[nattygann]

Hello - I am new to this site. I came here seeking support - advise - a big hug - etc. I don't know if I officially have depression - I had some postpartum depression after a few of my kids - but that has been many many years ago. I have tried anti-depressant medications off and on during that period with very little to no help. I am not always down - nor do I cry a lot. What does happen to me is that when relationships or situations in my life seem less that ideal - I do a tail spin. I have a lot of negative self talk. I know i do many of the "stinking thinking" thought patterns. What is frustrating is that I am logically aware of all this - but seem helpless to fix it. One day I am coping with it all fine - and then I see a photo of a family member or friend or have a conversation with someone and it is straight downhill. By many outside aspects I am a regularly functioning and talented person. People do not see me an an underdog or someone who would have self-esteem issues - but those issues are there in abundance. I feel like I make progress and then a few days later I am back to square one. This circle pattern is really getting to me. Would love any insights......

[Theta Z]

Originally Posted by nattygann

wrote: " By many outside aspects I am a regularly functioning and talented person. People do not see me an an underdog or someone who would have self-esteem issues - but those issues are there in abundance. I feel like I make progress and then a few days later I am back to square one. This circle pattern is really getting to me. Would love any insights......

Hello, nattygann,

I just wanted to respond here a moment to acknowledge your post for help, support, encouragement. You've got a good start by here *asking for help & support*. Please do acknowledge yourself for that.

There are many very good, compassionate,experienced people on NT here, with good info, happy to listen, who have experience being where you are now and can be of good support. I do know how rough it is, to tough-it-out solo. Good for you, for reaching out here on NT. I did so myself just a couple months ago in a renewed effort to build compassionate, helpful support system with those who truly do comprehend.

Any hormonal blood panels been done? Thyroid, T3, T4? Blood levels of Vit.D?
Don't know if your children are young or teens, or your age, or if you're possibly teetering on that perimenopausal precipice as well? If you can see a good endocrinologist for a good "all hormones" check, i.e. not just estrogen check. And yes, I "hear ya" that you don't just want to be thrown a batch of this-that or try yet another antidepressants by your GP.

Keep us posted. We're here for you.

Best regards,
Theta

[Sam]

What ever the underlying cause, what you are experiencing is not normal. Seeing a professional therapist would probably be better than going to your G.P. with the problem. Depending on your insurance coverage, they may pick up part of a psychiatric visit.

Theta has a lot of good ideas. Depending on your G.P., most are not receptive to a patient walking in and telling them what they want done. If you start with a psychiatrist, they can recommend tests that need to be done. You shouldn't have to suffer like this.

Please continue to use the forum and let us know how you are doing.

Sam

[Leesa]

Hi Nattygann - I have to agree that getting some therapy with a good psychiatrist or psychologist is a great idea. I prefer psychologists cause they give more feedback. The psychiatrists I've gone to just seem to sit there and grunt. LOL The last psychologist I went to was AWESOME, and she helped me more than all the other doctors combined!

Therapy is really wonderful, and it gets all the "stuff" out of our dark closets of the mind. And believe me, there is alot of "stuff" in there that we don't even realize that is bugging us. It all messes with our self-esteem and affects our general life. I do hope you'll try it for awhile. One or two sessions won't do it. It could take awhile.I wish you the very best. Please take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[daniella]

Sorry about your struggles. I agree with others about seeing a therapist and psychiatrist. A combo of meds plus therapy plus self help can really get a person to a better place. I do believe as a person who often is "debbie downer" that negative self talk makes you even feel worse. So what I have been working on is even if I feel horrible about myself I try to say positive things or if I say something negative then I try to balance it out with a positive. In time I am hoping it will make me feel it with in.
You stated you will be coping then fall apart and I wondering if you are letting things build up and then you so to speak explode? For myself I try to take things as they come rather then put something off or if something upsets me I try to speak up so that it does not build within. Also if I feel I need support I reach out in ways I can.
Everyone is different but I hope you find what works for you to feel better