I am struggling as well. I have been married to my husband for 5 years and have a 1 year old. Everyday is unpredictable. It is hard because looking at him he looks "normal" and can blend in and be very charismatic with others. But everyday he reverts into a child at some point. Tantrums, self absorbed, manipulative, impulsive and the list goes on. I am at my breaking point, but I love him and is the father of our daughter. I am concerned however about our daughter because he can be cruel and children don't understand that Daddy doesn't really mean it. It can warp a child and their self worth. It has effected mine to say the least. When is enough enough? They don't mean to be this way but you can only take so much right?

Oh so sad reading through this. I have an illness with neuro aspects which has changed me somewhat though not to that extent. I feel for you, all of you and what you're going through.

Everyday is unpredictable. It is hard because looking at him he looks "normal" and can blend in and be very charismatic with others.

I know what you mean about looking normal. My husband is a master at mimicking and acting normal. After years of knowing him I know he isn't authentic and it's like living with an unpredictable hodge-podge personality.

When I married him 15 years ago, I didn't know my husband suffered a serious frontal lobe injury at age 5. I just thought he was misunderstood. He was, of course, because he was hurt at a time when no one considered the long-term effects of such a severe impact. He seemed fine when he recovered from the two week coma, so that was that. Thus began a life of stealing, drug and alcohol addictions, compulsive financial behavior, and unhappiness for his ex wife and kids. I met him in AA, and we have shared a journey of sobriety which has brought us close. But the lying, the verbal abuse, the insanity and all the other hallmarks of TBI have begun to take their toll on me. I came to realize his behavior was caused by the TBI, but I don't know how to get help for him or me. No one can understand, and no one believes it could be real.

I can relate to every post and comment here!!!! So happy to be at what feels like "a family reunion" where your meeting your new cousins for the first time. I've lived without support, as the caregiver for nearly a year now. It is very lonely.

Can anyone tell me how long it takes moderator to approve posts?? I posted on this site yesterday. Thanks in advance.

I feel for you having been trapped once chemically on the other side, where side effects stole my personality and cost me my family, and now a brain lesion has robbed me of my small amount of freedom in the ability to drive and has taken away my only hobby.
BUT… our outward inabilities to express ourselves as the loving people we once were does not diminish the love we feel in our hearts. We have had a huge part of 'I' taken away and can feel trapped, lost and alone. Do not take this as a sign that Love has died.
Draw on the strength of those around you. Come here for support. Know that your husband really hasn't changed inside.
Dave.

I appreciate so very much all of the help I can get. It is very hard to have once been treated so lovingly to what is our "now". He has no patience at all and therefore it makes me feel like hiding beneath a chair. Seems like everything I say gets him angry. He's titrated up to the 750 mg dose of Depakote this week, supposed to be a mood stabilizer, this upcoming week will be week 4. I understand that it will take a bit to regulate. Also on Celexa 40 mg day. But this has been a med for last several years. I just feel lonely and lost. I try to be two steps ahead of his every need, as to put meds in a cup, etc. he got up earlier than me yest and Accidently took 2 Dep in am instead of one. Needless to say he felt new nauseated and slept most of day.

Thanks again for your reply, it means the world.

I hope my friends on the CP Forum are reading your posts, many of us have been left with no support and you are struggling to give your all.
Please tell me you have some time in your day when you can escape for just a short time for your own mental health. No-one will benefit if you become ill, or find you can't cope. Do you have friends or family you can draw strength from?
I truly hope your husband's new meds bring some stability to his condition, and to you.
Dave.

Hi,
I am sorry about your husband and his injury. I am going through TBI with my husband as well. It has been a year, things are better than they were a year ago. I am hoping he is generating more brain cells.
We have good and bad days. I am learning when to walk away instead of trying to reason with him when he is too tired or "off"

I hope I'm in the right thread. Has any spouses experienced the feelings of resentment. Not so much for the TBI but for the new "colder" spouse> I've been at it an extremely long time. I often fantasize about running away. I have no family. I don't have a friend that I could trust with such personal info. My husband's TBI has made him a professional, charismatic "new" person to others. They think tat I'm the one that is being mean and abusive. The reason they believe this is because the "TBI Spouse" knows how to win points through his "outside personality." Now, I have to give credit where credit is due. My spouses TBI sense of humor is HYSTERICAL!! But, the dark days and nights are very dark. Throughout the thread, I noticed something in common. That is, why do the nonTBI spouses feel that our TBI spouses are taking it out on us?? There seems to be a lot of anger or something like resent.