[Sam]

This is really ridiculous. Usually I try not to think "why me" or "this isn't fair", but I'm having trouble with it today. I'm losing more and more work days to the migraines, medications or combination of both. Friday I was out, and it looks like tomorrow will be a wash too. It makes me angry to think of how much life I'm losing. I know others are in much worse positions, and I try to hold onto that, but sometimes, it just isn't enough.

Because my job requires seeing the same clients several times a year, its embarrassing to have to cancel them so often. Even worse, their pets are cancelled on as well. No one knows when or if it will end. I guess this is just a venting message. Rumors of why we aren't in the office get back to me, and some of them are completely bogus. All I've ever wanted to do was to help the creatures.

For those of you on several medications, do you ever worry what is going to happen if you get to the point where you can no longer communicate and have to rely on people in a nursing home to understand what you need and when. It sounds odd, but not being able to control your own medications really leaves you feeling vulnerable.

Sam

[Dr. Smith]

Originally Posted by Sam

For those of you on several medications, do you ever worry what is going to happen if you get to the point where you can no longer communicate and have to rely on people in a nursing home to understand what you need and when.

Possibilities aside, has any doctor told you that that's a likelihood?

I think that's the pain/depression and/or meds talking. Can you listen to some music on low volume or a book on tape? Anything to distract yourself from moods like that...

Doc

[Sam]

My Dr. has not told me that I will be unable to communicat, but has told me more than once when I have balked at increasing drug dosages, or wanted to stop taking them, that in all liklihood, I will be on the medications for the rest of my life. I seem to be growing into the migraines rather than growning out of them, and the secondary problems stemming from the drugs and pain are beginning to add up.

My fears of not being able to communicate come from the fact that at present, during bad breakthroughs, I can't talk. My friend has gone through this with me for so long that she understands through body language, what is going on. As is the case in many older folks, there can be things like alzheimers and other dementias that may appear similar to the rocking, head pressing/banging and a severe breakthrough could easily be misinterpreted. Good nursing homes with observant, compassionate staff cost a lot of money. Money that I don't have. I've been in state run homes in the past, and the staff is often burned out, way overworked with an impossible case load. I'd rather perish at home by way of dehydration or starvation than go to one of those.

Music, although I love it, is a bad thing for me. Not something I want to go into here. I used to love to read. In the past six years its become painful. I save my reading for keeping up on my veterinary information and this forum.
I used to be able to get a great deal of peace from walking long distances in quiet parks. Something else that is now gone. I haven't given up looking for things to replace those things, it just gets frustrating sometimes.

Sam

[ginnie]

Don, another member on NT. told me you were having a rough time. Allow me to try and help with the depression. Truely, I understand this from a very personal viewpoint. I want to try and help you trough some of the dark moments. PM me, contact me. I e-mail with don, and i sure would with you too. You are in my thoughts right now, hang in there. ginnie