A person can live their whole life trying to do for others and literally break your back caring for others and making life easier for others....and come to find out....most people really don't give a c--p anyway. Some days I just can't find a good reason why it's all worth it.

I'm sorry. I know a woman who spends every day doing nice things for people; she goes out of her way spending time with less fortunate people, making things for them, taking them out to lunch, etc. and they just expect more and more. She's getting disheartened too.

I guess the you need to take care of YOURSELF first!! if you don't take the best care of yourself, how can you give of yourself to others? You will totally exhaust all your inner strength and hope if you yourself aren't in good mental and physical health.

Be kind to yourself FIRST. Pamper yourself. YOU are important too!!! Hugs, Lee

Dear Friend. I have thought those thoughts myself. These days I try to look at it reverse most of the time.

It's the trying and the doing that matters. It's not how that is received.

I refuse to give up. I'm going to keep caring and probably will be treated like c--p by some people all my life, but I can't stop.

Take care of you. Keep strong. I know how you feel, believe me.

Hi Friend2U...
First of all..what a beautiful name.

Sounds like you are a really good friend and caring human being.

Your post is revealing. You use strong language when you say "literally break your back" for others.

I think this likely means that you have hurt yourself helping another and to make matters WORSE this other person doesn't seem to care or appreciate at all your efforts.

The bible says...love one another AS WE LOVE OURSELVES. (I'm paraphrasing).

The problem is that sometimes we forget that second part.

It is not a loving thing to do to hurt ourselves (to break our backs).

So, if you can help another without hurting yourself...then you might chose to do this sometimes. AND of course if your helping someone who is appreciative and/or who will help you in kind, you might very well chose to help them more often!

Life is often a matter of trial and error. If you are sitting back reviewing this situation and realized it wasn't worth it....that's kind of a good thing.

Sure it stings for the moment. Let it be a moment. A moment in time.

Now, its time to make a correction.

This felt crummy. This wasn't worth it. No, breaking your back for someone else isn't worth it and this goes double if the person is not appreciative, etc.

So, I hope that you can move forward, realize that you must be a kind soul to want to help another in the first place and just make a choice to never hurt yourself when helping others and seek friendships with those who are appreciative and kind (like yourself).

I probably shoudn't have made this post...I was REALLY down in the dumps about something that happened with the person who is most important in my life. Most of the time I can make myself look on the brighter side of things. But this time things just caught up with me. Noone to talk to about it, so turned to NT friends. Thank you for listening.

Lara,
You are right when you said:
"It's the trying and the doing that matters. It's not how that is received." Thanks for reminding me!

Leesa,
You are right...I need to be nicer to myself! I will give that a try...

Vowel Lady,
You are very perceptive! But, this person isn't someone I can replace. We have a lifelong commitment. It's just a situation I deal with...and most of the time I handle it pretty well. I really appreciate your kindness.

Anne, Thank you also for you kindness.

I am feeling better about the situation now. I appreciate your being here for me.

I have had some of the same thoughts myself...but I must agree with some of the others...
You should take care of yourself, but if it makes you feel good to do things for others, then you must continue.