Thanks, BP, and everyone else, too. It finally sunk into me that what I hadn't done was to do some forgiving myself. BP, in your analogy, I am the sand— deliberately dropped back onto the beach. For some time, I suppose, I denied that it could be true, but it is. When I finally forgave the abusive behavior, freedom became mine. I will always care a great deal about that person, but I can never again trust in what I believed was a true friendship.

I was just nosing about a bit, and I wanted to thankyou BP. I hope you dont mind, but I wrote that little saying down in my journal so I wouldnt forget it either (with appro footnote credits ).

That puts into words alot of what I've experianced over the past 6 or so years. The harder I try to fix things, the more things are just 'slipping away'. It's not a fast slide, its in almost hideously slow motion, like the progression of an enourmous iceberg.

Maybe instead of holding on with a death-grip, a more gentle hand is required. Kinda a "Let go and Let God" attitude.

God Bless us, Everyone!!!!

Dawn

I truly hope that you've managed to find comfort from the words of these wonderful people.

My situation is different, but having repeatedly suffered so much pain, because of things my sister has said or done to me, I feel for you.

I have no words of wisdom I'm afraid Cindy, but I want you to know that there's a place in my heart for you....and I've tucked you right in there.

Please feel better soon.

I know what you mean in not trusting a person who has abused someone.

On my road of experience,I found that forgiveness starts with a choice. I made a decision to forgive people. Oh it has been hard. Some days I have found that I've slipped,and I had to maintain a forgiveness attitude again,and forgive them again. I might have to forgive them 77 times 7.

I have found that some people can stir up a bitterness about another person again. Again 77 times 7. I have to work at it continually. I hope this helps someone.

Maybe after awhile,that person will forgive you.(Back on subject) It might take awhile,and keep the door open and the person may forgive you. The person may have to start with the choice of forgiveness,and the feelings may come later.

This is a good subject for me too. With forgiveness heelings happen emotionally.

Back on subject,when you ask someone to forgive you and they say no,it is quite a jolt. With me two people come to mind. I forgive them. It's a relief. It's good for some people to forgive 77 times 7. BF