I can't help but think I have brain damage. Sometimes, particularly when I am tired, especially mentally tired (like after having to think really hard for a long time like at work) I try to talk and the words are just not there. I'll stand there and try to think of what I want to say and in my mind I just see like this big empty white space. Normally when I am talking or writing, if I think about, I am always visualizing the words I'm saying in my mind. But when I get stupid like that, there is just this blank white space. Also I sometimes will say the totally wrong word than I want to say, like instead of "can I have that pencil?" I'll say, Can I have that porcupine? needless to say, this is a bit embarrassing. I also have the problem, particularly with numbers sometimes I will look at them and I know I'm seeing the text but the meaning is just not there. Like, what are these random markings? Or I will read words, and I can read them and say them but the meaning is not there. And I don't mean hard words, just like simple words...sometimes if I say them out then I will get it. All of this stuff really only happens when I'm tired.
I also have a really really bad memory. This is constant. I constantly am repeating myself because I forgot I told somebody something, I constantly am forgetting to do things or bring things with me or important dates. Sometimes I can't remember not only what day it is, but what month or even season (fall, spring) or year. I used to live in a different part of the country and sometimes I forget that I moved (7 years ago)...or I forget that my kids are now teenagers and get surprised when I see them. These lapses of memory are pretty fleeting and I can usually correct them with a minute or two of concentration but I spend way too much time confused. I also often have no concept of time. This is a really big problem. Like time is losing it's linear quality to me. I do have ADHD and about a year ago, I was on disability for five months...I had broken my shoulder and my diagnosis was only a broken collarbone-basically I walked around with a chunk of bone stuck in my rotator cuff for 5 months-I was in excruciating pain that whole time and I think that my brain kind of partially shut down...now I'm thinking maybe it gave itself some kind of brain damage from the sustained level of pain...or maybe something happened during the surgery. I also (I have rheaumatoid arthritis) about ten years ago had to take methotrexate weekly for five years, I really think that had an impact on my ability to think, too.I am only 42 and other than the arthritis pretty healthy, not overweight, don't drink or use drugs(except the prescribed, including adderall).. I don't know what to do or even should I do anything...this has been going on for about a year, maybe more (remember, no concept of time) any advice?