[john jeffery aka JJ]

I am a logically thinking person, in my mind things have to make sense or I don’t except them. I am aware of my present situation, I’m aware of what my limitations are , I know what’s a head of me;. All this, “I�� have come to terms with, is this so impossible to believe. Why do people keep asking me how I live with pain all the time, I can’t stand when people feel sorry for me, I especially hate when they offer to help me or do things for me , I go out of my way not to show that I’m disabled, I don’t walk with a Cain and I refuse to get a handicap sign for my car, and I only cry in silence
Tell me; do I sound like I’m depressed?

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A little background on me;
Im a 48yrs old male, I have moderate to severe chronic pain everyday of my life for the past10 years,
I was diagnosed with sever stinosis in the neck, severe D.D.D
At 37 I had to have a lamanectomy from C3 to C7 inclusive, do to herniated disc that affected my spinal cord. The doctors have made it very clear that there is real nothing left to try, medically to get rid of the pain.
Presently I can not feel with my hands, no sensation, I have pain from my head to my toes. I have been on every type of pain medication and all stopped working after a while
Now I take Lyrica and and medical marijuana