Well, the truly funny part is I too was raised on an indian reservation and was surrounded by native healers. I have seen them! I got spiritual support, but they too understand MS has NO cure! I have seen the vitamin lady who wanted to charge me $1000 to tell me I am low on Vitamin D. I have seen the massage therapist. I am deathly allergic to bees!

The level of intensity in which they keep coming back is amazing to me. As if I just didnt hear them the first 100 times they said it. Seriously, they really have the answer, and I am being naive if I dont take their advice. They get so hurt when I say "my MD and I have it pretty well in hand for now, but thanks." In the early days most would walk away, and be happy with it, but now in a flare, I see a whole new intensity to the pitches. As if I have had it MY way for long enough now. I just need to let them rescue me from the clutches of this disease!

Most have a cure that boosts the immune system. Most have a cousin, aunt or neighbor who saw this or tried that, and was healed! I even went to the spiritual church that 5 were pushing. I went to the front! I allowed this strange preacher man to put his hand on my forehead and "cast the demon out!" guess what? my MRI showed a new lesion.

I had a call from one of these women last night. They want to go out to lunch today. I said "no thank you." she seemed hurt and pushed for "why?!" I tried to express I wasnt feeling well, and she actually told me, I wasnt trying hard enough! I just needed a pep talk, and a cheerleader. Get up! lets go to lunch! I told the DH that she is the first one being crossed off my new list of friends to let go of. Friends are so precious and mean so much to me, but many of them have become stressful and pushy. its time to let go of such things.

Thanks for giving me the space I needed to rant. sometimes you just need to preach it to the choir. I know you folks get it!

I know what you mean when you say that friends sort of “drop off the radar.” Recently I invited a bunch of my most-cherished, long-time friends, (that I don’t see enough, and don’t hear enough from) for what we used to call a Hen Party. It seems that they now assume that I’m unavailable, so I never get invites to the group luncheons any more. We all agreed that we need to keep closer contact, but their suggestion was that I be the “social director,” and that I be the one to make it happen. Sheesh! I am sure they don’t have a clue about how cold that seems to me.

I guess I'm better off in recluse mode anyway. I enjoy my own company, and I never get into arguments with anybody that way.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I am not bombarded by silly advice from well-meaning friends. Aside for some initial stupid comments like:

"Oh MS is just the latest fad disease. If they can't figure out what's wrong with you, they call it MS." (This from a friend I considered one of the smartest people I knew.)

Or another comment: "Well, take good care of yourself, we don't want you to end up in a wheelchair like my other friend with MS."

Most of my friends are pretty quiet about it. I get the feeling they ask my H how I am doing. He always insists I'm "fine," whether I'm doing well or not. He generally does not tell them if I have had a relapse or some bad days.

Maybe that's why no one says anything to me. While I surely don't want to be bombarded, sometimes I feel as if no one cares how I'm doing. That's when I feel lonely and depressed about it.

My comment to those who have the gull, to think that I'm not trying hard enough.. ...

Ditto, Sal!

Wow does this really sound like a page of my life.....I guess you and I and everyone reading this goes thru all the opinions well meaning or not.Thankfully we can come here and let off steam with people who have endured comments,suggestions and my personal favourite you should pray better or go to church more...........Just wish some people wouldn`t try to make themselves look bigger by trying to make me look smaller...Well this is just one more opinion.....Jim

As predicted about 50% have not been heard from, and that is fine by me. I let 20% have their "explaination" of what they were trying to say, and followed it up with "we are NOT going to discuss MS" I said we can talk about the weather, or current events but NO MS talk!

20% apologized, and were unaware of just how pushy they had become. Were upset when they read the letter, but then examined just how our last several conversations went, and were upset with themselves when they realised how much they had tried to corner me.

10% were just plain nasty, and dont deserve a response. I will delete them from my email list, and social circles. If they want to show up and be adults, then ok, but again...NO MS talk! That will be reserved for me and my MD, and my husband.

Several have asked why I let other folks bother me. I think its human nature to want to be liked, nay loved. its a goal that many of us strive for. I was also raised as a Navy brat, and we moved constantly. I was never able to hang onto friends, because we always had to leave. My father taught firefighting school and it lasted 3 sometimes 6 months,so we moved ...alot! As an adult, I WANT friends!

I like most of us, want to be loved, and heard, and since I have given out so much comfort, love and affection in my circle, I guess I sort of expected to get what I gave. I expected others to be supportive, and strong, and help me no matter what path I chose to fight this thing with. I was surprised, and alarmed when so many became combative, and insistant that I follow their path. At first I was polite, and simply let them talk. I swallowed the sting. Before long I realised it had become habit for so many to continue this path, because I had allowed it, by not stopping it.

As Dr. Phil says (i really dont like him, but now and again he has a pearl) You teach people how to treat you. Since I had allowed it, then it was perceived as allowable. I have decided that its no longer allowable. It was an open door for stress, bad advice, and friends to become aggressive with me. From this day forward, NO MORE! Those who want to stay with me will, and those who dont....well, I am better off without them.

Thank you for all the public and private support around this issue. I was shocked at how many of you were walking a mile in my shoes.