Barbara,

This is why I don't do presents. People get stuff they don't want.

Your sister probably spent the $80.00 already (did you check with your bank to see if the check got cashed?)
If she spent it, you can be sure that she put the money to good use.

Once you send off a check, you don't have any power over how the person is going to spend it.
(This is why some people use gift cards--so they can make sure that the other person uses the gift at Barnes and Noble, Nike, . . .wherever.) But I think that gift cards are tacky and bossy.

Try to be gracious and let it go.

She sent you an awful Christmas present. You sent her a nice cheque because you had in mind that she would go through with what you talked about and buy some good software.
She is not going to say anything like that but that is the truth.
You know that you sent a gift from your heart because you wanted her to have the software that you talked about.

Maybe take a break from her until this does not bother you as much.

Mari

Thank you Mari. I also think that my sister has already spent the money. I cound not find December's bank statement but I do believe she's cashed it already. I sent her the check the beginning of November according to the check register. I had mistakenly thought I sent it around Thanksgiving but found out it was much sooner than that. What bothers me about thinking she's already spent the money is that i doubt seriously it went to good use. My sister and her family have to have all the latest techenlogy things. She gets a new more expensive digital camera every year. All her kids have cell phones and other technology gadgets. As far as material things she has much more than I because I have a fixed income and she does not. This is why it angers me that she would spend the money on something else when she's not needy and that I sacrificed and did without to give her something she had expressed interest in having. I'm going to take your advice and leave her alone for the time being until I can learn to live with it.

It also brings to mind when I was a little kid and my mom gave me milk money to take to school. I didn't do what my mom gave me the money for and spent it on candy instead of milk. Boy was my mom mad when she found out. I never did such a thing ever again like that.

Barbara

I agree with Mari, take a break, let it go. It will only eat at you.

I also think Gift Card's are a better idea.

Nikko

It's sad, but I guess chalk it up to a lesson learned.
You learned the hard way about what kind of person she really is..

Thank you Nikko and Jo.

Yes, Jo, I did learn the hard way what kind of person she really is.

Today I got an email from my sister telling me she was sorry but she doesn't know anything about insulting me. I don't know how to take that either. She's been on an anti-depressant for the past month or so that she doesn't like so it could be the medicine making her act so verbally abusive. Although she use to always claim that she could come back with some good snappy answers to people. She's just never done it with me until the other day.

Barbara

What about just sending cards and not gifts or money? Use your Photoshop program and make her an awesome card. (That I would love, more than a store bought one. )

If finances change, maybe make a donation in her name to her favorite charity?

I'm sorry you got hurt.

that is an excellant idea curious.
I hope you are well.
((((HUGS))))
beth

I know in our case we usually give our older boys cash. But thats because
they need it to help with their expenses.

And then I tell my relatives and people that want to know what to give.

Either to get burger king gift certificates or gas cards.

Donna