Wow! You were so blessed to be chosen to be the one who got to share Minki's life! Your friends sound like great people. Animal lovers seem to gravitate towards each other and together they can manage to make huge differences in the lives of pets.

She is indeed beautiful. I am glad you had this baby in your care. I had scruffy at 4 weeks, until 21 years old.
You bonded with Minky in the best possible way. There is also another way to think about this too. WE and every living thing is composed of energy, energy never dies, it transforms. I do believe in the here after, and that we will see these friends again. I hope this days finds you peaceful. I care. ginnie

Markus, this was a no-win situation. Yes, you felt some guilt walking away at the vet's office, but had you not done the right thing then, and instead watched your pet deteriorate and suffer, you would have felt guilt about that too, and wished you had done something sooner.

I get that. I think those of us who have lost pets ALL get that. But what about experiencing the the feelings of joy and laughter and love and happiness during the years you had her? What about experiencing THAT again?

I agree wholeheartedly with MrsD and those who encourage you to allow another pet to receive your love and share your life.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.

You cannot change the loss of Minki, or replace her, but I don't think that's the way to look at it.
You CAN change, without guilt, the fate of another pet, and fill the hole in your life left by Minki's loss.

There is no hurry, but there are many, many pets waiting for someone like you to love them and give them a home. One of them needs you as much as you need them. It would be therapeutic for both of you.

Doc

I am thinking of you today. Just wanted you to know that. Minky is in my prayers too. Keep in touch with us as NT. I know so many that have experiencd loss like you have. I am not sure I could have recovered as well as I did without the help I got right here. Your tears and heartache are felt with all of us. ginnie

I agree wholeheartedly! Just give it some time and I believe you'll have another chance to make a difference in a pet's life......and them in yours.

Ginnie you wanted to know a bit more about Minki. My sister has 8 cats and I have also visited friends with cats, and most cats have the typical cat behaviors and attitudes. I am referring to when you would call and try to get another cat's attention. They typically will show interest but stay at a distance and when you eventually get to touch them they only allow you little contact until you have won their trust. Or the other side of them is to come and brush their heads and tails against you for attention.
Minki was neither.....she would live in her own world and look at people when they visit me and you could walk up to her and touch her, she would allow that, but then carry on in her world again. Nothing like most other cats. She would steal your heart without you knowing it. Everyone liked her.
When I picked her up in my arms she would always put her one paw on my thumb and lean with her head against my arm. When I bent forward while holding her she would remain in that position and the full weight of her head would be on my forearm. It was so cute to see as she was trusting me fully not to let her fall.
In the evenings she would be lying with me as I watch TV and I would always put my hand, arm or body against her while she sleeps.
At bedtime she would be sleeping where we were sitting in the living room and she will wait for me to carry her to the bed where she would sleep right next to my pillow, and off course my hand or arm would be around her. She would wake up to turn on her other side and then put her body again against my arm and sleep further. She never went out at night but would sleep with me till early morning. Then she would go out and come back in. One little maauw with her little voice and I was always getting up to give her food. Then we would both sleep a little longer again before I had to get up.
I had cat flaps put in everywhere so she could go out at any time. When she was outside in the garden and I would look through the window to see where she was, I could see the little white face from a distance in the dark and she was always noticing me when I did. As if she was constantly looking for any sign of me. I have more to tell you but for now I will end.
My first language is Afrikaans so excuse the English when I make small mistakes with grammar or spelling. It is night time here and you have day now (I think about 7 or 8 hours difference) Thank you for your interest in getting to know more about Minki.

She was awsome. Loved the way she slept with you. That bond was with you both, I can feel that. When she put her head on you with complete trust, and slept by your head. I do believe with all my heart, that some bonds that we have with animals are closer sometimes that what people have with each other. She looked for you, and I bet you wanted to know where she was all the time too. Minky cannot be replaced, and you already know that. Nor will I have my scruffy, unless God grants us that. It is good that you have those photos. My friend made a mural of Scruffy to mark his life. One picture for each of his 21 years. Keep those photos near you and it does help. I don't ever want to feel pain like this again either Markus. Emotionally it is so hard to get over., in fact you only learn to live with it, never really get over it. I can tell you one good thing that happens when your tears stop a bit. You will start thinking more of all the good things there were with minky. I wrote some stories down about Scruffy that I remember from my years with him. Maybe it would be good if you did that too. Some of those special moments are worth writing down and never forgetting. Just like you expressed to me in this post, Keep that as a start, the positions she was in, in your arms, and by your head in sleep. Any antics she did, and keep her toys. She was just beautiful, and looks like a lady too. What you did for her, was the greatest gift you could give, even though it cost you pain. You released her from this life, so that she didn't hurt anymore. One of my friends here is an animal resuce person, who has more compassion than anyone I have ever met. It was into her arms that I placed Scruffy that last day. I know I did the right thing too Markus, and it does cost terrible pain to do that, but neither of our babies have to hurt anymore. It is a selfless act of mercy, and I am sure your minky knew you loved her. That is what I think when I go to cry, like right now. I still do after two years. It doesn't take alot to set me to tears. It is OK to cry anytime. I do, but not as often these days.
Tell me in your first language, I love you Minky... I would like to hear how that sounds in your own language. Any stories you have to share, I am here for you. Keep in touch Markus, grief is a universal language. ginnie

Marcus, you might want to investigate Bombay cats.

