[ConsiderThis]

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Comparing people who volunteer to help out keeping the community a safe place to the "war on terror" is a stretch and really undermines keeping an open mind about these things, don't ya think?

If you have your mind set, then nothing anyone can say is going to convince you, so I wish you well in your online journeys if indeed you choose not to stay.

John

I didn't compare people who volunteer to help out keeping the community safe to the war on terror, I said, "the army in Iraq is [not] just like the Iraqis" and by that I mean that in my experience the moderators had agendas that were in some cases antithetical to the members of the forums at BT1; additionally, I mean that people tend, in my overall experience, to want The Good, and do The Good, so moderators are like saying that people aren't good and don't want to do good. To me, armies should only be used against real enemies, not against kids, mums, grandparents who are doing nothing other than living... maybe not living with the same kind of carpet we prefer, but living in terms of breathing, eating, caring, just exactly like us.

To me, the forum was working really well without moderators.

But... I've also thought a lot about other forums I go to, and I realized that all of them have moderators. So it's only the moderators here that scare me, presumably because of BT1.

[ConsiderThis]

I haven't read any of my PMs here, yet. But some people wrote to me using my email address, to them (and everyone):

You know, it wasn't the mean post that made me leave as much as it was the idea of moderators ... the way they were at Brain Talk 1... I just began thinking that the mean post was done with the intention of having moderators installed, with that in turn leading to me being targeted in a much more destructive, but apparently acceptable, way.

See, I can understand an individual being mean spirited... bad day, more pain, outlet.

But the moderator thing at BrainTalk1 was so... hurtful, to say the least. Because, I think, it "seemed" to represent a consensus.

On the other hand, I've been thinking about how there are moderators on pbs, and while they delete posts periodically, and there are several people who have new names, presumably because the old name has been banned, overall I don't feel threatened by the mods there.

But then, pbs isn't a forum where you actually get particularly close to people. I mean, someone posted a quite nice poem for me the other day, and someone may be bringing me some worms for my garden, but overall it's an argumentative place where people often choose to be one-dimensional.

Going on from yesterday:
I got sick when I left; the stress, I think, caused it. I really liked so many people on BT2. So if I got as sick as I did after only a few days of bonding... what would it be like if I were there a long time and then the people were organized and were trying to get me out... that would be worse.

I mean, how do we know that the moderators from BT1 are not among the moderators on BT2? They were secret, as it were, on BT1.. so how do we know?

Do you know?

[ConsiderThis]

I wrote a second email response, too:

Thank you again for writing to me.

It's peculiar how "scared" - maybe apprehensive is a better word - I feel about coming back. I don't feel this apprehensive about spiders, even the black widows that appear to live at the front of my house.

I think, now that I've introduced the idea of the spiders, that I feel pretty confident that the black widows are living their lives with no malicious thoughts directed at me. I'm pretty sure they aren't planning to stalk me or anything... so I don't feel threatened by them.

I had a tiny black widow living below the window above my kitchen sink at my condo. It was tiny, so it wasn't scary, and I was impressed with the number of ants it got. I didn't "have" ants, so I wondered if the reason was the black widow.

It would always run and hide when I turned on the water.

But then it was getting quite a lot bigger, so I was thinking I didn't want to accidentally bash its web and get bitten, so I wiped the web away, thinking the little spider would move outside.

It moved to my stove top. I didn't cook very many things at once, so I almost never turned on the burner where it had decided to build its new web.

But, still...

So, I decided I'd better take it outside. I thought about that for awhile, sort of picturing it in my mind... I sometimes think that very clear mental images have a way of being "seen" by others who are receptive, even insects.

When I went to the stove to take it outside, the spider went behind the control knob, which I knew came off. I hoped it would stay behind the knob, on the knob, and that I could take it outside to the back by the fence way at the back. Sure enough... it stayed right on the knob, and I kept talking to it.

I remember that I passed the condo director who was so instrumental in me losing my condo because the association refused to pay their share of the privy pit remediation, and I hoped he wouldn't kill the spider, so I stopped talking to the spider, so as not to alert him.

The condo association director was certainly much MUCH more dangerous than the black widow.

Though until this moment, I had never really thought about it like this, in terms of an actual comparison.

Thank you again for writing. I think I may post this story ... to start.

(I posted this first, but then I edited so that the two emails would be in chronological order.)

[Rocking4Epilepsy]

Hi
I am glad to see you back posting with us...
I just want to say if you ever see any moderator or member not being fair or have any concerns please contact Kimmy or Doc and I know they will do their best to resolve any issues.

We are all human and we all do made mistakes but hopefully we can all work together and make this site a great place for all to be.

Hugs

[Chemar]

Consider This
I am so glad you came back and I echo what Rocking4Epilepsy just posted.
DocJohn has made it very clear that he will not permit mods to have the kinds of roles here that they had on OBT, and that he and KimmyDawn are the only ones who have administrative control, and that even there, they seek to be understanding and flexible, and not domineering.

I can also assure you, as you mentioned the possibility that the mods here may have been mods on OBT, that I most definitely was NOT EVER a mod on OBT !

I really hope you will stay Consider This and that you will be safe here.
I applaud you for returning and for explaining to us so clearly how you feel.

[janster]

Welcome back Big C!
PM forthcoming! Thank you!
Hugs,
Jan

[kimmydawn]

ConsiderThis,

I'm glad to see you.

Again I'll say, the moderators work as a team. They do not have the capability of banning, suspending, etc. They do not have access to members' personal information. They have agreed to be, and so far have been, out in the open. Decisions are agreed upon as a team (as many as can weigh in and who are online), and not by an individual moderator (unless it's a requested action by a member regarding their own post/edit). Moderators are accountable for any actions taken to their co-moderators and to administration. Also, you'll notice that I'm online alot.

Also, in mentioning decisions/actions, you'll find those to be different as well, I think. Suspensions are rare and after many warnings; bannings even more rare. If one posts something that needs to be removed, or addressed in any way, a PM will be sent in explanation...not a suspension...certainly not a banning (unless it's the obvious spammer).

Goals (as well as the practices) are different here regarding moderation/administration than they appear/appeared to be on some other sites, and many are working very hard to preserve everything wonderful about the OBT, but work on wanted/needed changes necessary as well. We're a "work in progress".

I've said this before, and I'll say it again...I know that only time is going to help with some things. I, one of the many, am dedicated to showing over time that things can be different. I realize, too, that my words can appear just that...words. I hope they become shared realizations based on shared goals over time.

I will share something without alot of detail...I know it's hard to trust after being hurt/injured/let down/uncared for. I'm a survivor of abuse. These things I do understand. Only time, and learning, helped me to trust and believe again. It's been more than worth it for me.

I've read of so much hurt, distrust and even fear. I hope that time and positive action(s) can alleviate those, as it can many things.

All my best,

KD