[Coach]

Since November I have been on and off so many meds my head is spinning.

Now on Zyprexa and BuSpar and feeling a little better. Still not where I want to be. Doing the fish oil, vitamin D, sleepmask and melatonin but I can't say any of it has helped.

Shrink says I should limit the computer use as well. Suppose to emit blue light which isn't good.

I've really tried to be faithful with my sleep routine as well.

Still I feel like crap most of the time.

Is anyone actually comfortable?

Pam

[befuddled2]

Hi Pam,

It took years for me to feel comfortable with myself but I do feel comfortable. Sometimes I get pissy with friends I'm around all the time if I've not had enough sleep though. I do believe that having lots of friends who support me have helped me.

barbara

[Mari]

Dear Pam,
Regarding the computer screen.
I read that stepping away from the computer by 9:00 at night helps one to get to sleep.
Also, using sunglasses can block the blue light from computer and tv screens.
http://www.ecpmag.com/1webmagazine/2...ns-tinting.asp

Regarding getting comfortable:
This is where therapy can help.
Most of us here have been in talk therapy in one form or another for years. ( I started in 1988 and stayed for 8 years. Then I returned about three or 4 years ago.)
Talk therapy can help one feel more in control.
And can help one think communicate better with the psychiatrist.



What are your worst symptoms / side effects now?
M.

[bizi]

that your current meds are helping.
it takes a long time to get comfortable with our illness.
sometimes we fall in and out of denial, hypo mania can feel so good but can cross a fine line to mania, and then the rebound depression, aggitation, dysphoria...it is all hard to accept.
I wish you some peace of mind today.
keep posting
beth

[Coach]

Thanks for your reply.

Unfortunately I don't have mental health benefits and our income isn't low enough to qualify for reduced rates for therapy. At this point in time we just can't put the money out. We need to take care of my mom's assissted living expenses.

My shrink said to use blue blocking sunglasses. I don't wear them like I should.

I am anxious and depressed. Only been on BuSpar for 3 days. Just finished trying Lexapro and Celexa. Both made me really nervous.

Zyprexa has helped some with my chronic pain. It costs a fortune and we don't have prescription coverage. I've been able to walk a little bit lately which is nice.

Thanks for caring.

Pam

[bizi]

hugs to you today
(((((((HUGS))))))
that is interesting that the zyprexa is helping with your pain issues, you will need to watch your weight as the zyprexa can cause weight gain.I am sorry that the depression monster is around.
beth

[waves]

Dear Pam,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time stabilizing.

Actually, sometimes even after we get meds that work, it takes further adjustment in our lives before we make a big leap forward.

Am i comfortable? Moodwise etc... not right now, no, but i have been before. Comfortable with myself... ehhh... i think i was a few times when i was younger, but i thought you were referring to mood/state... anyway i have answered both.

I share Beth's surprise that Zyprexa is helping your pain issues, as well as her concern regarding diabetes. Zyprexa's link with diabetes is more direct than through weight gain. The underlying mechanisms involved can cause BOTH weight gain AND diabetes. Zyprexa has a direct effect on the beta cells in the pancreas... therein lies the problem.

About the computer, I am rather bad. And since i replaced my laptop, i got one which happens to emit even "whiter" light (probably more blue and more UV in it). Now, my shades do "happen" to block more blue and violet parts of the spectrum, indeed i use them when i have migraines as that is the most triggering part of the spectrum for me. But then i cannot tell apart certain colors on the computer

If you have shades which block little enough blue to still make this distinction (AND block UV) that sounds good. And ... using them some of the time is better than none of the time!

I do think it is best to put away the computer a good while before you go to bed and find some other activity that does not stimulate you. quiet repetitive activities like crochet can work (don't know if your hands hurt though) and i find reading can help me get sleepy... but it depends on what i read. You would need to choose an activity that works for you.

I think you need to hang in there, and keep on doing what you are doing. Keep posting and venting here. Keep an eye on your weight and get regular labs (blood and urine) for sugar levels and triglycerides to catch any trends early. You might also ask your doctor about alternatives to Zyprexa since you are paying out of pocket.

Have you ever tried Depakote? If not, that could be effective... it often helps people with unusual pattern bipolar. With Depakote however, I would caution against using the generic and rather encourage using the Depakote Brand name enteric coated 24-hour release tablets to avoid stomach trouble. By the way, do you know what Bipolar Type you are - or better yet know the numeric code of your diagnosis?

I must congratulate you for making all the efforts you are. These are some of the lifestyle changes i was talking about... but it will take time to see benefit.

Sleep hygiene is a very important aspect of living which can dramatically improve things, for instance.

What is great is you are trying! That is at best difficult when we are not feeling up to par.

So, if nothing else, give yourself a lot of credit! I DO! And it will pay off, regardless whether you need to change meds in the future.

Good luck and look forward to hearing back.



~ waves ~

[Dmom3005]

Pam

I am wondering if you have thought to see if the income you use to help
your mom I believe you said with assistive living. Could be counted not
against you in the to much category. I'm not sure if there is a way.

But I know that in some cases in Indiana there is a way to use medical
expenses, for other relatives. And I believe if you are doing this for
a family member like this, it should count.

So I would do some more research on this.

I wish I could help you, but I am not sure if there is any thing I would now
in your state.

Donna

[Coach]

My best friend is here visiting for a couple of days from Arizona so I am enjoying that she is here.

I am bipolar 2.

I tried Depakote without any luck.

I will have my blood checked next time I'm in Arizona. The lab here is Colorado does a terrible job of getting blood from me. I have Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy as well and I can't handle all the jabs.

I'm hoping BuSpar is the answer for my depression.

They are using Zyprexa for Fibromyalgia pain now. My shrink says the studies are very promising. I certainly hope I don't get diabetes! I'm watching what I am eating. Before RSD I was a personal trainer and fitness coach. Out of shape now!

Thanks for all the encouragement. I hope I can get in a good place for a while. Suicidal thoughts daily are exhausting. We lost my step daughter to suicide in 2003. Looking back I know she was bipolar has well. Her son is also.

Really hate this disease!

Pam

[bizi]

war is acting up again....ycerides as well as your blood sugars , waves is right about watching your triglycerides, computer is acting up again
sigh
beth