Am I being too stubborn here? A friend keeps trying to get me to go for counseling to help me "deal with my situation". Well ... I don't really see the point. I know I have mood ups and downs, but honestly, if I am if a flare I can't speak (literally, no voice) and I certainly don't need the extra stress of trying to find transportation to and from an appointment. And when I am better, I certainly don't want to waste precious time and energy on this.

I suppose I simply don't really have much faith in psychotherapy. When I feel down, I either go do something productive, bend a friends ear, or exercise. Why would talking to a stranger be better than my best friends? Frankly, I'd rather crochet and listen to music; I know the funk will pass. So I wait fairly patiently, try not to overdo, and enjoy what I can whenever I am up to it. I don't despair, I don't think depressive thoughts. But my friend thinks I am depressed whenever the brain fog keeps me from following a conversation or the exhaustion makes me feel like staying home and not being social. Difficulty eating and sleeping is just part of the flare package. Perhaps I should add that both my husband and my Mom agree with me on this, so I think I am painting a realistic picture here.

Or put this another way: I have this incurable disease that has robbed me of my energy and my ability to work or do many things I used to enjoy. I am surrounded by millions of people who would like to kill me (I am Israeli, not paranoid!), and someone is threatening to drop a nuclear bomb on my head in the near future. Frankly, I think I'm handling this pretty damn well!!

Any comments? Am I missing out on something that really helps? I am listening :icon_wink:

I have been going to therapy for years and it does help. Family and friends I hate to say eventually get sick of hearing about how you feel. It doesn't mean they are bad people and bad friends it just means they can't possibly identify with what you are going through.
Therapists are trained to listen and understand and maybe see things that you or your friends can't. They can give advice about those "funk" times, though it seems you do a great job about working on it.
Now all therapists are not equal. Some are better than others. I have been through 5 therapists for various reasons (mostly because of moving) and all of them were different in how they approached my issues. Some of them eventually lost their shiny newness and had an agenda for my issues, which wasn't an agenda I didn't accept or agree with.
So I would give it a try. If you don't like the person, try another one. If you don't like the whole idea, then you can stop. But keep in mind that it takes time and just a session or two won't be your epiphany.
Good luck!

Has your friend read up on fybro?-
so maybe to understand it better.

I don't have fybro - I have TOS and some myofascial pain & triggerpoints at times- so similar in some ways.
I do have concentration problems and short term memory issues at times during flare ups.
the old brain fog thing - then at other times brain/memory/attention span is fine - but will get bogged down after much heavy concentration.

It sounds like you are coping well - maybe the friend just thinks it will change things.
If she hasn't read up on it {fybro} that might be a good thing if she is willing to do that.

My PC has been trying for two years to get me to consent to seeing a psychologist who specializes in depression resulting from a chronic illness. I have FMS, and another illness also. Just a few weeks ago I finally consented to give the psychologist a try. But I haven't been there yet. What I am really hoping is that the person I see will be able to teach me how to better look after myself.

I'll be glad to let you know how it goes for me, but I've come to the conclusion that at this point, anything that might help me at all is certainly worth at least trying.

Thanks for your input guys. I probably will give it a try, too. Ihope it helpr you too, idealist.

I am glad to see that you will give it a whirl. Like I said it can't hurt much.... Just kidding. Hopefully you will find one you like right away.

Here's an update on the psych consult: I saw a lovely guy who teaches biofeedback in addition to his counseling practice. We talked about my situation and he said I don't appear to have a problem with depression. We tried the biofeedback, and I think it might be helpful for me to practice that sort of deep breathing thing, which I expect I can do on my own. But as counseling, it isn't ideal: he is not familiar with chronic fatigue/fibo/brain fog -- and his available hour is late evening, and his office is up a steep flight of stairs.

I would like to start counseling with someone who is familiar with the issues we face living with chronic illness. But there isn't one anywhere nearby. I live in a very rural area, with almost no public transportation, and I can't drive. But -- I have a friend whose mother was a psychiatric social worker as well as an MS patient. When she couldn't get out anymore, she counseled people by telephone. That sounds great, especially now when we can use things like instant messaging. For me, that would be ideal anyway, just because when I am not doing well my voice doesn't work properly and I can't be heard.

I have absolutely no idea how to find a counselor who would be willing to work with me this way. Does anyone have any ideas?

Best way....ask. That is all you can do. Explain your situation and if the person is willing I don't see the problem. Its the same interaction, same amount of time. But the downside is that they can't see you and your body mannerisms. Sometimes they tell more than your voice can.
The biofeedback sound like a great idea for you, but keep trying on the talk therapy.

I think a therapist is an excellent idea if it's someone that's good and you like them. The therapist I've seen off an on for years is a gem.

She's suggested biofeedback and if insurance would cover it I would consider it.

Something I never did before, but started recently, is listening to some meditation tapes my massage therapist gave me. They are really good. A therapist in Colorado does them. Her name is Diana Keck.

Hugs. We understand for sure.

the phrase "seeing a therapist" should be banned from our vocabulary! It sounds like dating! Therapy is more like a guide into your heart for your life journey. It can really be terrific. As a first step, I recommend reading a quick summary of the different types of therapy because there are several approaches: supportive, cognitive, etc. If you have mood ups and downs, cognitive therapy teaches you tools to control those ups and downs, and how to use your intellect to control your emotions. Anybody who lives with chronic pain can benefit from an individual trained in pain management techniques giving them tools and tips (that is what a therapist does) adapted to your own life. Finally, if a friend keeps suggesting you should go - they're probably right. Often friends and family see things about ourselves long before we are able (or willing) to see them in a mirror. I have found that therapy is the most useful when you have unfixable problems.
Just my perspective... I was dragging kicking and screaming into therapy initially, but I wouldn't be alive today if I hadn't been. I still have FM and tons of other crap in my life (no bombs yet) but my mood swings are smoother, and my friends are very grateful for that! I did it for them, and for my children.