Please go talk to your Dr. They do give medicine for this. Don't beat yourself down. We do love you, even tho we have never meet. I think of you so often and pray things will get better. You need to reach out and let others help you. Most of us don't know how or what to say. I do relize the grief is bothering you so, and seems to overwhelm you. I have felt it too, but not as bad as you. It does help to just get it out and we are here to listen. My dr. gave me some medicine and it made a world of difference. I don't need it anymore, but was thankful at the time.
Blessings,
Billie