Having a good relationship with our doctors is vital to making sure that we get quality care. Being able to communicate with our doctors is a vital part of the doctor/patient relationship.

And for chronic pain patients, this doctor/patient relationship can be the difference between getting proper treatment and getting no treatment.... and it's not just the relationship with out pain management doctors, but with our primary care doctors, our other specialists, etc... because these doctors often communicate with our PM docs, or these other doctors are the ones responsible for giving us the referral to see a PM doc.

Our lives are in their hands. Our quality of life is in their hands.

So I thought I would start a thread where we can all talk about how to make the doctor/patient relationship better, how to better communicate our needs to our doctors.


So does anyone wish to share experiences, tips, suggestions, etc....

Very glad you started this thread. I am presently in a very bad doctor/patient relationship...but, I think I have a bad PM doc. For instance, in his practice, he has a chiropractor, and pushes that. I have a herniated disk at T8/9 that compresses the spinal cord. While my neuro doesn't allow me to do certain type of exercises, this jerk wants to have me put on some sort of a machine that loosens things up (right wording?). He also pushes me to tears on a regular basis. Can't wait to go to the new Rheumo.

Had a neuro once (retired) that was the best doc I ever had. Guess I give the impression that I am a wimp, because in the beginning, he was a pompous *** who pushed me to tears...thus, anger. When I lamblasted him, he became the most caring and loving doc I have ever seen. Doc Howel was wheelchair bound...well versed in spinal injuries, and probably worked feeling like hell. I cried for weeks and weeks when he retired, and have not been satisfied since...but, I am no doc jumper.

Would love to hear some suggestions.

sally

Sally,

I'm sorry to hear about the troubles you are having with you doc, but I can certainly relate to them, and unfortunately problems like yours are way too common.

Have you tried to get your Neuro to write some sort of note to the pain doctor so that the pain doctor stops being so pushy about the chiro stuff? In my experience, doctors don't always listen to patients, but they very often listen to other doctors.

It's so hard to deal with bad doctors, but for many pain management patients we get stuck with bad ones because they are either the only pain doctor in town, or we are afraid to change docs for fear of being labeled a doctor shopper... and we all know that being labeled a doc shopper is pretty much the same as being labeled an addict.

Would your neuro take over your pain management? or your rheumy? or maybe a primary care doctor? Or can any of those doctors recommend a better pain doctor?

I wish I had answers as to how to fix a bad doctor.... but it would probably be easier to go to medical school myself than to teach a bad doctor how to be a good doctor.

Gosh...this is a toughie...

So far I've been to more than two-dozen doctors and specialists in the past four years, mostly because the cause of my pain is still undiagnosed, and I don't mind pushing and pushing some more for every test possible.

Some docs are good and some aren't, and I have yet to find a way to tell which it's going to be before I meet them. For me the best source of info on which docs are best are the nurses and even some admins at certain hospitals, like the ones who do nothing but radiological testing. Since they don't actually treat patients themselves, they are often pretty honest and helpful in suggesting outside docs who fit your needs.

I've never had any problem getting meds. Whatever I ask for I get, within reason. But I do live in fear of having that one doc label me a seeker or something, 'cause I know that could change everything. It's a dang shame that the people who need the help most keep finding it the hardest to get.

I dont have any tips or suggestions.I sure would like to hear some though!
I dont wanna turn this thread into a complaintfest.

However,i am having a problem since i have been diagnosed with arthritis and fibro.
Every doc wants to know what the last one had to say.
When i tell them.I am basically brushed off!!
I have had this ongoing pain in the left side of my neck/shoulder/back for going on 2 years .Even though initally my problems started 3 yrs ago.
Anyway I am getting worse and it seems these docs just want to push pills on me!!
Mainly topamax .The pain med i get does'nt really control my pain yet nobody wants to help me with that because people with "fibro"dont usually"need" anything more than that!!!Yeah surreeee!!!!!
I am pretty fed up!!!!
I am having some pretty severe burning in my upper shoulder.neck.back.
It has been getting worse these past few months.I dont want to increase my meds to ease the symptoms.I want to get an MRI to see if my nerves are being crushed...I have been this way for almost 2 yrs!!
Do they just want me to continue to increase the amount of this med until i can no longer spell my own name??
When i look in the insurance book to see who is in our plan..It seems as if they all doctor at the same hospital{s}.So i just feel like ..whats the sense in switching doctors.They are all brothers and sisters!!
When you go to a new doctor that is possibly friends or maybe even "good buddies"with your old doctor.You know they will say, who was your previous doctor and why are you here?
I have had multiple surgeries and MRI's nerve tests..etc.I cant just act like this is a new problem..I will have to give my history.
I will have to say who has been prescribing my meds!
So here is where i could use some help.
What is the best way to approach this kind of problem?
I think this is a great idea for a topic,just wish i could help instead of asking for it!
~Kell~

Kell,

I have had the same problem with doctors - they always want to know every diagnosis, every med, and what doctor diagnosed and prescribes. It bothers me because I sometimes feel as if by giving all that info that the doctor might miss something or overlook something in my exam or in my reports of symptoms.

