Hi Joanna

Your despair about your condition is something many of us can relate to. This forum is one place to get caring support but I sense that you would like to have more one to one contact and support and to share your experience with someone who knows what you're going through.

I'm don't know what part of South UK you are in but here's a link to a Chronic Pain Support Group in Suffolk. (Run by patients for patients)

http://www.chronicpainsupportgroup.c...x.php/meetings

Even if they are not near you maybe you can contact them and they can tell you if there is a group (or maybe an individual member) nearer to you.

I understand your son is very important to you but in order to continue being strong for him it's essential you take some time just for yourself to recharge your own batteries. If you're able to put in place some sort of occasional care for him (family or friends maybe?) and allow yourself time to just do whatever you need to sustain your own well-being.

Take care - we're here whenever you need to vent.

Hi all, thankyou so much for your lovely replies. Just reading these has made me feel less alone

I have a fear of losing my son so end up trying to keep him close. I think this isn't good for him always as I do so much with him but I struggle to keep on top of it all. Sadly, without him, I end up feeling depressed and lonely. But, I want him to have a good life. He does see his dad often and that is great for him and gives me a whole day and sometimes 2 days a week to myself. ALthough it can be depressing, it is better that way for both of us so I will continue to make the most of that. I really do hide it and no one would ever imagine this is how I feel.

Bluesfan, there was a perfect little group near me which I found online. When I contacted the group they explained it no longer met up as there weren't enough people to keep it going. I'm now doing more thorough research and will make contact with more using the link you provided. Thankyou so much.
Yes, it is wonderful to have even on line support but I desperately want closeness with people in person in one form or another. Ideally those who can relate. An in person support group like this would be perfect. I will keep looking for something like this.

Do all of you here have partners? How has it been for you/them having the addition of illness? I ask this because the person I am now is an absolute shadow of who I was when I was healthy. I could never keep up with any element of that life now. Plus I have a little one. But, it is the health and my ability I see as the barrier more than anything. A part of me also fels like I could not cope with a partner in any sense as they would put too much on me, would not understand and would not always 'see' what is going in and therefore lose patience, understanding etc.

It is strange that you happened to ask this. Here I am, sitting on the floor taking a break from packing. My husband and I can no longer get along at all. Everything that I have tried to relieve some of the tension between us ends up making things even worse. I spent the weekend away with my parents to come home to him high and looking for an argument. I decided to change moving out from next weekend to Wednesday.

There was support for a while, but that all faded away. I am now the one who is supposed to be there to take care of both of us while dealing with CRPS, depression and some rather bad anxiety attacks.

We have been struggling with our ups and downs in our relationship for a few years now. He has been overly controlling, and abusive in a verbal and psychological way for most of our relationship. I have let it go on for too long mostly because I am very shy, soft spoken, and have some self esteem issues. I was finally just pushed too far. Our separating was bound to happen sooner or later. I just don't like the way it is happening.

Not all relationships are like this though. I know if this were to happen to either of my parents, the other would be right there for them, taking care of every need for the other. It all depends on how strong the relationship is and what type of personality both partners have.

That must be exceptionally hard to deal with. I always had this idea that one would be sick and the other partner would take care of them and lessen the emotional burden / fear. If you are dealing with that I can see how it would be easier for you in some ways to be alone. The hard thing is these awful illnesses don't just ' go away' and then we are all better again.
I have read your recent posts. It sounds so tough. Your partner has his own issues he is working through and is directing all his huet and anger at you. Which is too much when you are dealing with crps.

Alaina,

I am happy that you have found the strength to leave and get away from a situation that was clearly untenable. You are the most important person in the equation. Those we love can be very cruel when they no longer can take from us a strength that is not theirs to demand.

Alaina,

You are in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time.

peace,
zinnia

Hello, Joanna!
I'm not much good in the words department, but I wanted to tell you that there will always be people who can relate to you, understand you and support you. I'm new to this forum, but I can already see that there are a lot of kind and helpful people here who will gladly lend an ear.
While depression has to be battled with, it is understandable that you will feel this way while going through so much. I'm glad to hear that you find moral support in your son. Kids may be trying at times, but the kind of link that a parent has with their child is incredible.
I've been fighting depression, anxiety and BPD for most of my life. Ten years ago I thought that there will never be anyone in this world for me, because nobody will be willing to put up with all the baggage of violent outbursts and fears and my inability to function in the socium. I'm married for 6 years now, and I'm still disbelieving that someone so supportive has stuck up with me. And although I'm only reading messages, it seems to me that you are a great person, and you shouldn't doubt that you deserve to be loved and cherished.
I wish you all the best that is possible

Hi Quanta,

Thank-you, what a lovely message. I'm really pleased to hear that you have someone so understanding in your life. He clearly loves you enough to accept all of you and that is really inspiring. :-)
I think my first hurdle would be explaining what I have and even getting anyone to understand it. I didn't even know exactly what neuropathy was before I became unwell with bizarre symptoms. Got to laugh about it though sometimes! I find it easier to do that when I've treated myself to a tramadol ;-)
Hope you are managing to keep things on an even keel. I know what you mean when you talk about fears. That is the key word to explain how I feel most days with the depression this has brought on. It's a horrible, anxious, shaky fear about everything. Tramadol does really help with that though. Thanks again for your kind words