[ewizabeth]

I'm starting to wonder if I should apply for SSDI because of fatigue. I've been job hunting for nearly three months now since we closed the old company and I've only had one interview. I know my age plays against me (I'm 51) but if someone actually hires me, I don't know if I'll be able to hold down a real job.

I worked M,T,TH, & F at my last job and it was very difficult for me to stay awake and stay focused, even with Provigil twice a day.

I started a home based business and it's all set up, have done a variety of advertising, but I don't have the energy to go out to meet people, etc... We've been very slow and I don't know if it will pick up or not. I can't afford to put more money into it, especially if it isn't going to have any returns.

It's hard enough for me to function at home doing regular activities, let alone going to a job each day. And to drive out of town, forget about it.

I would need a comfortable desk and chair and climate control and really, who is going to want to be jumping at the chance for that, at my age? I miss frequently for doctor appointments. I look tired too, the fatigue starts to show on my face after a few hours of any activity.

I adjust my symptoms meds and things go haywire. The ones I take are the ones I need and can't do without. I feel exhausted most of the time. I can get things done sometimes, but those are spurts that last a day or two then I need to rest and take it easy for 3-4 days.

I also take blood pressure meds and anti-depressants and meds to help me sleep. I need baclofen off and on for muscle spasticity. That gets worse if I have to sit for long periods of time. And then of course I go for my monthly infusion that requires an entire day. I'm always tired the next day too and get nothing done then.

I haven't mentioned this to DH or my neuro yet, just want to get some feedback from you all here.

I have always been one to put on a strong front, but that's wearing me out too.

I have always been a hard worker and I hate to think about this, but it's starting to look like it might be necessary?

[karousel]

I have to say one of the biggests issues I had right before I was taken out of work was my fatigue. I realized that I was no longer "living". Just going through the motions of the day. I no longer looked forward to anything because I couldn't see past the next few hours. It was all because my fatigue was so bad. There were other factors that caused my neuro to take me out of work though and that was the main reason for filing for SSDI. I hope you get a lot of feedback with regard to fatigue and SSDI from others who have gone through the SSDI process. I just wanted you to know I understand exactly where you are coming from with the fatigue and working, as I'm sure most MS'ers will also understand.

[Dejibo]

I fought retirement! I didnt want it, I felt cheated, I felt robbed. I thought for sure my life was gonna be over. I went out kicking and screaming until...


once I got some time behind me. Some rest behind me. some sanity behind me. some medications behind me. Some support behind me, I found that my life was a thousand times better. The removal of the stressors of my job, and the pressures that surrounded it were awesome! I no longer had to panic about having meals prepared a week in advance, the laundry, the ironing, the shopping, the housekeeping, the schedules that surrounded mine that needed to be in sync, children that had to be dropped off or picked up, MD appointments, dental appointments, and so on...the list really does go on.


You know it when you reach the point of being ready, and it sounds like you are there my friend. Start being kinder to yourself. Research what you need to do for that SSDI. Make sure you research what your check will be. Can you live on that? Make sure your household budget, and expectations of other family members are in alignment with your own. I think you are ready to simply step up and ask for a chance to take better care of yourself.

[Niko]

Research is a key point. Check in with the Soc.Sec. website -- tons of info there.

Talk to your family and doctors.

I wish you well!!!

Niko

[barb02]

Wiz,

I do not qualify for SSDI, but can apply for long term disability through the state 9pension plan). If you read my post on insights, you know that today I decided to send in my information for our pre retirement glide. I am 52. The earliest I can retire is January 2012, but I am going to try to hold our for May 2012. This was not an easy decision for me to make because in some ways I feel like I will be giving up my identity, and I will have to become more frugal. I understand what you are going through as I am exhausted, and it is only the 5th week of the semester. I just hope I can make it to 2012.

I do not have any words of wisdom regarding SSDI. Hopefully others can give you some good advice.

[Kitty]

Fatigue is one of my worst sx. I honestly could not put in even one day like I used to. There's no way. Add cog fog to the mix and you've got the recipe for disaster.

Make sure your Neuro has noted in your medical records that fatigue is bothering you. SS will be looking at your medical records to determine the course of your disability.

Good luck!

[SandyC]

Awww Wiz, I hope you print out what you just wrote and take that to your neuro. Hand a copy out to dh and anyone else who may need it too. I think what you wrote answered your own question.

[NurseNancy]

gosh, i'm sorry wiz. but i know how you feel.
my pcp told me to quit working a full 2 yrs before i actually did. i too fought it tooth and nail and pushed myself to the brink of my physical limits.

i tried going PT but knew in my heart my time was limited. when i finally told my neuro that i just couldn't do my work anymore he set in motion a bunch of things to start documenting for my disability application.

and, he didn't even argue with me. he knew too. i had functional capacity testing and was surprised at how poorly i did. that set the stage for disability documentation.

please sit down and talk with your dr. and come clean to your dh.
when i finally stopped working i was so relieved. all my stress was gone.
it wasn't a quick process to get approved but in the end was worth it.

[Debbie D]

Wiz,
You've gotten a great deal of advice here...as I told you, listen to your heart...you know, in your soul, what is right for you...
we're all here, dear heart...

[ewizabeth]

Oh, you all help so much, and mean so much to me... What would I do without all of you and this wonderful place that we share?

Anyway, I have been trying to very slowly wean off Trazodone that I take for sleep and when I try to do that, things get worse. I know I need it. I needed it for awhile before I ever started taking it.

If I try to skip a day of Provigil I can't get out of the chair or keep my eyes open at all. This just isn't fair. My dad worked into his 80s. I always envisioned myself as being a mirror image of his health. Why does this have to happen to us. We could do so much in this world, and in this life.

But then maybe I'm putting too much value on employment. Maybe I need to put value on life itself, and its quality?