Good afternoon.
Brief introduction, I just joined the site in hope to get some feedback that may point me on the right path toward treatment.

I've recently seen my doctor for my ADD. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 3rd grade, I am currently 23. I am a college student, major in biology and chemistry, will further my education to become a pharmacist so I know a couple things here n there. Anyways, my doctor keeps giving my Antidepressant after Antidepressant. Since I know her fairly well, I dont want to ask for Adderall because it sounds like thats all I want, especially being a college student. Now, I have taken it a couple times before from a friend and it works extremely well. I've never felt more in tune with the world. I didnt get high nor did I feel jittery, I just felt... normal. My mind was at peace, it wasnt bombarding me at 100 mph with thoughts and ideas. But if I tell her that, I feel almost emberassed because what i did is highly illegal, but honeslty, I have no choice anymore. My work life and education is effected like never before, my grades are dropping significantly. The only reason Im depressed and anxious is because of school, nothing else.
Im a very happy, positive person otherwise. & if it wasnt for my lack of focus and concentration, I would never be depressed or anxious. How should I go about approaching this situation so that I can get Adderall prescribed? All the antidepressants are making me feel pretty much the same way, but idc about depression, I can live with it. Idc about anxiety, I've stopped taking Xanax because Ive learned natural ways to cope with it. I just want to feel normal, to think normal, to be normal.

Thank you for your feedback and sorry about the long post. I didnt know how else to sum up what Im going through.