I am having a horrible night....actually the worst night I can remember in a long time. Do you ever wonder why you are here? My life has been soooo horrible and tragic. I don't know anyone whose life was as horrible as mine!!! Can anything good come out of somethng sooooo bad! I hate it! My heart is racing and I can hardly breathe...no appretite and can't sleep. Please somebody help me....I am not in the best frame of mind right now. I can't stop crying.....

I came across your post by accident while setting up my google desktop and choosing certain news articles to be posted on my desktop.
I am not familiar with "neurotalk" but I was previously part of a different support group for PN.
Coincidentally, your post could have been written by me. I basically had I guess what you'd call a minor nervous breakdown today. I was on my way home from a dr appt. My cousin was driving. I can no longer drive due to my illness. I just started crying uncontrollably for over 2 hours. Yes, I often wonder why I am here. I haven't had an easy life to say the least. I am here to chat if you'd like to. My hope is that by now you are resting soundly and maybe we could chat another time. Any time! I will keep the post open for a bit to see if you reply. There is never a reason to suffer silently. Seems as though we both need some big shoulders right now.

When you are depressed (as I have been) everything looks so much worse at night. I believed things that I KNOW were not true about myself. Some nights all I could do was "tie a knot and hang on".

I hope you are getting some medical/profession help as you sort things out. It will get better. It really will. I'm praying for you!

Thank you...the things I thought last night were true about myself. I realized all these years I thought I was in a better place than what I really am. Thanks for praying for me...I need it right now.

Thanks littlequeen....I am glad you accidentally found my post. I am having an extremely rough time. By the time you posted...I just logged off. I had to log off and sit still before I did something that I may not be able to recover from. I cried uncontrollably last night and it just hurt so bad. My heart was racing, it felt like someone was sitting on my chest, I was dizzy and shaking. Thanks again for your reply.

Hi ladydeedee,
Is it pain keeping you awake or is it your thoughts? Maybe both?

Do you have someone there at home with you?

Do you have someone near you that you could call and they could come and spend some time with you?

I'm not sure at this point of writing what health issues that might make you feel the way you describe. I know you've posted here in the Depression Forum, but just worried you might have something going on that may be part of some physical illness you have already.

Edited to add:

I just re-read your last post. What do you mean?

You hold on there. You will get through this terrible time. Just have to hold on. Just have to remember the other times you may have felt this way and how you got through it.

Lara,

No I don't have any pain. Just my thoughts. No one close to me that can come to spend time with me (or that will for that matter). I am alone here. If there is physical illness (besides vision) I am not aware of it.

Was just checking...

You hold on there. You'll be OK.

Thoughts. Yeah, those thoughts can be a right pain!

It's midnight where I live. I guess it's morning where you live? I hope you can get a little sleep soon and wake up to a better day. You're not alone.

Just over two years ago, I felt the same way you do now. I attempted to overdose. The doctors said there was no medical explanation for how I survived - it could only have been divine intervention. Today, I am soooo grateful that I survived. You're doing the right thing by reaching out. Please know that I CARE and that sooo many other people do too!

Thank you Katie...thank you for caring. I am glad you are still here also. THank you for sharing your experience....