bless your heart! i know what it is to lose a husband. i lost mine 9 years ago and i thought i was going to die myself. it was the worst thing i've ever gone thru, as we had just gotten married the year before. my husband died 12 days before our first anniversary. we learned he had cancer 5 months after we got married, and it had already spread to where it was inoperable.

i'm so very sorry for your loss. it is devastating, and i know you're grieving. there are basically 5 stages of grief: shock, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. we go thru those stages at our own pace. grieving can take a long time, and some people take longer than others to recover. please don't let anyone try to tell you that "you should be over it by now." that's nonsense. you will know when you're beyond the grief, as we never really get "over it." just make sure you take care of YOU while you grieve. eat well and get the proper amount of sleep if you can. and come here to vent if yolu need to. God bless and take care. hugs, lee