I recently had to see a new specialist - and I flat out refused to give any past info. One the new patient form I wrote "I will provide diagnoses, medications, and doctors names after my consultation".

When the nurse got pissy with me and asked why, I told her it was because I wanted/needed an UNBIASED opinion about my ongoing medical situation without clouding the picture with previous diagnoses that may be incorrect. I did provide a symptom report and all diagnostic test results...

She was still pissy because I was being different, but the doctor understood that I wanted a new set of eyes, a fresh look, and unbiased opinion. And that is exactly what I got (unfortunately the doctor had the same basic opinion as my previous doctors, which is that he has no darned clue as to a possible cause of my symptoms and test results).

This is a good one, ((((((Liz))))))

I started going to the pain management clinic a few years ago. Interestingly, I got assigned to the Director.

He was abrupt and rushed and didn't "hear me" and didn't pay any attention to me at all.

This is a clinic in a teaching hospital in Boston. Lots of patients. Not enough time per patient. The students/residents see the patient first; then you're transferred over the whomever your doctor is. Not a good way of doing it but that's what you get when you go to the clinic.

I complained to my primary care physican about his manner and his abruptness (almost bordering on rudeness) -- SHE was the director of the Women's Health Center.

I wasn't TOLD. But, it was obvious that she talked to him. Because the next time that I saw him (less than two weeks later), he was polite and civil. He asked me questions which indicated he had actually read the record. He listened to me. And told why me I 'should' or 'should not' choose particular alternatives.

Basically, the whole point that I'm trying to make is that maybe if someone that knows the doctor that you're having a problem with can intervene for you, it might change the relationship. It worked for me.

He's a totally different doctor now. He had the practical skills when I met him. He had the managerial skills. He just didn't have what they categorize as "good bedside manner" -- even though there was no bedside involved

All of the different doctors that I've had over my lifetime -- everything from GYN to pain management -- the ones that I actually 'clicked with' and felt like I am 'part of a team with' were the ones that took the time to listen and respected my opinion even if they didn't agree with it.

Hugs for the room.

Barb

yes, sad to say.. but that is reality in big teaching hospital .. I was asigned mostly to Residents. And nobody was kind to me, and the Attending probably spend 5 minutes. They couldn't care much less.

But ever since I became the patient of the Chief of Neurology in the biggest teaching hospital affiliated with one of the best Med Schools in the world, I got special treatment everywhere. First time I was in the ER (before I was his patient) I only saw a NP, no Residents and definitely I didn't even know the name of the Attending or anything. The second time I was in the ER (after I became his patient), first I was seen by one of the best Attendings, then some hours later, the Chief of the ER came to my bed, and the first thing he said was "so...you know Dr. X very well!" Ok.. what is that suppose to mean??

The same thing anywhere else. Nobody wanted to make a mistake on me because I'm his patient. But my Neuro is the best MD I've ever had. He cares about my life. He encourages me to be in graduate school, to play piano again etc. And although as the previous 8 Neurologists, he still can't figure out which wires that cause variety of dysfunction in my nervous system, he is not scandalized by it. His focus is to help me, not to declare to the world of Medicine that he finally solves the mystery of my sxs.

Good idea, Wittesea!

And I totally agree with you Barb. I've had to call one doctor to help intervene with another twice now, and both times it made a big difference.

Kell, I don't care how many times I see it, every time I see your story it sounds so similar to mine. Same pain...different place. And yes, some docs WILL continue to increase medications until you can't even spell your own name. At one point two years ago I was asked my name, and had to pull out my wallet and check my driver's license to remember. Thankfully I got past all that. Don't let it happen to you. Take what helps, but don't just become some experiment.

Wittesea...I knew a good subject when I saw one! Thanks! I have enjoyed and even laughed at Kell's tongue-in-cheek dry humor till I was sick!!!

Can't find my old neuro since he was the top dog with the LSU hospital in Independence, Louisiana, and retired. Nobody seems to want to share the info. Guess I can understand. The horrible thing about it all is that the very last appointment I had with him (years ago), he said, "Stick with me. I will get the answers you need." Guess he did not know that the school was going to discontinue at that satelite hospital, and Dr. Howell would retire.
But...I have always been told to seek help with a Rheumatologist, and finally have the appointment on the 31st!!! I have HOPE of getting a good doctor again. I hate to say that my opinion of Louisiana doctors (as a whole) is not the best. But, there are flukes in all situations!!!

I read in the other BT Community that someone had to take their BROTHER to get her doctor to listen. Makes me sick. Sounds like my redneck neck of the woods!!! Don't have a brother, nor a husband (anymore), and I am not so sure that any doc will be impressed with a 24 year old welder...that is my shy son. But, maybe that would help somebody else...if they care to try it. But, I still pray for a compassionate, caring, and intelligent doc...even in Louisiana.