I think I may have a bit of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I am going to call my p-doc today.
It was on 60 minutes last night, how people suffer from this from, rape, being in a bad car accident, violence, war, etc

I only think this because many of my symptoms are the same.
FEAR, EMOTIONAL DISTRESS, SLEEP ISSUES, NIGHTMARES, RE-LIVING THE EVENT.

When I talk about it, I get very emotional to the point of tears and it all comes back to me like it is happening all over again. The fear of him is still with me. I have nightmares about it, then wake up suddenly.

Last night I woke up approx. 1am, then 2:30am, then 4am finally got up around 6:45am.

Maybe it isn't PTSD, but it was and still is very traumatic for me. My mom yelled to me - you should watch 60 min, so I turned it on and went OMG.......

I shouldn't self diagnose, I really don't know enough about it. It is just so hard to get past this.

Hugs, Nanc

Nikko, I know I have PTSD. It is from a relationship in college that went horribly wrong. He treated me very badly after the relationship ended and told people that he wanted to hurt me. A very scary time.
So basically you feel all that sometimes at the same time!!! You basically are a walking zombie mess. Funny part is, that semester I was going through that hell, it was the best semester I ever had grade-wise. Go figure. Then again....looking back, it might have been the BP starting up and I didn't know it.
I wish you luck in finding out if PTSD is a diag for you.

It wouldn't suprise me one bit Nikko if this is the case. I know someone who has it and she's an emotional wreck most of the time. She's in counseling and it seems to be helping some.

Wendy I'm so sorry about what happened to you....{{{hugs}}}

So sorry that you keep having to suffer from his abuse....
I wish that it could just all go away for you...maybe you can talk to your therapist about this?
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Please bring it up with your therapist. It is so hard to survive domestic violence let alone have to take it with you into the future.

I still fight with it. But I really prefere to burry things. The joy of a non-existant long term memory.

Don't let it win. Talk now.

K honey? HUGS

I called my PCP yesterday and she wants to see me on Thursday afternoon, in the morning I have my Orthopedic Spine Surgeon, so it will be a busy day.

I called my case mgr and she said she would talk to my p-doc, but said therapy would be best. They haven't got back to me.

The thing is I am going to Domestic Violence counseling and they said I am doing great, and I was, it seems it just hit me after court was all over.
I would think it would of been happening all along, I guess that's why they call it Post - plus right the after assault I was dealing with a bruised brain and post concussion syndrome.

Hugs, Nikko

"I would think and would be happening all along."

Nikko, You don't know it's happening. I finally just snapped, like you did. I am not a doctor, but I think you might be right about this. What you went through is similar to being a POW.

Hugs
Hamster

The down side of PTSD is that it could take literally years for it to hit. I know that the emotional abuse I suffered with that ex-boyfriend still hits me at the least likely of times. It could be a song or a smell that reminds me of that time.
Its a strange thing.

Well, I will know more after Thursday, I know there is no magic pill to make it go away.

My case mgr said she relayed the info to my p-doc and to give her a day or so to get to it. That's fine with me.

I see my PCP Thursday, she said to talk, so I don't know what else to expect.

I hope to sleep better tonight, I am going to take 2 Trazadone as I was taking before. I really need to sleep through the night, but I doubt it will happen, never does.

I thought being BP was enough stress, but this PTSD is a killer, my nerves are like thin burning wires inside me, I even shake sometimes. I hear every noise, I don't like people touching me to say HI if I don't see them coming.
My nightmares are sooooooooooooo real. And yes, many things remind me of him. I am always looking over my shoulder. I can't seem to get close to anyone, I have no trust in people, well men to be more exact. The reliving the assault is the worst, it just happens and it's like I am back there at the pool.
Afterwards I couldn't go to the pool for awhile and if I did I couldn't stay.

This too shall pass, I hope real soon........................
Sorry to complain so much, but this all scares me. I don't like what is happening to me. It's all over now, I should be much better, not like this.

I feel like crying, sorry, Hugs, Nikko

{{{{{Nikko}}}} you're right. This too shall pass. You've been through so much already and you certainly don't need this. But it's best you find out now so you can get the help you need. You need to sleep (I should talk ) and rest your mind and your body.

It's okay to cry. You need it let it all out and let it flow.

I'll be thinking of you Thursday and I'm hoping that you get answers.