[shezbut]

I had surgery to treat intractable complex partial seizures 3/06. One of the side effects of this surgery was a change in personality, due to the amygdala able to become more normal. My emotions were completely overwhelming to me for a good year. This resulted in marital and family problems.

In 3/07, I slipped on the ice and fell upon my head. A minor traumatic brain injury which increased the negative symptoms of my surgery. One positive aspect is that I didn't require a stint in my brain to relieve pressure, as I had extra space from my partial temporal lobectomy. I began having frequent auras after the TBI, and underwent lots more tests, to be sure my brain was okay. Another year or so later, I finally got off the phenobarbital (while in the epilepsy monitoring unit at Mayo Clinic for a week).

I've since continued to have regular auras, which doesn't concern my epileptologist too much. I really don't want to be taking medication for the E anymore anyway ~ I take lots of other meds to control my (borderline personality) mood disorder, sleep, etc. I always get worried after nights like last night though. I remember going to bed, and that's about it. It reminds me of when I had complex partial seizures right before falling asleep. I had no memory in the morning. I just recall waking feeling kind of strange for no apparent reason ~ which is where I am right now.

I don't know what to do. I've got enough problems. I've had absolutely countless EEG's, MRI's, and several intelligence tests. I've also been on lots of anti-epileptic meds, but these de ja vu's scare the heck out of me. After so many years of uncontrollable sz's, these dippy scary de ja vu's really shouldn't bother me. But they do. And waking feeling funny, without memory of saying "goodnight" makes me suspicious.


I'm just depressed ~ tired of it, and I feel alone. Thanks for listening..

Shez