i was told to talk about my troubles here.
after i got out of school i started thinking of hurting people, very brutally:P
im pretty lonely, and my mind seems to take a mind of its own(that sounds confusing)
i was able to suppress that emotional problem, but then my mind told me that i was a rapist and that all of my female friends were targets. i kept trying to tell my mind that im not that kind of person and i was able to suppress it somewhat, although i still get tortured from time to time.
but now, 7 days ago, my mind started to call me a pedo, unfortunately, it was able to convince me that i was all of these horrible things. i don't know why its torturing me, but it doesn't feel like me, it feels like a horrible sentient or whatever being with its own mind, like i stated before.
it gotten to me so bad, im too scared to go near women,children, and some men, because i REALLY DO think im these things.
im scared!!! i know im not these terrible things that my mind tells me i am.
i've never committed a crime, and the only real problem i've had is my depression, which had been recovering for about 2 years up until these problems started emerging.
i need help. please, someone help me..
i've tried crisis hotlines, they keep redirecting me to other people and asking all these wayyy too personal questions.
i've tried talking to my parents.
they will NOT let me help. they tell me that im bringing them down somehow and thier worried that if i try to find help, then whoever tries helping me will see them as abusive, and knowing them, thier probably scared to get taken to jail.
so im stuck. stuck to become more insane.
stuck to be a slave to my terrible mind.
i don't know what to do, I DONT KNOW!! IM TRAPPED!