My Mom passed away last week (2/5/12) she lived in Omaha, I live in San Diego, When I got the call mom passed, I cried hard, I thought at the time I would be ok as last year I went to see mom 6 times and everytime said my good byes, I went home for funeral, held up great, even spoke saying we have grieved now is the time to heal to celebrate her life. anyway I got back to San Diego and it hit me again, I cried last Friday and this past Sunday (2/12/12), I have had panic disorder for 18 yrs and found a program that has given my life back to me 2 yrs ago, I started to live again. I was off celexa as of 12/31/11 and 2012 was suppose to be my year. then I had a appendix burst 2 weeks ago and my mom pass away last week, I am really working on separating my mind racing (Anxiety vs. Grieving) I am thinking of starting celexa again, but I have feelings that this is normal to grieve and do I really need to start on Celexa again? I just hate the 2 times my mind started to race with thoughts about my health and losing my mom. any suggestions , thanks Samuel.

It's nice to have you here at NT
You've come to the right place for support and understanding.

I'm so sorry about your mom. There's no easy way around it when we lose our loved one. The grief is a stark reality we must face and there are no 'rules' as to how long it takes or how we should deal with it. Allow yourself to cry as many times as you need. We all are unique and our relationship with our loved one is also unique. When I lost my little brother, I felt hollow. I felt as tho I'd never be able to laugh again for the rest of my life, because his wonderful sense of humor was gone. The music in me died - we'd never play our songs together anymore.
I like how you mentioned healing and celebrating your mom's life. I finally got to a point where I could do this with my brother. I still have my moments of course, but that overwhelming sense of darkness has lifted and I can concentrate on all the good times we shared.

I too battle anxiety/depression, so I understand what you are saying.
You've been hit with a double whammy because you've had a traumatic health condition in the same timeframe of losing your mom. This is a heavy burden to have to bare. Try to concentrate on your program that has helped you so much these past 2 years. At the same time, give yourself permission to grieve in your own way. It will take time, but you've successfully risen above the medication and this shows the strength within you. If everything gets to be too much, talk to your Dr and the two of you will determine if you should get back on the meds or not.

The fact that you are here reaching out for support, shows the determination within you to get through this difficult time. We are here for you, so please don't hesitate to share your feelings. We build each other up and that's what makes Neurotalk such a wonderful place.

God Bless you and grant you Peace,
Rae

So sorry to hear of you mother's passing.
When my grandfather died it would hit me at odd times, like whenever the Judd's "grandpa song" came on the radio...
Took a couple of months for the triggering things to stop getting to me.

If you feel, things are getting the best of you talking with a doctor, is a good idea.

The sticky thread at the top of this forum should have info on the steps of grief that might be helpful for you.
here - http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread3044.html

I'm so sorry. Sending you a hug.

Thank you all for your comments, I am reading the link on grieving , I really need to let myself know that it is ok to cry (even though i feel drained afterwards) I also have been taken by the way it hits me for no reason the last couple days, but I am just going with it. I will wait and decide tomorrow if i need to get back on Celexa for a short time, for now I am doing my best, I cried today and walked in the back yard and let it out, I felt anger (but did not know what for) but allowed myself to feel it, hitting the wall but not hard enough to hurt myself. the one positive is when I use to hold feelings in i would get Panic Attacks and now i am just letting it out and it does feel good, again thanks for the support it means the world to me.