hop from one talks to the next without finishing any and dont seem to focus. i lose thigs i put down in seconds (easy to do with mess... but...seconds?) i forget things. i get irritable.

i was considering Bizi's hint about an AP tonight - have Zyprexa in house... that is i HAD it... but since it isn't a 'regular' med - it is already at my parents crap. i needed it more last week but i think this week won't promise much better. there's the deadline, the utilities, the post office, the oven, fridge... and then at my parents... unpack glothes meds.... ugh.

my mom and dad came today do do the shutters and windows and bathroom tiles, since my back is still very sore, esp certain vertebrae. i was a ***** for the first two hours i had slept in a baaaad position, having faded off without taking my meds... nor my NSAID.

it continues. i asked my mom tonight if i could have some time to jsut rest when i got there. she said sure, you knw afer a few days we can start sorting things out bit by bit. i was thinking more along the lines of 12 hours med-enforced DEEP sleep daily. fo like a week. guess not.

~ waves ~ against jagged rocks

Thank you both for your kind support... you remind me that at least i have got this far down the road, i guess. ~ waves ~

i may have given some wrong impressions. synopsis: my move is NOT over. the only thing that is all over is my head.

This is NOT over. NOT NOT NOT over. NO hump no nothing, no ease, no relax no no no no no. NOT. The hump is like, huh???? oh, my vertebrae! oh that, oh yheah i'll probably be a humpback whale soon between those painful protrusions and the weight i haven't yet lost.

ok, so stuff is moved. great, and i don't know where what is and no it will NOT be unpacked as there is NOWHERE TO UNPACK it. and i have enough crap left here i will need a car to bring me over with the rest. and MOST of the apartment needs cleaning. the shitty parts that take a long time. and i no, i can't just "eat" the deposit money and leave it.

i can't begin with the beaurocratic stufff... it all over the place flooding and i can't seem to do oen thing and finish it. my mind is everywhere i can't think straight or go from A to B i end up in bushland and doin't know how i got there i would have taken Z last night but - oops! - since it's not in my regular regime... it's already been moved to my parents. When my mom was here she said i seemed totally disoriented and remarked the extreme task-hopping. Plus the steam-engine drivel i spat at her down the phone one night. i call places and forget what i called for. or half of it.

i have massive crying jags but gave the finger to an @$$ biker who came shooting down the road (from faaar away) and across the pedestrian crossing barely after me. i ***** and ***** some more. my mood is so labile i feel like a lab up the wrong aisle. i spell things all in homonyms and manage to edit but it keeps coming and it's frustrating.

i don't want to go on i don't want to i don't want to dang but i only live on the fourth floor. now i shall be a good little fkd up recycling citizen, and take a huge back of shot electronic stuff to the eco-center.

lifes a ***** and then you die
never stop to wonder why
cuz if you do you'll only cry
life's a *****. and then, you DIE.

this sucks fuming sulphurous egg rot.

poor waves
if you can only tell yourself this too shall pass....I tell myself that when I am suffering the most painful depressions and it helps a little
Love
Bobby

Dear Waves,
I think I understand intellectually: it's not over. And when it is over it will be crummy because you still won't have your stuff with you. Your stuff will be in a garage yards away from your parents apartment. Except for a box or two or a suitcase, you will be living with your parent's stuff in their space.

Your kind of packing is hard because you are moving from a life to a smaller life. I wish that I could make this easier for you and offer you hope that when you get past the transition, you will find some good things. If I think of any good things I promise to let you know.


Keep going through the motions. And keep getting through your day. You are holding up in a way.

When can you get some of the Zy that got packed and moved by the helpful/unhelpful people?

Your mentioning of plush animals earlier thread was a "moving" moment.

'Thinking about you and sending you good thoughts so that you can get through this.

Mari

Waves,
I am very sorry that you are going through this.
mari

Waves - I am sorry you are going through a real crappy time. First sit back, take a deep breathe, cry if you feel like it and just relax.

Everything will sort itself out in time. So what the boxes aren't unpacked, they aren't going anywhere, do one at a time.

Before you can deal with any of this moving crap, you have to take care of yourself first, so do that, get some rest.

Tomorrow is another day, I know it sucks, but it is the only way to deal with this.

So rest, take on what you can when you can, that's all for now.

Hugs, Nikko

typing 1 hand cos cut index finger bad orying plastc thingi off vingr bottle now mks remng ckeanig a lottt hardr slower

all of u in hard place ... i also hope relif soon for u.

dear mari tx for hearing nd undrstnding. mom bring zypr tomorrow.

dear bobby, thanks for thots and exprnce. all helps.

dear nikko, thanks for ttrying to ease ny nind, vry kindhearted esp w all yr troubles. lucy splain betr nw- boxres deal not temp, not q of time pace whtvr, nt tody not nex month. boxes to stay pkd in grge 5 flrs down, not easy access. not beunpacled wll hav only cloths n meds, no mor. not natter of doing rest slow, see? until have job and can move out fr p's - possibly YEARZS while i professionally retrain - my life/stff in STORAGE. my p's have only smakk 1bd 1 bth. i stay on couch.

now going to bed after accidt, been long day too, recycke centr was a trip to hel n made bad foot hurt bt no nsaid du tu finger need to ckot. so heeding ur advice nw - called a day.

nite. huggs

and thx. sorry mad bfor - xo xo frstrtd mind skit skaterd. scattered. ha, skatng too. mood bersk.

w.