Hi,
Is she really holding on to the cheque?
You could call your bank and for a fee, cancel the check.
That would be mean. But if it bugs you so much, you could do that.

I suggest letting it go.
Stay away from her (stay off the phone) and after a while if you decide you miss her more than you are angry with her, then you can call her.


By letting it go for now you leave yourself some options in the future. You can go back to being "kind of" friends again or you can fight with her. You can give yourself that choice in the future.

If you fight with her now, you might be shutting down your options for later when you have given yourself time -- there is no rush to handle this now.

M

Dear Barbara,
I think it is best to give it some time...
actions speak louder than words perhaps you could write her a letter and tell her how you feel and that way get out your feelings and be very thoguhtful about how you word things, you won't be able to read them so she will read the tone of your voice in her mind as she reads it which could be very angry or in a soft loving way...you can't control how she reads it unless you very obviously preface the letter with her interests involved.
does this make sense?
you can't control how she perceives/reads it.
that is why you should be very careful how you write it.
just my opinion of course.
beth

When or if you write or talk to her again, mention that the amount was sent specifically for her to buy the program.

If she isn't going to use it for that, maybe ask her to return half of the amount???

Might be a bit of you both got caught up and excited in talking about Photoshop. But maybe she isn't really into it after all...

I've thought of doing just that Jo. Telling my sister that the amount I sent to her was for the software and if she was't going to get the software to send me back all but $20 of the money. I've just about forgotten about it for now. From what I gather from her indirectly, she spent the money on a $70 MP3 player which she probably wanted from the very start. I asked her when she got the new MP3 player did she get it at Christmas. She said she got it before Chrstmas and since I sent her the mony the beginning of November it makes sense she used the money for the MP3 player. I've fogiven her but I hope I won't forget because I don't want a repeat of it sometime in the future.

barbara

Well low and behold, my sister told me a few days ago that she got the Photo Shop that I had sent her the money for. She thanked me for the gift. I am glad that is over with. As soon as I left it alone it seemed is when she got the Photo Shop. I kind of feel ashamed now for thinking ill of the situation beforehand.

barbara

Dear Befuddled,
That's good to hear that you are feeling better about your sister.
Don't worry about feeling bad for how you felt.
Move on. We have plenty of things to look forward to in the future -- so we can drop that past the moment it passes.
Mari

Thank you Mari.

barbara