They are very owner centered and unique. Almost like a dog.
Smart, learn language, so you can talk to them.

Weezie is an unregistered Bombay, and we didn't know that
when we adopted her. She was the second runt, and very tiny and timid, and no one would adopt her. She was the last kitten in that November litter. Bombay's have a special coat...very glistening like diamonds.

Weezie likes to sleep with me when it is cold or cool out, and she is always with me in some way around the house. She doesn't meow much but goes "wheeeee" instead, and squeals alot. So I named her Weezie. She is a master fetch player too...only she had chosen black twist-ties as her prey. Squealing when I ask her if she is "ready" and wheeeee off I throw it...she brings it back to my feet. LOL She found the ties
on the floor near our new TV set when our son installed it for us. When she was tiny she was obsessed with the cords from the computer, which I had to NO NO about. When she found the twist-ems, she squealed and brought them to me! So I roll them into a spiral and she fetches them now. It is a game we play when it is too cold for her to be on the porch or outside.
Weezie is certainly unique in her own ways too!

Bombay's:
http://animal.discovery.com/tv-shows...eos/bombay.htm

YouTube has many videos of Lava the cat from the Animal Planet video above... this owner takes him everywhere with him!

I could not be with scruffy either when I left him to be put to sleep. This was not for my benefit, but for the woman who put him to sleep. She could not bear my grief, as I am her friend. I left scruffy for HER, so that she could do this and not come unglued. I was already unglued. I felt guilty too Markus, but Minky would have been upset, seeing you upset. They feel that. In that respect, from the cats viewpoint, it is better that they do not feel your sorrow at that time, can you kind of see that? I didn't want my cats last minutes, full of frantic sorrow. All was calm, all was OK, all was peaceful. You gave minky a gift. ginnie

I do get that Ginnie. One thing is that she new her last moments were spent with them and that they are causing her pain and not me because I was not there. Now I will share what really bothers me much from the experience at the vet. She was clearly in pain from the morning already and she did not eat at all. She was moaning when I tried to move her. I knew I had to take her.
A week prior to this specific Sunday I also took her to the vet as she was really irritated with itching around her neck area. She kept on trying to scratch and she was shaking her head in an attempt to get to the itching. Both of us were not sleeping well anymore. When I got to the vet (a week prior to her putting down now) he took a syringe and squirted something into her mouth. She was getting upset and growled at him. He was then going to give her another injection in the neck. She was at this stage already getting the antibiotic injection every 2-3 weeks for several months now, so she knew what was coming, but this time she went mad when he tried to inject the needle into her neck. He then took a blanket and wrapped it around her and I had to hold her for the injection, but again she went mad and came out of the blanket. She was scratching me in the process and then did something she never did before. She stood upright on the table and put both her front paws around my neck. I asked him if she was going to attack me but the doctor said it is her way of asking me to take her away from him. She was not aggressive to me anymore. He then gave me the stuff he was going to inject her and I was told how much to squirt into her food which I did. Apparently he was putting her on hormone treatment. Anyway back at home she ate her food and the stuff seemed to make her better. She was still scratching and shaking her head. I went onto the internet and saw that I had to get an anti histamine medication which will help for the itching in cats with the feline aids virus. So I got something we have here called allergex, and for the first time both of us had a better night sleep. It was then that I noticed these massive sores (like open wounds) on her neck and between the shoulder blades and one on her head. Over the next day or so they just spread and almost became one. I then realized why she was not allowing any needle to get to her neck at the vet.
Then that Sunday morning when she just sat on the chair without wanting to move and not eat. Now for the upsetting part and this is what I regret and I am simply not impressed by the same doctor. He knew her well and her soft nature. I was never forcing her to do anything at anytime. When I took her, a lady who stays in my house (she rents a room in my house) came with.
When I walked in I was told that he was going to first give her a tranquilizer and then after about 15 minutes he would then come and give her the final injection. I started to loose it already and asked if there was a quicker way. I did not want another injection and then she might vomit etc and she could not get another injection in her neck anyway because of the sores. He told me that he could inject her directly into her chest which will be quicker. By this time I could not bear anymore and handed Minki to the lady who went with me. I had to get out and was crying intensely. After a while I went back in and they both came out telling me that she passed without a fight and that it was peaceful.
Off course I started asking the lady about the event and she told me that they wrapped her in a blanket so that she could not see the needle......off course she will associate the blanket now with pain and do not tell me that injecting her directly into her heart is not at first painful to her. Had I known that they would do this, I would have stayed and insisted in a more gentle approach at least try without using a blanket. I could not think clearly when I was there as I have never done this. I think the doctor should have calmed me, explain that for Minki's sake it would be better to go the tranquilizer way or at least try to get a vain in the paw etc. but just because he is scared she might fight they did the blanket thing and my mind can only think what she experienced during her last few moments. The only thing I think gives me hope is that Minki was already in so much pain that she might not have felt the needle......Anyway I just wished that I was not loosing it like that and that I could have created a more peaceful passing over. "Ek het jou baie lief Minki" saying "I love you very much Minki" in Afrikaans.