FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Today's Posts |
12-03-2017, 07:36 PM | #641 | |||
|
||||
Senior Member
|
I wish I was numb, I don’t want to feel anymore ever. It hurts too much. He’s moving in with her and yet he says he still wants counselling. They’re exchanging emails. It turns my stomach as they declare their love and excitement to see each other. Why can’t he see he replaced one addiction for another. I wish it didn’t hurt so much, I wish I hated him.
__________________
I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
12-04-2017, 01:22 PM | #642 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
Quote:
Not that easy to let it all go And to be quite honest Why should you let go of the good times If there are This isn’t something one can just kick yo the curb without revisiting where did it begin to change Or maybe the question should be When did I stop being everything I’m not And getting nothing that makes me happy in return This is the part that really really gets me Why is it so hard to step aside and man up or woman up STEP ASIDE do the adult thing the humane thing in or out of sobriety And do whatever But have the nuts to man up and say something Not to mention to just follow the Ten Commandments Infidelity a no no Why is it so difficult to do the right thing AND STRP ASIDE PERIOD So To all those who do not have the decency of respect I command you to step aside before I crush you And don’t you forget it It will hurt You hold on to what feels good only Live Me
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (12-04-2017), RSD ME (12-11-2017) |
12-06-2017, 05:37 AM | #643 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
My life forever changed
My life in other people’s hands days have gone by And I’m still waiting for my recertification for food stamps The only thing I get help with Not a word I don’t want to have to be on the phone all day Oh how very wrong this all is My job My job Gone I had a good job A job made for me as corruption came and bit the in their butt Gone I don’t like javeing to wait to see if we will have to ration as we already do I’ll be on the phone all day Waiting for someone to pick up the phone This is so wrong So wrong No reason for the delay Me
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
12-07-2017, 10:12 AM | #644 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
To see her in a sad state
Of course Mimma doting over her live nurse Mimma She loving it Anything to make her feel better Cancelled dentist appointment For the new year Having to do do do And I do All I can Hold me up Heavenly Father Hold me tight In your arms I stay Saddened won’t let it evolve into depression Just won’t allow it I have what it takes mentally Thank you for my gifts in my day Hold me Father Amen
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (12-07-2017), RSD ME (12-11-2017) |
12-08-2017, 07:36 AM | #645 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
There is this hole in my gut
I don’t know where it comes from but it finds its way Meditate I do Heavenly Father comes to rescue me But why do I have a hole in my gut It it a horrible feeling Something I battle with It has been void for a bit but it comes and Gods its way down deep I have spoken to my family And we will all be together here for Christmas Speaking to my child was so refreshing To know my son still struggles Found his way to the rooms Met up with one of my good friends Someone my children thought was the father of my last pregnancy What wrong with me What is wrong with this mind Why does it do the things it does Why do I have a feeling of doom It is a horrible feeling Horrible I have a good strong sense of self I listen to what this world is going through The changes of what the holiday season means Since when has the birth of Jesus Christ come into question What the hell does “happy winter” mean Oh sweet Jesus what is the afterlife going to be like Why am I thinking like this why Why can’t I just wake up and be or feel like I want to be here What happened to this body mind and soul How can it shift so drastically from one moment to another Who is paying attention Why should anyone feel this way Just because There has got to be a reason What that is I do not know But I can say this I do not like it Want it Push it away But it always finds its way into my being What is it Where does it come from How can it take such a hold on me Meditate I do What is going on with this world What is going on Heavenly Father come to me Hold me tightly Make it go away please In your name I ask Show me the way
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
12-10-2017, 06:28 AM | #646 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
I do not appreciate a company who takes from my account
Causes me to go into a negative At a cost of 35.00 charge and not have my product That just ****** me off to no end 35.00 is much to me when I live limited I told them do not draw until the middle of the month Did they listen no Could I talk to anybody No It is the weekend Have to wait till tomorrow ****** off I am
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: | PamelaJune (12-11-2017), RSD ME (12-11-2017) |
12-10-2017, 07:10 AM | #647 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
May it be seasonal
May it be situational Who the blank blanken know But I don’t like it Having a tough time with this broken body But my mind means more to me than my body I am never going to get better in them neck of the woods But my mind is a different matter Had a tough time with sleep I woke to void this morning and my hair stuck to my face I was crying in my sleep Wish I knew why But my hair It’s evident I was crying If I only knew why Why What was my brain thinking I don’t remember my dreams anymore I love to dream That’s taken away And when I think of a good friend and what they are going through Brings me home to how I have treated myself Hanging on Hanging on Still hanging on Nobody should have to feel like I do I doesn’t feel good My body wants to be comfortable It is so broken Is everything falling apart I feel like I’m never going to get to wherever it is I’m suppose to be going I pray I’m not falling into another sad place I need to feed this brain It is in a crappy place Help me Heavenly Father Help me Help me be free of this feeling Rip it from me I your name I ask Amen
__________________
someone who cares eva |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
12-11-2017, 01:38 AM | #648 | |||
|
||||
Senior Member
|
Eva your strength is your grace, you share it willingly with us all. Our tears at night shed unknown perhaps for a reason to spare us more despair. Hold on my dear friend, hold on, we will take this journey together, our broken bodies with many more NT.rs turning to this site for help, strength and even sanity.
