i was told to talk about my troubles here.
after i got out of school i started thinking of hurting people, very brutally:P
im pretty lonely, and my mind seems to take a mind of its own(that sounds confusing)
i was able to suppress that emotional problem, but then my mind told me that i was a rapist and that all of my female friends were targets. i kept trying to tell my mind that im not that kind of person and i was able to suppress it somewhat, although i still get tortured from time to time.
but now, 7 days ago, my mind started to call me a pedo, unfortunately, it was able to convince me that i was all of these horrible things. i don't know why its torturing me, but it doesn't feel like me, it feels like a horrible sentient or whatever being with its own mind, like i stated before.
it gotten to me so bad, im too scared to go near women,children, and some men, because i REALLY DO think im these things.
im scared!!! i know im not these terrible things that my mind tells me i am.
i've never committed a crime, and the only real problem i've had is my depression, which had been recovering for about 2 years up until these problems started emerging.
i need help. please, someone help me..
i've tried crisis hotlines, they keep redirecting me to other people and asking all these wayyy too personal questions.
i've tried talking to my parents.
they will NOT let me help. they tell me that im bringing them down somehow and thier worried that if i try to find help, then whoever tries helping me will see them as abusive, and knowing them, thier probably scared to get taken to jail.
so im stuck. stuck to become more insane.
stuck to be a slave to my terrible mind.
i don't know what to do, I DONT KNOW!! IM TRAPPED!

Unfortunately this isn't an very active forum, have you looked at our partner site?

http://forums.psychcentral.com/
There might be more members relating to what you are going thru there.

Hi again
I replied to your post on New Members Forum too

The forums at our other site, PsychCentral are filled with caring members who may be better equipped to offer you the support and guidance that you need.
Here is the link
http://forums.psychcentral.com/

Has anyone ever tested you for OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) ? as that can sometimes manifest with excessively intrusive thoughts. I am not saying that is what is happening, just that it may be worth looking into.

I am so sorry your parents are not getting you help, because they should be rather than leaving you to struggle and suffer with all this.
I really think you will find much support at the PC forums.

all the best and I hope things get better for you

Hi there,

What you are going through sounds very similar to what I experienced when I was 12 years old. I definetly had the fears of hurting people, killing myself, going crazy,etc.etc. When I finally seen a therapist, he had theorized that I was just scaring myslef as a means of survival. My mother had subconsciously passed on this type of mind programming when I was a young child. As an adult I realized that I scared myself because my mother was not assertive enough to bring me back to reality. When I was a child, I definetly needed someone to reassure me that things were going to be okay. But I know what you're going through. Its scary as hell. The intrusive thoughts of something bad happening can really break a person down. But there is hope because after about a year my sanity was restored. The OCD suggestion does sound like a possibility. I'm new to this site but the people on here are very insightful and helpful. Keep reaching out!