Yes, it sucks and viewing through the lens that it could be worse does not help the present condition.

I am mentally sometimes "better" at presenting a positive outlook but there is not one moment in my life that I don't wish I could go back to the time when MS was an illness that I was vaguely aware existed as opposed to my reality.

I am still the ONLY person I know with this disease if I disregard NT and any group or event in my area.

I have a few friends that have survived breast cancer. No friends that have MS.

All my friends are still physically fit.

I do not wish anyone ill. Rather, I am envious and jealous. I keep my personal demons from them.

I can get pretty dark!!!