My tears that were once endless 2 years ago now not so willing to traverse my face. Perhaps it a blessing what is happening to me now, didn’t take place 2 years ago, I fear I would not have been able to cope, I’m not strong now, but then, I was not a willow bending in the wind, I was a patch of grass trampled beneath. A willow will survive strong winds, it will bend and bow but it will survive, a strong oak tree, in the winds will not bend, its boughs will break. We are willows my friend, we are willows.
__________________
I can still remember what life was like before pain became my life long companion |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
12-11-2017, 01:58 AM | #649 | ||
|
|||
Magnate
|
Pam,
Thank you for your insight. Well put. You will take better care of yourself instead of being "a patch of grass". I like the phrase "we are willows"....Yes we must be........ Gerry |
||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
12-11-2017, 08:04 AM | #650 | |||
|
||||
Grand Magnate
|
What a beautiful explanation that you get when thinking of it
How awesome it made my body feel How important it is for one to be validated Not just because But as it is a real matter and is happening Validate the pain Bury it if you can That will never work As the tree sways as it may Holding on to the windy days For it is it’s tribulations it feels Holding on Going with the wind And the the calm The wonderful calm Is serenity Reaching for the ground To wrap yourself in its beauty The willow tree It is my wish that we understand our journey is completely our own And all that happens is our story Some are beautiful and some are ugly I turned the TV On To hear a story of a young man in grammar school Who has been bullied Pouring milk on him shoving food down his shirt It ripped my heart out as this mother videotaped him and how it felt for him It went viral May this young man become the angel he became for many who was afraid to talk A child is on a road the moment they are born It is up to us the villageand by that I mean the school and where were the adults What were these children who bullied this young man and what was going on that they cannot see that is wrong Where did they learn that bullying is okay when it is clearly an evil doing My son now at a height 6’9” was builled when he was in school And I had to handle this in the early 80’s Because he was so tall and skinny And two decades before him I was bullied Deemed second tallest girl in grammar school Standing straight my top height 5’9” And boy did it come in my favor for the rest of my life Yup tall lanky sexy momma My height how many wish they had And I would tell them be happy with who you are and what we are given It wasn’t a name I liked “big bird” Nope Didn’t do anything for my self esteem That’s what I got out of my height And it always are the shorter than average man that would be interested Oh the stories I could talk about Living as a reputable sexy waitress for well over a decade In the same town And to run into them Priceless sometimes That’s all I have to say about that The job I loved most in all my corporate bull In the end working for my town I lived in since coming into this country at 5 I swore I would never work in city hall I do NOT LIKE POLITICS But it was the right time And the right thing 12 and a 1/2 years And was always red flagged keeping them honest they would be aware when I was in a room And I loved it Because the truth is the truth Can’t manipulate the truth And my relationship with my boss the mayor Knows me well I still call upon him Know Don’t lie to me Caught him in a few It’s poopy to have to go through so much corruption in my lifetime I’m in absolute awe at the enormity of it And I sway like that willow and entangle the truths that need to be addressed Where were the adults For this young man And what about the other kids around watching I watched him as he asked the question to his mother Why do they do that It’s hurting him And he tells others to stay strong that it will get easier as you get older Not true The adults who are trained to be child educators Roll models to many This you man surly was a role model to anybody listening To remember that awesome analogy of who we are I hope Heavenly Father is pleased with us We try and do the right thing I am And this poppy negative whatever wants me And I won’t let it take me Thank you of the reminding me who I am and who I strive to be With much love Today I take Eva to the doctors She is not getting better Three day rule To the doctors today Love Me
__________________
someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 12-11-2017 at 08:45 AM. |
|||
Reply With Quote |
"Thanks for this!" says: |
Reply |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
can't take anymore | Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome | |||
Not sure anymore | New Member Introductions | |||
just cant do this anymore | Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) | |||
Please help - cant take it anymore! | Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD and CRPS) | |||
What Should I do, I just don't feel wanted anymore | Survivors of Suicide |