I cried in my session with my Domestic Violence counselor today. Over all the years of emotional battering from my husband and his family I stopped being diplomatic and started reacting to people with an attitude like I was treated.

I remember almost a couple of years ago making a post saying that I was taking after my husband some for having a smart mouth and I didn't like it. I never had a chance to change that since I was still in such an explosive relationship with my husband. After my husband and I split, there it was still there in me. I had forgot what I had become. On one hand I'm extra nice to make new friends and they take advantage of that extra effort on my part or the ones who do want to be nice to me, I alienate them with my attitude problem.

What hurts is that for 3 years I tried to tell my family, the case managers and therapists at the mental health clinic, and some friends that I was being emotionally abused and that I felt like it would esculate. No one would listen to me. I was made to feel like like I had no merit at all from almost everyone in my life. This has turned me sour at times. The physical abuse started last year in September and got worse and worse.

So I have alienated a lot of the people in my life and that is why I have hardly any friends. If anyone feels like they are being abused, they should just get out asp. Emotional abuse I believe is the worst. The bruises go away but the emotional scars linger.

befuddled2