I have been back and forth between suicidal and semi-ok for the past two years now. I don't know what to do. I am still waiting on insurance to go see a doc. I want to move out in January on my own but I am terrified that things will get worse, and I may even get into trouble being on my own. There are too many things to get ready and I don't know how I will manage to pack in between working. I just want to get out of the house anyway possible. I have become a monster. I used to be a nice person, but now I get angry over little things.

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. Please take care of yourself and get some help now. Don't wait until later.

Resqgirl, it's really great hearing from you again... I can empathize with that up and down emotional roller-coaster you describe, and I'm sorry it's had such a strong hold on you for so long. I too am going through a situation where I shall have to move out of my home and find a new place to stay. It only adds a ton of stress to an already fragile situation.

I wish you the very best in sorting things out and finding some level ground.

Idealist